Would you consider this violation of pledge to forsake others?

[whatevergirl]

a couple of years ago i was packing our apartment and found a box of mementos from my dh ex girlfriend in college.I called him and asked if i could look through it. He didn’t care and much to my delight found $30.00 that had been tucked away in a letter. I went out and bought new clothes

There was also a baby blanket that had belonged to her as a baby. My dh did contact her and meet up with her to give it to her since was something that he thought she’d want back. I had no problem with them meeting nor if he had decided he wanted to continue a friendship with her because i trust him completely.

If either one of was ever going to “cheat” I’d just tell him and vice versa because at that point our marriage is over.

LOL–That’s too cute, maria…you went out and bought new clothes!

 

[whatevergirl]

I am also of the opinion that this is a midlife issue. I think it’s normal for men to experience a period of reflection and re-evaluation of their lives when they are in their late 40’s/early 50’s. It’s a “crisis” in the sense that the man’s life is likely to go in a somewhat different direction than it did earlier. And it’s almost guaranteed that this will affect the relationship with the wife (and maybe the children) because the man is trying to figure out who he is apart from his marriage and his job.

I know with my husband he felt the need to reconnect with some of the people he knew in high school and in his early 20’s, some male, some female.

My guess is that the OP’s husband is needing to revisit his life at the time of the relationship with this girlfriend. The girlfriend herself was too dangerous so he chose to visit the parents. But even this has stirred up emotions the husband doesn’t know how to feel. He didn’t want to make his wife feel his discomfort so he said nothing. Unfortunately his actions had the opposite effect.

I think the OP would be wise to invite her husband to share those feelings but I think she would be even wiser to let it happen on his time. Chances are she has three years or so before her husband begins to find his direction.

I think you could be right here. While I still think his attitude shouldn’t be swept under the rug, as we don’t know for sure if this is a crisis, or if he really is having some trouble with something else (which is why he needs to confide in his wife) I think that it could very well be that he just be revisiting parts of his life, before he can take on a new direction.

Interesting thread!

To the OP…I will keep you both in my prayers…I pray that this is just a phase, or a passing thing, and that you and your husband will talk it over. (or have talked it over) (((hugs)))