Would this be a good confession?

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Anamaria97

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I hope this is the right place… 😦

im a 14 year old female, and i am going to confession soon.

i really am pretty good about not having impure thoughts and stuff like that, but i have masturbated and looked at porn. I knew these were probably sins, but i didt know til today that they were MORTAL. would that mean they were mortal sins or no?

For my confession, i would like to say…

for commiting self-abuse a few times a month for the past 4 months.

for looking at impure pictures a few times.

along with the other stuff i need to say.

Would this be okay? Should i add anything? I just really want to get this done and start a clean slate with God and keep it that way. Please respond, and pray for me
 
I don’t know if this would be an acceptable confession or not, hopefully someone else can help with that. But I used to try to come up with tricky wording to avoid saying “porn” and “masturbation” during confession. Trust me, just say it. You’ll feel soo much more freedom from the sin. There’s no need to feel uncomfortable either. Priests have heard it all.

I’ll pray for you. Peace!
 
trmyjs said:
I don’t know if this would be an acceptable confession or not, hopefully someone else can help with that. But I used to try to come up with tricky wording to avoid saying “porn” and “masturbation” during confession. Trust me, just say it. You’ll feel soo much more freedom from the sin. There’s no need to feel uncomfortable either. Priests have heard it all.

I’ll pray for you. Peace!
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I do not think you need to say masturbation.
The word is not mentioned in the 10 comandments.
It would not be a sin if it was not for something else. That something else is what must be said.
I would spare the priest all the details, otherwise, confession will look like a “porn session”😃 (joking…). Or if I killed somebody, I could avoir all the gruesome aspects of it.
The important thing is the violation of the will of God for this World. God wanted one way and we did another way. We are sorry and we strive to convert.

My opinion, only, I passed through all your stages, be indirect, be explicit, now be more polite. For it is not the list the most important, it is the realization that God is the Master, that we obey Him, That we did wrong thins, that We love Him, that we want to do best. In all aspects that we say, that we forgot to say, that we did not know we had to say.
 
Anamaria97 said:
I hope this is the right place… 😦

im a 14 year old female, and i am going to confession soon.

i really am pretty good about not having impure thoughts and stuff like that, but i have masturbated and looked at porn. I knew these were probably sins, but i didt know til today that they were MORTAL. would that mean they were mortal sins or no?

For my confession, i would like to say…

for commiting self-abuse a few times a month for the past 4 months.

for looking at impure pictures a few times.

along with the other stuff i need to say.

Would this be okay? Should i add anything? I just really want to get this done and start a clean slate with God and keep it that way. Please respond, and pray for me
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It is really fine.
I answered to the next post thinking also on you.
My opinion only, I do not intend to impose.
God Bless You, you seem to be a fine girl.
 
Okay, thank you 🙂

Im not trying to be vague about the sin or anything, but I just hate the words and i would really rather not say them out loud 😦 so i just wanted a way to say them directly with different words, if thats okay?
 
Pfaffenhoffen said:
I do not think you need to say masturbation.
The word is not mentioned in the 10 comandments.
It would not be a sin if it was not for something else. That something else is what must be said.
I would spare the priest all the details, otherwise, confession will look like a “porn session”😃 (joking…). Or if I killed somebody, I could avoir all the gruesome aspects of it.
The important thing is the violation of the will of God for this World. God wanted one way and we did another way. We are sorry and we strive to convert.

My opinion, only, I passed through all your stages, be indirect, be explicit, now be more polite. For it is not the list the most important, it is the realization that God is the Master, that we obey Him, That we did wrong thins, that We love Him, that we want to do best. In all aspects that we say, that we forgot to say, that we did not know we had to say.
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Masturbation is a mortal sin, covered under “thou shalt not commit adultery.” Please don’t confuse someone trying to make an honest confession.
 
Anamaria97 said:
Okay, thank you 🙂

Im not trying to be vague about the sin or anything, but I just hate the words and i would really rather not say them out loud 😦 so i just wanted a way to say them directly with different words, if thats okay?
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I agree with those who are saying, just say it.

You were able to use the right words in your message to us - in the privacy of the Confessional it is just you and the priest, and he is not allowed to repeat anything later on. So, just say it. It also avoids misunderstanding - he might think you did something even worse, or that you have a mental illness, if you use an obscure word for it.
 
Okay, that make sense

And would it be a mortal sin if i didnt know it was a mortal sin?
 
Anamaria97 said:
I hope this is the right place… 😦

im a 14 year old female, and i am going to confession soon.

i really am pretty good about not having impure thoughts and stuff like that, but i have masturbated and looked at porn. I knew these were probably sins, but i didt know til today that they were MORTAL. would that mean they were mortal sins or no?

For my confession, i would like to say…

for commiting self-abuse a few times a month for the past 4 months.

for looking at impure pictures a few times.

along with the other stuff i need to say.

Would this be okay? Should i add anything? I just really want to get this done and start a clean slate with God and keep it that way. Please respond, and pray for me
Click to expand...
You need to get across to the priest the kind of sin you committed and, as best as you can estimate, the number of times you committed it.

“Self-abuse” is an old synonym for masturbation that presumably the priest will know. In my opinion, if you said “very impure pictures” the priest would almost certainly understand what you mean. The exception would be if what was depicted was impure to a level beyond what the priest would presume, such as homosexual pornography or (on a whole other, much worse level) child pornography. You don’t need to, and almost certainly should not, go into all the grimy details but the priest does need to know the basic kind of sin that was committed.

The term “a few” could mean any number of things, so I would try as best you can for a number or range. For example, instead of “a few times a month for the last four months” make it “about five to ten times a month for the last four months” or whatever it is you actually mean by “a few”. Same thing with “a few times”; give the exact number if you remember it, and if you can’t remember then give your best estimate, such as “I don’t remember exactly how many times; maybe four or five” or again whatever the truth of the matter is. When in doubt, highball your estimates to avoid the temptation to go with as low an estimate as you think could be plausible, leading you to wonder if the confession was valid afterwards.

At least, this is how I’ve handled confessions in which I’m not certain of the number of times I’ve committed a sin, and all the priests I’ve confessed to accepted it.
 
Anamaria97 said:
Okay, that make sense

And would it be a mortal sin if i didnt know it was a mortal sin?
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It is still grave matter, in either case, so it is best for you to confess it. Confessing it out loud will open a floodgate of graces to avoid committing the same sin again in the future - and now that you know it’s mortal, I’m sure you want to do everything possible to avoid it in the future. 🙂
 
Okay, thank you so much 🙂 i feel a little better now. ill try to use the right words and everything. I go to confession 2 times a year and never heard of sayng the amount of times.

Should i let the priest know that this was done before i knew it was mortal?
 
Anamaria97 said:
Okay, thank you so much 🙂 i feel a little better now. ill try to use the right words and everything. I go to confession 2 times a year and never heard of sayng the amount of times.

Should i let the priest know that this was done before i knew it was mortal?
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You could if you want, but it might come across as if you were trying to avoid taking moral responsibility for your actions, depending on how you say it. If you get into the subject I’d emphasize that you did know it was wrong and are sorry for having done it, so the priest knows you are taking responsibility and are repentant. That’s just my opinion.
 
Bookmarked the exam, thank you 🙂

Should i be like, at the time i commited these sins i did not know they were moral, but now i do and am truly sorry for commiting them?

i just want to make sure the priest knows 100% what i mean.
 
Anamaria97 said:
Bookmarked the exam, thank you 🙂

Should i be like, at the time i commited these sins i did not know they were moral, but now i do and am truly sorry for commiting them?

i just want to make sure the priest knows 100% what i mean.
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I believe what you said above is just fine. I know you meant “mortal”. Even when we are not aware a sin is mortal is still harms us in ways we do not fully understand. It is good that you now know it is mortal.

God bless you!
 
Aelred_Minor said:
Masturbation is a mortal sin, covered under “thou shalt not commit adultery.” Please don’t confuse someone trying to make an honest confession.
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Am I confusing?

To be a mortal sin, there are 3 conditions:
  1. grave matter;
  2. full (100%) consentment:
  3. full (100%) acknowledgement.
This is not a traffic disorder, where, you’ve done, you pay for it.
To jump here and say to a 14 year old
Masturbation is a mortal sin,
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coldly and one-sidedly is to play God. The girl is already worried about “ist it a mortal or non mortal sin” and you are playing God without authority for that.

No one but God has got a mortal-sin-meter to judge, no man on Earth. We will never know whether Hitler and Judas (as Jesus told St. Theresa of Avila) are in hell.

God know when it is and when it is not. Not a 70 year-old so, not a 14 year-old who is searching for his sexuality and love and affection.
On the other hand, it is putting too much emphasis on the non-essential things and forget the essential.
The essential in confession is not choosing from the “menu of sins” and telling them all. The essential is the repentance, the will to change, the will to perfection, the will to make a good confession without entering in intimate details.
Repentance and change of life and asking for forgiveness and mending ways to God, that is what is more important.
 
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