Would you ever date a cafeteria/lukewarm catholic?

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Chicken_Pigeon

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Not trying to start a flamewar here but sometimes it seems like the devout girls I’ve dated were super insecure and boring but the “bad” girls who were just catholic “lite” were more interesting

so would you date a cafeteria catholic? would you do so with the intention of trying to bring them back into the complete fold?

bokbok
 
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Chicken_Pigeon said:
Not trying to start a flamewar here but sometimes it seems like the devout girls I’ve dated were super insecure and boring but the “bad” girls who were just catholic “lite” were more interesting
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Because you are looking for the wrong things. You find what you seek.

No I would not date a cafeteria Catholic. And missionary dating is a bad idea and places unfair pressure on the other person. It is wrong.
 
I would because I would be more interested in finding someone who I really liked (for a variety of reasons) than someone who was exactly at the same place as me in my faith journey. However, I am fine with being with someone who doesn’t have the same faith as me, so that may be why it wouldn’t be an impedement. @1ke has it right, though. Don’t date someone with the idea that you are going to change them or accelerate their faith journey. It is unfair to try to manipulate someone this way and it has the likelihood of causing a bunch of heartburn for one or both of you.
 
I’ve found that the “good” Catholic girls tend to have issues. I would advise dating girls who are interesting, adventurous, comfortable with their own sexuality, and capable of appreciating masculinity. I believe that if you date those kinds of girls, you’ll eventually find one that makes you happy.
 
Yeah. I feel like either it’s either devout girls with issues or lukewarm girls who have aspirations and confidence
 
Looking back ,I should have dated someone on the same page with similar life experiences.
 
In some cases it could take a few dates to find out how devout/lukewarm someone is. So…yes?

I thought I needed to date and marry a devout Catholic. Dated and married an agnostic instead and the Holy Spirit turned him Catholic. Lukewarm is not a permanent state.
 
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I was that lukewarm Catholic.
My husband’s family was furious with him for marrying me.

I am now the devout one, he is non-practicing and we have been married almost 30 years.

He is also the only one of his siblings still married to their first/only spouse.
 
Date one? I was one!

However, I would not have wanted to date a guy who thought I was a “bad” girl or "catholic ‘lite’ ".
I enjoyed dating men who were not judgmental and didn’t lecture me on morals or how to live my life (I already had a mom and dad for that, thanks).
The man I ended up marrying was the most easygoing, kind and non-judgmental of all, and didn’t do a darn thing to try to “bring me back into the complete fold” because he thought I was fine just as I was. I was inspired to live a better life partly because he was such a good guy and he saw me as good too.

Don’t ever date anyone with the intention of redeeming them.
It likely won’t work, and it’s frankly insulting.
Plus you’re just kidding yourself because you really want to date them because you like them/ they’re interesting/ exciting, and you saying you can bring them back into the fold is just a big fat excuse for yourself.
 
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I did, I married him, and he’s become more devout over the years.
 
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