Would you go?

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Miss_Piggy

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Would you go to a bridal shower for a relative who was living with her fiance and planning a huge Catholic wedding? The thought of attending makes me feel like a hypocrite. What would you do?
 
My wife would go. At least they are getting married, even if a little later than when they should have.
 
I would not go for two reasons:
  1. They are living in sin.
  2. The original intent of bridal showers was to help a girl who did not have a dowry and therefore could not afford to buy practical items she would need for the household. Since they already are living together and obviously surviving, they must have everything they need.
 
I definately would not go to the shower, and most likely wouldn’t go to the wedding either.
 
How do you even know that they are sleeping together? Just wondering. As for whether you should go, I dunno, what feels right to you?

Eamon
 
So in your opinion, it would be better if they went on living in sin? Or married in a civil ceremony? My husband and I lived together for 5 years before we got married. For the last year before the wedding, we lived “as brother and sister” (we already had 2 kids, which is why we didn’t live separately during that time). People make mistakes, and it sounds like your relative and her fiance are trying to get their lives back on the right track. Be like the prodigal son’s father, not like his older brother.
 
Miss Piggy:
Would you go to a bridal shower for a relative who was living with her fiance and planning a huge Catholic wedding? The thought of attending makes me feel like a hypocrite. What would you do?
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Offer to play the organ or piano for them and then charge them $100 to go to the wedding. As long as this is not sacramental, it may as well be profitable.

Alan
 
I would assume that as they have begun marriage preparation classes, since the wedding is going to be Catholic, that they have been counselled by the priest and are living as brother and sister. any other assumption would be uncharitable.
 
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mjdonnelly:
My wife would go. At least they are getting married, even if a little later than when they should have.
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God Bless you!

I would attend as well. I am going to celebrate the manner in which they will be living, not in the way they are living now.

I sure am glad Jesus didnt tell the publicans, the whores, the adulters and all the other sinners, that they needed to clean up their lives BEFORE he entered their tents and/or homes to have dinner with them. 😉
 
Interesting responses and food for thought. I asked my confessor, and he said that the priest would have already asked in marriage preparation classes, but that I could write a “love” letter expressing to them what Christ and His Church mean to me. I liked that idea. I know that in some cases the priest asks, and the couple lies. I’ve heard of other parishes where they are very serious about helping couples be successful and prepared for marriage so they have couples in the community who will house one or the other of the two so they can move apart until they marry. If they are a young couple who has previously not exercised restraint, I would think it would take superhuman strength to resist the temptation and remain chaste while still living together before the wedding. An older couple with children might be able to pull it off, but I don’t see a young couple having much chance of success under those circumstances. As far as being uncharitable in assuming that just because they are living together they are sleeping together, wouldn’t a priest tell them to move apart since it could be a cause for scandal? (the sin definition not just the gossip definition) I think what bothers me is that I know that if they receive the Sacrament of Marriage in a state of sin that they will not receive the grace from the sacrament until they have gone to Confession and repented. They need that grace to be successful in fulfilling that vocation. I like them and I want to see them have a happy marriage. Therefore, it would seem to me that real charity would call for instructing the ignorant and admonishing the sinner. Also, while many people probably profane Jesus in the Eucharist by receiving Him in a state of mortal sin, they are usually anonymous. If I attend their wedding as a witness (as everyone there is called to be), what am I witnessing to if they are living in sin the days leading up to the wedding? When Jesus called sinners to come and follow Him or when He healed them, He always told them to go and sin no more, not just keep doing evil and I’ll still think you’re serious about following Me. He said if you love Me, keep my Commandments. And wasn’t the key to the prodigal son story the fact that he REPENTED? God is always there waiting for us with open arms, but we have to be the one to repent. Just the act of getting married doesn’t forgive the sin of fornication and make it all right.
 
Are you “close” with this relative? Would you be able to maybe take her out to lunch and discuss this with her? She might think you are being nosey if you get too personal, but gossiping about her to other relatives to find out the truth would be wrong too. I suppose it they are blatently “living in sin” I would question the “big Catholic wedding” and ask her straight out what was going on. Some kids these days are just going to do what they want, and society has told them it’s ok… maybe she needs a push from you that it’s not ok. Maybe she is concerned about it too, and doesnt know how to get out of the situation without upsetting her fiance. Even if they’ve already cohabitated, remaining pure until the wedding night is still of value for them both. I think that knowing the situation would be helpful in making the decision whether to attend or not.
 
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