Would like some insight on this dilemma

[catholicguy4123]

Hello all,

I am new to this forum.

Well where do I began…I will keep this short.

Basically, during my time as an undergrad student I sort of drifted away from the Church. It wasn’t very extreme, just got caught up in being busy and didn’t really include it in my life. Well, for the last 2 years as an undergrad, I was searching for a college to earn my master’s degree in music. While preparing for a grad audition, I had no luck and wasn’t progressing, so I gave it up and took up some jobs after graduating from my undergrad.

As we all know God work’s in mysterious ways and long story short, this past year, grad school has fallen onto my lap and just over a 5 month period, I auditioned at a school, got in, received a scholarship, and moved across the country and started school this fall.

Now where this gets tricky is that since praying again and attending Mass, great things have happened, like being admitted into a Graduate program, but now my love life is a mess and has caused me great pain. Actually, it’s probably the deepest pain I’ve ever felt.

I’ve definitely felt God’s presence calling me these past several months. For example, while working in a cafe, I overheard two people talking about trusting God’s plan, and even heard one of the guys indirectly say “oh, Roger (my name) are you listening?”

Now what I find weird is that after years and years of wondering about graduate school, I finally achieved that, but now my love life is terrible and has caused me great pain.

My questions to you: what are your thoughts on this? Is it okay to be bitter towards God but still attend Mass? How do you keep praying id you don’t get answers? Any additional advice?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Beryllos]

Why are you bitter? Did you expect your life to be perfect?

You said your love life is a mess, terrible, and has caused you much pain. I am guessing you are in your early 20s. At that age, it is fairly normal to have times of loneliness and/or heartbreak. Be patient. For all you know, it is God’s plan to prepare you and keep you available for the right person.

 

[catholicguy4123]

I’m bitter because I think I’ve found the one but currently it’s not working. How do you weigh patience vs giving up? Why would God show you clear signs but currently it’s not working out?

 

[JRKH]

Hello all,

I am new to this forum.

Welcome…

My questions to you: what are your thoughts on this?

Overall, my thoughts are that you are young…still discerning things and need to be patient.

Is it okay to be bitter towards God but still attend Mass?

Why are you bitter at God?
(but yes - do keep attending mass)

How do you keep praying if you don’t get answers?

How? You just fall on your knees, thank God for all the blessings he has alreadygiven you. Thank Him for the opportunity to serve Him.

In spite of what you may think right now, God is always answering prayers. You have been getting answers all along. They may not be complete answers…they may not be answers you like…you may not recognize them as answers but they ARE answers.

Any additional advice?

Sure…
Quite worrying so much about your love life. Yes it can be a shambles and it will hurt.
But…
Have you ever thought that God’s answer is that - for right now you need to concentrate on your studies and not on your love life?
Turn your prayers to praise and thanksgiving.
Trust that God has you covered (He does you know)
When you petition God for something make it something for somebody else - not for you.
For yourself pray only for humility and the grace to acquiesce to His will for you

Thanks in advance.
You are welcome.

Peace
James

 

[catholicguy4123]

That’s all for the great answers.

Another question: If I stopped attending mass or really even thinking about God and praying to him for a 7 year period, why would he grant me my wish of attending grad school with a scholarship, even after earning mediocre grades in my undergrad degree?

Now that I pray about my love life and attend mass and have matured over this time, it seems as if things are getting worse.

Thoughts?

 

[Dorothy]

Hello all,

I am new to this forum.

Well where do I began…I will keep this short.

Basically, during my time as an undergrad student I sort of drifted away from the Church. It wasn’t very extreme, just got caught up in being busy and didn’t really include it in my life. Well, for the last 2 years as an undergrad, I was searching for a college to earn my master’s degree in music. While preparing for a grad audition, I had no luck and wasn’t progressing, so I gave it up and took up some jobs after graduating from my undergrad.

As we all know God work’s in mysterious ways and long story short, this past year, grad school has fallen onto my lap and just over a 5 month period, I auditioned at a school, got in, received a scholarship, and moved across the country and started school this fall.

Now where this gets tricky is that since praying again and attending Mass, great things have happened, like being admitted into a Graduate program, but now my love life is a mess and has caused me great pain. Actually, it’s probably the deepest pain I’ve ever felt.

I’ve definitely felt God’s presence calling me these past several months. For example, while working in a cafe, I overheard two people talking about trusting God’s plan, and even heard one of the guys indirectly say “oh, Roger (my name) are you listening?”

Now what I find weird is that after years and years of wondering about graduate school, I finally achieved that, but now my love life is terrible and has caused me great pain.

My questions to you: what are your thoughts on this? Is it okay to be bitter towards God but still attend Mass? How do you keep praying id you don’t get answers? Any additional advice?

Thanks in advance.

I remember a retreat master telling us in a group that if we are disappointed in something and feel some anger towards the Lord, that we should complain politely to Him, and then be still and listen!!! You may not get the answer right away, but keep doing that daily and insights will come to you. It is important to listen to the Lord.

In the Psalms there are occasions when the psalmist does just that - complain to the Lord, and then listens. We become freer when we listen and obey.

 

[JRKH]

That’s all for the great answers.

Another question: If I stopped attending mass or really even thinking about God and praying to him for a 7 year period, why would he grant me my wish of attending grad school with a scholarship, even after earning mediocre grades in my undergrad degree?

Now that I pray about my love life and attend mass and have matured over this time, it seems as if things are getting worse.

Thoughts?

Consider that there are two forces at work here. God and the enemy of God.
Who is doing what can sometimes be hard to discern, but the key to that discernment is found in Agape love.

I know that this is not a very clear and direct answer, but I think there is need for you to more deeply explore the Christian prayer life. There is a book in my signature. I suggest your get a copy. I was a tremendous help to me.

Peace
James

 

[ynotzap]

You are young. Many people pray for a long time and reach a point where they feel, “Why pray any more, God is not answering me.” they give God a time limit. If they feel the need strong enough and are suffering anxiety, pain, they become bitter towards God. Many are not oriented to the ultimate goal in llife, which is the purpose of their creation, union with God. Divine Providence arranges events in one’s life that guide towards this ultimate purpose. Everyone is tested in their fidelity to God, by trials of Faith, trust, and love. If something happens to discourage you, what will you do, give up your faith, or trust, and how will your fidelity to God be proven? If you accept your trials and remain faithful, you will mature spiritually, become seasoned. If your fidelity depended on getting what you desire, when you want it, and how you want it,what will the ultimately get you? Your faith, hope and love is found “wanting”. Additionally, that which you desire “becomes your false god” The attitude is " God if I give you this, you give me that" and if you don’t I will feel bitter.
One profound reason for our trials is that we go to the feet of God in our needs, but by “grace” enlightenment suddenly we realize that our trials were given in order to discover our greatest need, God, himself. When we got Him, then it’s safe to have the other things, they no longer become false gods, they don’t come first anymore. We find our peace knowing He is taking care of us.

 

[fred_conty]

So what are your options with God? Love him when he agrees with you and turn your back on him when he disagrees with you?

He comes to you this Christmas in a manger, cold, poor, with nothing. We can respond to him with demands or with love.

May the Good Shepherd fill you with peace.