Wrong to want to go to Heaven out of fear?

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a while back i was talking with a friend when she asked me what Heaven was and what would you do there and all I could tell her was that Heaven was being with one with God in a place that was pure love and happiness and infinite knowledge, a place where pain, suffering and sickness no longer exist. Hell would be the absence of God and hope with an eternity of despair and suffering. Then she asked how someone if they were in Heaven could be happy while knowing someone they loved were suffering in Hell? I didn’t have an answer but then i remembered reading something like God would not let you have memories of those people…it seems that article went on to say most relationships you have in this life will be of no importance in the afterlife! This was distressing to me because one of the things that strengthened my faith was the death of my mother and wanting to be reunited with her!

The more I thought about it the whole wanting to go to Heaven and avoid hell is wrong…in fact it seems wrong to want to be a better person and good christian so you go to Heaven because the thought of going to hell is so terrifying, to me the motivation is too selfish to be right. It’s like being good just so you won’t get punished not because its the right thing to do. It got me to thinking and let me know if I am correct nobody gets to heaven even if they are sinless without having a personal and true relationship with God. But God will show mercy to someone that does have a relationship with him even if that person tried to lead a sinless life but failed and was remorseful and asks for forgiveness. I know I am far from perfect as every human is but i talk to the Lord many times everyday asking for his guidance. So I guess because its hard to get a defining answer to what is the Catholic belief on just what Heaven is, will those rewarded with Heaven have relationships with others there? And is it wrong to want to go to Heaven out of fear? Thank you
 
It isn’t wrong to fear Hell, but if your prime motivation for doing ‘good’ is so that you avoid Hell then the motivation is definitely wrong and is selfish.

You should strive to do good purely to do good, and in the knowledge that that is what God wants us to do. It isn’t about following rules, and not doing this and not doing that, in order to ‘earn’ our way into Heaven. It’s not about earning points and avoiding penalty points. Jesus gave us two Great Commandments, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your might, and love your neighbour as yourself”. Strive to do good, without considering any reward, and when your own Day of Judgement comes, as a sinner (as we all are) place yourself at the mercy of Our Lord to do with you as he will.
 
rmsouza said:
a while back i was talking with a friend when she asked me what Heaven was and what would you do there and all I could tell her was that Heaven was being with one with God in a place that was pure love and happiness and infinite knowledge, a place where pain, suffering and sickness no longer exist. Hell would be the absence of God and hope with an eternity of despair and suffering. Then she asked how someone if they were in Heaven could be happy while knowing someone they loved were suffering in Hell? I didn’t have an answer but then i remembered reading something like God would not let you have memories of those people…it seems that article went on to say most relationships you have in this life will be of no importance in the afterlife! This was distressing to me because one of the things that strengthened my faith was the death of my mother and wanting to be reunited with her!

The more I thought about it the whole wanting to go to Heaven and avoid hell is wrong…in fact it seems wrong to want to be a better person and good christian so you go to Heaven because the thought of going to hell is so terrifying, to me the motivation is too selfish to be right. It’s like being good just so you won’t get punished not because its the right thing to do. It got me to thinking and let me know if I am correct nobody gets to heaven even if they are sinless without having a personal and true relationship with God. But God will show mercy to someone that does have a relationship with him even if that person tried to lead a sinless life but failed and was remorseful and asks for forgiveness. I know I am far from perfect as every human is but i talk to the Lord many times everyday asking for his guidance. So I guess because its hard to get a defining answer to what is the Catholic belief on just what Heaven is, will those rewarded with Heaven have relationships with others there? And is it wrong to want to go to Heaven out of fear? Thank you
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Hi rmsouza. Welcome to CAF. I think you’re asking a good question that is a bit difficult to answer, but can I offer a thought?

Is your focus on getting to Heaven, or spending your life with your loving Father?

I think it makes a difference because it can be easy to blur the line sometimes; just focusing on getting to Heaven can set us up for a self-serving end, kind of like a contract.
I will do A,B, and C and God will open the door for me but then what will being there mean for me. It can tend to be about us. What will I do? Who will I see? Who will I talk to? It can easily become focused on us.

The other side of the coin is: I am going to be with My Father. That’s all.
So, read back through each line of your question and honestly ask yourself where you’re thoughts are.

That said, wanting to get to heaven is not a bad thing by itself, but it does show a servile obedience.

A: Dis-obedience = Bad
B: Servile obedience= Better but not perfect
C: Loving obedience = Best

I think we all find ourselves, in different aspects of life, on all three lists (I do!!). We are all on the same journey–hopefully, moving from A or B towards C. You’re not alone.
 
I realize it isn’t a tit for tat…I was brought up with a strong sense of right and wrong I try not to sin because it is how I feel I should live my life…but thing is I get self satisfaction out of that too because with every temptation I avoid the closer to the Lord I feel and with that comes inner peace and contentment
 
rmsouza said:
I realize it isn’t a tit for tat…I was brought up with a strong sense of right and wrong I try not to sin because it is how I feel I should live my life…but thing is I get self satisfaction out of that too because with every temptation I avoid the closer to the Lord I feel and with that comes inner peace and contentment
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I know what you mean. I get that with the praying the liturgy of the hours pretty vividly. That A,B, and C thing is right out there for me. Sometimes I skip - I don’t feel like it, too busy, some other bad excuse I think of. Other times - OK, I have to stop a minute and do this because I’ll feel guilty later. But then, I consistently read about 4 or 5 hours for several days and my days are more peaceful and charity comes out easier. And I know that spending that time every three or so hours praising the Lord, brings that peace, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t ever wake up with another excuse a week later!:o
 
@rmsouza:

You are thinking about it wrong. It’s not that when we get to heaven our earthly relationships with our loved ones will cease to have any meaning, but the communion and fellowship we will have in heaven with each other as we serve our Lord will be beyond our current apprehension, and it will not be limited to our immediate best friends and family members from this life. Love will expand such that everybody will be as the deepest brother and sister with one another. God has promised something immensely greater & more inclusive than merely experiencing the joys of reuniting with the companions of our fleeting earthly life.

Love is an inexhaustible resource. Our love towards one friend is not lessened because we gain another.

Also, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Recognizing God as Judge & Sovereign is the most fundamental first step in our journey and, with prayer and obedience, it grows beyond that, into a loving friendship with our savior. God created Jacob, but he formed Israel (Jacob’s new name).

"But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, Jacob, and formed you, Israel:
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine. When you pass through waters, I will be with you; through rivers, you shall not be swept away. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned, nor will flames consume you. For I, the Lord, am your God, the Holy One of Israel, your savior.
(Isaiah 43)
 
sousley said:
Hi rmsouza. Welcome to CAF. I think you’re asking a good question that is a bit difficult to answer, but can I offer a thought?

Is your focus on getting to Heaven, or spending your life with your loving Father?

I think it makes a difference because it can be easy to blur the line sometimes; just focusing on getting to Heaven can set us up for a self-serving end, kind of like a contract.
I will do A,B, and C and God will open the door for me but then what will being there mean for me. It can tend to be about us. What will I do? Who will I see? Who will I talk to? It can easily become focused on us.

The other side of the coin is: I am going to be with My Father. That’s all.
So, read back through each line of your question and honestly ask yourself where you’re thoughts are.

That said, wanting to get to heaven is not a bad thing by itself, but it does show a servile obedience.

A: Dis-obedience = Bad
B: Servile obedience= Better but not perfect
C: Loving obedience = Best

I think we all find ourselves, in different aspects of life, on all three lists (I do!!). We are all on the same journey–hopefully, moving from A or B towards C. You’re not alone.
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Beautiful explanation - thank you for that!
 
Thanks for the replies I guess I knew the answer…now it is a matter of acting on it!
 
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