Would you consider a guy who does not have time for you?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ma.Eugenia
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I gotta tell ya, this would confuse me too. Why not ask HIM directly - “Do you want to make time for me, court me with an eye towards marriage, or not?”
Go on…I double dog dare you…
I triple dog dare you!!!
 
No.

You want to be married to someone who is crazy about you…not someone who kinda sorta likes you. Believe me, I dated both and married the one who was crazy about me. Best thing I ever did. 😃 :love:
 
if he doesn’t have time for me I sure won’t be making any time for him
 
Hello, Eugenia,

I’ve read all the other posts, and though a knee-jerk reaction would be to say “no”, don’t bother…after reading your posts carefully, and taking into consideration possible cultural differences that we in the US may not quite understand, I feel differently.

I would insist on a good heart-to-heart talk with him. I think that, if you did not, you would always wonder “what could have been.” As he is a physician, he has clearly been through many years of education and training, and may just now be giving serious thought to settling down. You mentioned several things that sounded like strong hints to me: his decorating in blue, your favorite color, getting extra storage, mentioning a bed for two…He may be shy and unsure of how you would react, but is dropping what he thinks are big hints, hoping you follow through.

Tell him you wish to have a serious talk with him, tell him what’s in your heart and then gauge his reaction and take it from there (or not, depending.) And, always pray.

You have absolutely nothing to lose, and maybe a good Catholic husband, who you already know and like, to gain.

Blessings!
 
My DH started law school soon after we were married and getting to know his single friends I noticed that they didn’t have committed relationships and the relationships they did have were with others in Law School because they had no time, and people who weren’t in school with them didn’t understand.
Oh, I assure you it’s because no one but a lawyer gets to understand one. Being one, I can tell you. 😃 I’m sort of asking one out soon, actually, in a situation much like what you described earlier in your post, except on both sides. So we almost never mentioned anything re: romantic matters in our conversations, we often neglected to stay in touch for extended periods of time, no talking of relationships (previous or while talking as friends), either. Sometimes things just go like that.
 
And to the Opening Poster: Ma. Eugenia, that weird relationship (not in “this” sense) of yours resembles what I described in my last post… Perhaps he’s not that much into you. Or perhaps he had good reasons. You never know and an honest conversation could help. I can’t see him being head over hills for you at this current moment, though you never know. I would be worried about some of the outward suggestions, including the big bed, but there are cultural differences at play here, so I can’t really tell. Don’t marry him if it looks like he’s doing you a favour, or if he’s lukewarm about it, or if you are. And you deserved to be treasured. If he doesn’t, then maybe you need someone who will treasure you and he someone whom he will be able to treasure.
 
Hi everyone!

I read all your replies here. Thank you very much for taking time to answer me. 🙂

I somehow feel that actions speak louder than words. I hear a lot of things that he supposedly told his sister or sister-in-law about his feelings for me, but I feel the way he does not seek me out does not jive with whats being said.

With that thought, as Chevalier said “its hard to imagine that he is head over heels” with me. So, my initial “giddy” reaction has been tempered by reality.

I feel that if he has to say something to me, he has to say it without coursing it through other people. We’re friends, he should know I don’t bite. 😃

I am a little hesitant to make the first move. I come from a very conservative Filipino family, so the way I think and act is usually influenced by that and tend to wait for the man to make the first move.

I know this way of thinking can be a little outdated, as even my friends tell me. Its also a matter of self-preservation on my part as I dread to think that his liking me is just all in my imagination and it will be horrifyingly embarrasing if in the end he will say “I’m not in to you and don’t want to date you.”—but then again, as many of you pointed out (and I think you’re right) “I need ask the question.” so I will not wonder about the “what ifs” any more and free myself from thinking about him.

There are strong hints that show he cares but strong indications that he doesn’t too. Its all too confusing. :confused:

I need to know the answers to the question: “Do you like me? If you do, are you willing to make time for me to get to know you better?”

I will be attending the blessing for his house around next month—if he makes another hint, maybe this one time, I can hold my breath and ask him point blank.

Actually, when he told me that he decided to get the bed for two–I had thought (on second throught) that I should have said, “Why, do you have a woman in mind you want to marry?” —my friends laughingly told me that that would have squeezed the answer out of him—BUT as things happened, I chickened out.

So, LSK and BlestOne, this time around …I think I’ll take you up in your challege. 😃 Yep, I will give it a shot.
 
Actually, when he told me that he decided to get the bed for two–I had thought (on second throught) that I should have said, “Why, do you have a woman in mind you want to marry?” —my friends laughingly told me that that would have squeezed the answer out of him—BUT as things happened, I chickened out.

So, LSK and BlestOne, this time around …I think I’ll take you up in your challege. 😃 Yep, I will give it a shot.
That’s a good one. “Clumsy” jokes are one of the best methods of diplomacy ever invented.
 
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