Wrong to pray that someone will Leave?

[Rawb]

In high school my best friend was a Jehovah’s witness. We’re in college together now, living together with two other guys in an apartment. The thing is, since I’ve become Catholic he’s made a few jokes that I think he doesn’t see as that offensive but I do. If I mention it he wants to get into a theological debate. I can defend my beliefs, but he doesn’t listen to what I’m saying anyway, so it’s pointless. It gets frustrating and I’m tired as it is, I’m in the middle of college!

Another of my roomates is Lutheran, so we get along pretty well because our doctrines are similar. My JW friend has been annoying him as well, but Lutheran doesn’t understand even some of the jokes that JW is making because he doesn’t know the JW that well. We’ve talked about getting an apartment together next year without JW.

Here’s the thing. Is it wrong to pray, or ask for in my rosary, that over the course of the next year something will happen that will make the break easier? JW and I were good friends in high school, thought we would be forever, but I just don’t see it happenening anymore (of course there’re other things as well that annoy me other than jokes). Is it wrong to pray that a fight will come about, or that we naturally realize we can’t live together?

 

[Mary1973]

I would not pray for anything negative. I would pray that you will be given assistance in dealing with him. You could ask a priest or other Catholics for ideas on how to react with him. Remember, you are a witness of the faith. Living as a good Catholic is the best example you can give him. Pray for his conversion.

God bless you and I hope it all works out.

 

[jennyr]

I would pray for the wisdom to know what God wants you to do, not necessarily 1 course of action.

Maybe God wants you to leave the house, because this person is obviously affecting you.

Maybe God wants you to help this person learn more about Catholicism.

Maybe God simply wants you to be nice so in 50 years when his grandson says he wants to be Catholic he will remember how nice you were and not get so pissed about it.

I personally don’t think its a problem though to say “God, this person is causing me much anxiety and greatly troubles me, please let me know…” whatever. God knows you are pissed at this person already

 

[catsrus]

A jw in college?!?!?!
How’d that happen? They preach against higher education of any sort and are supposed to devote all free time to door to door visiting.
He must have not been very strong in his faith in high school because they also are not to have any association with “worldly” people. i.e. anyone not a jw.

 

[wcknight]

I would confront him one on one with exactly what your objections are to his comments. I know a few JW’s and they are not all like that. They may have some off the wall beliefs but I think they are fairly tolerant of beliefs other than their own, at least my JW friends are.

 

[Della]

Rawb:

Another of my roomates is Lutheran, so we get along pretty well because our doctrines are similar. My JW friend has been annoying him as well, but Lutheran doesn’t understand even some of the jokes that JW is making because he doesn’t know the JW that well. We’ve talked about getting an apartment together next year without JW.

Get another apartment without him. If he is going to cross over boundaries you have set with him (his constant “jokes,” etc.), then you have every right to move on. Sometimes people have to be left to fend for themselves if they aren’t going to respect others rights and needs. Continue to pray for him, and see him, if you wish, but you don’t have to live with him.

 

[Steven_Merten]

In high school my best friend was a Jehovah’s witness. We’re in college together now, living together with two other guys in an apartment. The thing is, since I’ve become Catholic he’s made a few jokes that I think he doesn’t see as that offensive but I do. If I mention it he wants to get into a theological debate. I can defend my beliefs, but he doesn’t listen to what I’m saying anyway, so it’s pointless. It gets frustrating and I’m tired as it is, I’m in the middle of college!

Another of my roomates is Lutheran, so we get along pretty well because our doctrines are similar. My JW friend has been annoying him as well, but Lutheran doesn’t understand even some of the jokes that JW is making because he doesn’t know the JW that well. We’ve talked about getting an apartment together next year without JW.

Here’s the thing. Is it wrong to pray, or ask for in my rosary, that over the course of the next year something will happen that will make the break easier? JW and I were good friends in high school, thought we would be forever, but I just don’t see it happenening anymore (of course there’re other things as well that annoy me other than jokes). Is it wrong to pray that a fight will come about, or that we naturally realize we can’t live together?

Hello Rawb,

Why don’t you give him a copy of your above post? I other words why don’t you explain your situation to him as you have explained it to us?

 

[CARose]

I would not pray for anything negative. I would pray that you will be given assistance in dealing with him. You could ask a priest or other Catholics for ideas on how to react with him. Remember, you are a witness of the faith. Living as a good Catholic is the best example you can give him. Pray for his conversion.

God bless you and I hope it all works out.

Rawb,

I strongly recommend you consider the excellent advice Mary has given you. We should never pray for something that is not good to occur, even in the hope that something better will result, you know well that the End does not justify the means. The prayer you have suggested would be asking for just such a thing.

Jennyr suggests that you take this opportunity to be a living example of Christianity for your friend. This is so true. How God desires to work through you is known only to Him, but I suggest that you can only win by doing your best to continue to extend Christian love to this once good friend of yours.

Teresa of Avila talks of how we can take our daily annoyances and offer them up to God as a way of participating in Christ’s crucifixion.

Did you know that Heaven is said to not be a flat plane, but rather consists of various levels? It is how we conduct ourselves in this life that determines our role in Heaven. How lucky you are to have this opportunity to grow in the grace that will affect your eternity.

If you can strive to accept his insults without bristling, you will be repaid 100 fold in heaven for the charity you show.

God bless,

CARose

 

[I_question_God]

In high school my best friend was a Jehovah’s witness. We’re in college together now, living together with two other guys in an apartment. The thing is, since I’ve become Catholic he’s made a few jokes that I think he doesn’t see as that offensive but I do. If I mention it he wants to get into a theological debate. I can defend my beliefs, but he doesn’t listen to what I’m saying anyway, so it’s pointless. It gets frustrating and I’m tired as it is, I’m in the middle of college!

Another of my roomates is Lutheran, so we get along pretty well because our doctrines are similar. My JW friend has been annoying him as well, but Lutheran doesn’t understand even some of the jokes that JW is making because he doesn’t know the JW that well. We’ve talked about getting an apartment together next year without JW.

Here’s the thing. Is it wrong to pray, or ask for in my rosary, that over the course of the next year something will happen that will make the break easier? JW and I were good friends in high school, thought we would be forever, but I just don’t see it happenening anymore (of course there’re other things as well that annoy me other than jokes). Is it wrong to pray that a fight will come about, or that we naturally realize we can’t live together?

How about instead of praying you actually talk to him about the problem and tell him that you respect him and his beliefs (unless you dont) and to please stop. If it continues to be uncomfortable, which it probably will be because Jehovah Witnesses have a really STRONG faith and only believe in worshipping God ( Jehovah) let him know 3 to 4 months ahead of time that you will be moving out. This way you guys end in peace and he has ample to time to find somewhere to go.~ Sincerely Mua

 

[Rawb]

Why don’t you give him a copy of your above post? I other words why don’t you explain your situation to him as you have explained it to us?

He would tell me that I was being oversensitive, because “you know I’m just joking!”. If you get to serious about anything with him he starts making more jokes, or denying that he’s done anything wrong, or get’s really defensive.

We should never pray for something that is not good to occur, even in the hope that something better will result, you know well that the End does not justify the means. The prayer you have suggested would be asking for just such a thing.

I should have remembered that; it’s one of the things that made me want to come home to Rome.

I have been praying about this (not for a fight anymore but just for something to happen) I’ve started to realize that something more than the jokes are making me very unhappy in that apartment (could be a combination of a lot of things, including jokes). I’ve talked with my parents and they said that I can move back home. So I’m going to move back and tell my roomates that I’ll still help pay for rent for the next two months, but by December I want to know if they want me to help them find a roomate or if they want to split things three ways (which was the original plan until we found someone else to live with us). I talked with my priest and he said that in this situation I need to do what’s best for me (I think because I’m in college and he doesn’t want me to drop out or anything) So I’m going to talk to my roomates this week.

I’ve been a LOT happier since making up my mind to do this. Thanks for replies everyone!