Wrong to have a girl roomate?

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zeek

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Hello,

Me and my male roomate have 2 rooms open in a house we rent and we’re looking for roomates to lower rent. He knows of a girl at work who would be interested in moving in, would this be sinful to allow this? As far as I know he isn’t attracted to her in that way and I have never met her.

Thank you!
 
I may be wrong, but as long as the situation is and stays totally platonic, I think it’s ok.
 
I wouldn’t do it, if I were you. Even if it is totally innocent, it might make others think that you don’t have a problem with co-habitation, and lead them into sin.
 
If you are completely certain it won’t be a near occasion for sin, and equally certain that her moving in will not give the wrong impression to those around you, then I can’t see a moral problem. Otherwise, I don’t think it would be a good idea.
 
AquinaSavio said:
I wouldn’t do it, if I were you. Even if it is totally innocent, it might make others think that you don’t have a problem with co-habitation, and lead them into sin.
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I’ve had male and female roomies. Some were more difficult to share with than others. Just be careful if you do decide to go ahead with it.
 
Whether a girl or a guy, you should really know the person before you say yes. On the subject of it being a person of the opposite sex, as a guy I would say this can be more difficult from our perspective because we get easily attracted to girls and this can cloud our judgement about staying pure and having clean intentions. What can start out as a platonic friendship could easily lead to romantic interest and being in the same house would only lend itself to risking sin. I think its wiser to pay the extra rent or find a decent guy roommate. The only time i would see an opposite sex roommate as acceptable would be the case of it being a sister or cousin or other constraining circumstances, ie the girl needs a place to go to get out of a dangerous situation and you are the best individual to help out. Otherwise don’t risk it. I think tv shows are pretty accurate when they show all the tension between opposite sex roomies.
 
Hmm…well, I am a total believer that guys can be platonic friends with girls and not be tempted by situations alone with them. Eventually, platonic girl friends can become like* sisters* (as male friends should become like brothers) and the thought of sex with such “sisters” is not only unappealing, but downright disgusting. Of course, this depends on the dynamics of the specific relationship.

However, that is not really the issue. The issue is the *scandal *caused. If people know that there is nothing going on, maybe this would be okay. But if people might be led to assume something scandalous…then it is not okay. You have to be very careful about what other people think and not causing scandal. Even if it is a very tight knit community and people know that there is nothing going on…you still have to worry about visitors, mailmen, etc (though those types of people might just assume you are married or siblings and so not be scandalized…)
 
batteddy said:
Hmm…well, I am a total believer that guys can be platonic friends with girls and not be tempted by situations alone with them. Eventually, platonic girl friends can become like* sisters* (as male friends should become like brothers) and the thought of sex with such “sisters” is not only unappealing, but downright disgusting. Of course, this depends on the dynamics of the specific relationship.

However, that is not really the issue. The issue is the *scandal *caused. If people know that there is nothing going on, maybe this would be okay. But if people might be led to assume something scandalous…then it is not okay. You have to be very careful aboutwhat other people think and not causing scandal. Even if it is a very tight knit community and people know that there is nothing going on…**you still have to worry about visitors, mailmen, etc **(though those types of people might just assume you are married or siblings and so not be scandalized…)
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Why should he care? She is paying her rent.
 
Did this in college. My female roommate ended up in bed with my male roommate.

Bad idea. 😦
 
zeek said:
Hello,

Me and my male roomate have 2 rooms open in a house we rent and we’re looking for roomates to lower rent. He knows of a girl at work who would be interested in moving in, would this be sinful to allow this? As far as I know he isn’t attracted to her in that way and I have never met her.

Thank you!
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Why open yourself up to temptation? Why even put yourself in that position?

In Christ,
Nancy 🙂
 
Just because no one has romantic feelings at the outset, doesn’t mean they won’t develop later. Then what? Kick her out?

Just don’t get into the situation in the first place. —KCT
 
Thanks for the comments/advice everyone, greatly appreciate it. It is good to see people so helpful!

The girl is not moving in, now we have a male moving in, a manager of my roomate at his work place, have not met the person but hopefully it will all work out!

Thanks a lot!
 
I should not have even considered it, thanks again for the advice.There are good comments here, even putting myself in a tempting situation quite frankly is foolish.

Thanks everyone and God Bless!
 
zeek said:
Hello,

Me and my male roomate have 2 rooms open in a house we rent and we’re looking for roomates to lower rent. He knows of a girl at work who would be interested in moving in, would this be sinful to allow this? As far as I know he isn’t attracted to her in that way and I have never met her.

Thank you!
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Sinful in the sense yes that it may be cause of scandal, especially if you are catholic. I for one, whenever I used to go to the home of a friend who was alone at home, 29 years old, I would take another common friend (was friends with her too) who is male as me, as well respected as a spiritual/holy guy. She would cook for us both, we would then pray the rosary etc. then joke and talk. She as well as us, enjoyed our common company.
 
DailyBread said:
Whether a girl or a guy, you should really know the person before you say yes. On the subject of it being a person of the opposite sex, as a guy I would say this can be more difficult from our perspective because we get easily attracted to girls and this can cloud our judgement about staying pure and having clean intentions. What can start out as a platonic friendship could easily lead to romantic interest and being in the same house would only lend itself to risking sin. I think its wiser to pay the extra rent or find a decent guy roommate. The only time i would see an opposite sex roommate as acceptable would be the case of it being a sister or cousin or other constraining circumstances, ie the girl needs a place to go to get out of a dangerous situation and you are the best individual to help out. Otherwise don’t risk it. I think tv shows are pretty accurate when they show all the tension between opposite sex roomies.
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Not even my female cousins, they are too pretty:p
 
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you having a female roommate, and it’s honestly a sad thing that a thought like this should ever plague your mind.

But by all means, go ahead and allow her to stay, be friends, and if the friendship blossoms into something more beautiful, don’t let anyone condemn you for it. It’s not in anyone’s place to think less of you for having a roommate of the opposite sex, because that manner of thinking only leads to ignorance, suspicion, and lots of finger-pointing.
 
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