Wrong Prayers... Wrong Vocation?

[Psalm_37_4-5]

This question is similar to the one listed earlier about the wrong vocation, but a little different. I’m confused about prayer… what I’m supposed to pray for. The only thing I thought about being was a wife and mom someday and I find myself now in my early 30s, single. I thought about the religious life, but I feel that I really would do best with a partner, a husband to share life and a spiritual life with. For this and other reasons I do not feel I am to be a nun.

I am “content” with my life as it is - I own a sweet little house, have a great dog and love the kind of life I’m living, where I live, my job(s), etc. However I find myself becoming frustrated when I think about trying to find a husband someday. One part of me feels like I need to just trust in God and that He will lead me to the right man if it is what is meant to be. The other part of me feels a bit like I need to help God help me, by at least trying to focus on eventually being married and looking for opportunities to make that happen. I live in a small town with a relatively small congregation, so it’s not like there are a multitude of “options” for me.

Since I’ve expressed to others my desire to be married, and some of my frustration, I have gotten a lot of advice. Relax, trust, have faith, pray, etc. Recently my mom sent me a medal of St. Anne who is the patron saint of married women or families or getting a husband… my problem is that there are a ton of saints I could be praying to or have a devotion to regarding my issues - being a single person, chastity, finding a husband, praying FOR whoever my husband would be out there so that he can find me, etc. There are novenas and chaplets and psalms and saints to pray to, medals to wear, etc. How in the world am I supposed to decide what to focus on? I feel so scattered and unfocused.

I want to be open to what God wants of me, which means giving up the control I seem to want, and praying. But for what exactly? What if I’m really meant to be a single person… then I should feel more content or peaceful about it and pray for the strength to live that life. But what if I am to be married - then I should be focusing on attracting the man God has in mind for me, doing the work and the praying for that.

I have so many books and prayer cards, people give me things all the time. Part of the problem is my mom who sends me medals and prayer cards and who offers things up for me and my future spouse, who offers intentions up on pilgrimages, etc. They are all different prayers, saints, etc., and I feel bad not “using” them, and I end up feeling overwhelmed…

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions?

 

[magdaline]

Greetings,
Prayers don’t necessarily have to be for yourself.
They can be for others close to you, friends, enemies,
world peace, peace of mind, inner peace. Meanwhile I will pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you.
Magdaline

 

[baltobetsy]

You’ll probably be most at peace if you make your prayer, “Thy will be done.” Ask for light to know God’s will for you. Don’t worry that praying for the wrong thing will cause God to make a mistake and give you the wrong thing. If you feel moved to pray for your future husband, go ahead. If you’re not meant to be married, your prayer will not go to waste - God will use it as He sees fit.

When people give you prayer cards, medals, etc., accept them graciously and pray them if they appeal to you; put them aside if they do not. No harm can come from prayer.

The fact that you’re content with your life now may be a big indication that you have already found what God wants for you. Ask God to help you be ready to do whatever He asks of you, and you’ll always be on the right path.

God bless you!
Betsy

 

[Psalm_37_4-5]

Thank you for your replies… I’ve always felt bad or guilty about not praying something someone suggests… at first I will, then if it seems to connect, I will continue, but if it doesn’t I kind of let it fall away. When that happens, I feel like maybe the devil has gotten to me and made me weak. But then I realize I couldn’t possibly do every single prayer people suggest or I come up with or I’d be doing it all day. THEN, once I think that, I wonder if I’m SUPPOSED to be doing that all day, like as a nun or something. Then I feel even more guilty or mixed up… it’s a viscious circle But “thy will be done” has been my motto for a few years, even though sometimes I forget. It is so simple… Thank you for reminding me.