WWYD? "Please stand and greet your neighbor."

[Erikaspirit16]

I can see you guys have missed me.

OK, if the issue is (now at least) how to get people interacting more with each other, here is one of my 10 good ideas I mentioned before–

Invite a variety of people to set up a display at a table either in the vestibule (if you have one) or outside. What people, you ask? Well, how about school science fair winners displaying their projects? How about the musicians who play at Mass? How about someone in the parish who has been in the news (we had a Jeopardy winner recently)? How about anyone who might spark some conversation or be genuinely interested in feedback–maybe a social justice group. In our parish there are a lot of Africans–from Africa. They could be at a table to explain how Catholicism works in their home country. How about someone who has a favorite charity (unusual) that they could plug?

The list in infinite. But the point it that it does not interfere with Mass and is outside the nave. Surely everyone at some point would find something interesting enough to wander over and take a look. Then there could be a follow-up activity they could be invited to. The key is personal interaction and inviting people individually. Name tags don’t matter; personal interactions do.

 

[EasterJoy]

Yeah I would have no problem on ministry Sunday to identify someone who is in charge of certain ministries. I definitely want to know the name of the director of chocolate ice cream on the 13th of the month for parishioners named Hoosier ministry.

The *13th *of the month? Okay, we know the guy YOU are!

 

[pnewton]

I’ve heard recently of a diocese in the US that is asking people to attend thier geographical parish. That might change the dynamics of parish social issues.

Sounds like a rumor.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Sounds like a rumor.

I just wondered if there is some reason why people are all leaving their geographical parish and flocking to some other one, like the priest at parish A is controversial or boring or Parish B is involved in some particular activities that draw crowds.

I go to parishes all over the place but I send a large donation to my geographical parish every month even though I’m usually in some other geographic area on the Sunday. So if it’s a matter of donations, it’s easy enough to just send the check to the geographical parish and then just attend where you want/ where you can/ where it is most practical etc.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I just wondered if there is some reason why people are all leaving their geographical parish and flocking to some other one, like the priest at parish A is controversial or boring or Parish B is involved in some particular activities that draw crowds.

I go to parishes all over the place but I send a large donation to my geographical parish every month even though I’m usually in some other geographic area on the Sunday. So if it’s a matter of donations, it’s easy enough to just send the check to the geographical parish and then just attend where you want/ where you can/ where it is most practical etc.

To be fair I had literally never heard of geographical parishes until I frequented these boards, it’s not something I was ever taught in religious education. Except for when I was at university I’ve always attended my nearest church if only because the last thing I need is another commute , is that the same as a geographical parish?

When I was at university off campus it never really occurred to me to go to the local parish church which was presumably a family parish, I travelled to campus to attend mass with my peers and socialize afterwards. My non-Catholic friends often talk of church shopping so it doesn’t surprise me if some Catholics do this.

Erika, I like the idea of a display stand. They do this at my husbands church and it works quite well. It’s allows people to find out more about a ministry without prematurely committing or having to work out the face of a name in the newsletter.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

To be fair I had literally never heard of geographical parishes until I frequented these boards, it’s not something I was ever taught in religious education. Except for when I was at university I’ve always attended my nearest church if only because the last thing I need is another commute , is that the same as a geographical parish?

Usually the geographical parish is the closest one, unless you are on the edge of a parish boundary in which case you might possibly be physically closer to the next church over. You are supposed to register in your geographical parish if you want to send your kids to the Catholic school there (if one exists) or receive sacraments other than the Eucharist or confession; for example, any baptisms of children or adults, or marriages, are supposed to be either done at your geographical parish or, if you want to have this done at a different parish (perhaps because all your relatives live somewhere else) the priest at your geo parish has to give you permission to go somewhere else and you take the permission form to the priest in the other parish to ask if you can be married there or whatever. You are also expected to financially support your geo parish.

There are also “ethnic parishes” which are designated to serve a particular nationality. Often these occur when the parish originally served a particular ethnic group who lived in the neighborhood but have since mostly moved away, but the people who moved still want to support the church and its ethnic heritage.

When I was at university off campus it never really occurred to me to go to the local parish church which was presumably a family parish, I travelled to campus to attend mass with my peers and socialize afterwards.

When I was in college, the Newman Center which was set up for the students was very modern - a big empty space for worship - and very heavily focused on social justice causes like anti-nuclear, which not all of us students were ready to embrace. I was having enough culture shock with college, without having to adjust to what seemed like a weird church very different from my parish at home. So a lot of us students went to the nice old Italian parish church a mile up the road because we wanted something more traditional that felt like the old churches we attended at home with our parents. I see this still going on in my old college town and I also see it in the college town where I work now, that has a Newman Center about a mile away from a historic old parish church.

My non-Catholic friends often talk of church shopping so it doesn’t surprise me if some Catholics do this.

While some Catholics “church shop”, for many it is more a matter of something like convenient Mass or sacrament times. For example, I have gone to about a dozen of the Catholic churches near my workplace because one has perpetual adoration, two of them have confessions at times other than Saturday afternoon, two others have Masses in the late evening on Sunday, another is the Latino parish with special celebrations for Our Lady of Guadalupe and other Mexican saints’ days. When my elderly parent was alive, the Mass times at her parish church became too difficult for her to attend because she took a long time to wake up and get ready in the morning so we had to go to another parish where they had a much later Mass.

Plus there is just the curiosity of driving past a Catholic church all the time and wondering what it is like inside. Several of the Catholic churches in my area are historic (one is the oldest in the state), so the buildings are interesting to see and attend a Mass in. There was a group in my hometown doing a “Mass Mob” for a while where a bunch of Catholics would get together on Sunday every few weeks and attend different churches in the diocese, to better appreciate all the different parishes and their history and meet new people. You get the same Mass and sacraments wherever you go, so why not expand your horizons a bit.

 

[pnewton]

Usually the geographical parish is the closest one, unless you are on the edge of a parish boundary in which case you might possibly be physically closer to the next church over. You are supposed to register in your geographical parish if you want to send your kids to the Catholic school there (if one exists) or receive sacraments other than the Eucharist or confession; for example, any baptisms of children or adults, or marriages, are supposed to be either done at your geographical parish or, if you want to have this done at a different parish (perhaps because all your relatives live somewhere else) the priest at your geo parish has to give you permission to go somewhere else and you take the permission form to the priest in the other parish to ask if you can be married there or whatever. You are also expected to financially support your geo parish. .

We do not have that here. One can register, support and receive sacraments through one’s own parish, whether it is the geographical parish or not. If my parish were to lose those who had to attend the geographical parish, we would lose three out of four musicians who would then have to go where they are not needed, a neighboring upper class parish. School is not really relevant to us as the Catholic School is regional and independent from any parish.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

We do not have that here. One can register, support and receive sacraments through one’s own parish, whether it is the geographical parish or not. If my parish were to lose those who had to attend the geographical parish, we would lose three out of four musicians who would then have to go where they are not needed, a neighboring upper class parish. School is not really relevant to us as the Catholic School is regional and independent from any parish.

The school thing is becoming less relevant generally as more and more “parish schools” have consolidated with several other parishes. However, in some areas where there is a heavy concentration of Catholics and others wishing to attend a certain school, the students from the parish or parishes closest to the school might get some preference. It depends on the school.

How does your area set up parishes, then, if you don’t do “geographical parishes”? Do people just pick the parish they want? In the major cities where I have lived, there is usually a map of “parish boundaries” online that shows where parish A ends and parish B begins. Some churches will accept you as parishioner regardless of whether you live outside the boundary, but this is up to the church; all of them will welcome you to Mass, Holy Communion, Eucharist, and social activities without caring what parish you’re in, but anything beyond that (such as lay ministry, marriage, a funeral) probably has to be discussed with the priest.

 

[SuperLuigi]

If someone doesn’t stand to greet you or shake your hand in Church, don’t take it personally.

I think some folks are too fragile and need to lighten—and toughen—up a bit.

 

[pnewton]

How does your area set up parishes, then, if you don’t do “geographical parishes”? Do people just pick the parish they want?

Yes, pretty much. The diocesan parish locator is just a map with point plotted on it. I have no idea if this is how it works everywhere, just that there is no issue in my area with receiving the sacrament or registering in any parish.

 

[revert_jen]

Yes, pretty much. The diocesan parish locator is just a map with point plotted on it. I have no idea if this is how it works everywhere, just that there is no issue in my area with receiving the sacrament or registering in any parish.

I’m reasonably sure that each normal parish has boundaries.

Can. 518 As a general rule a parish is to be territorial, that is, one which includes all the Christian faithful of a certain territory. When it is expedient, however, personal parishes are to be established determined by reason of the rite, language, or nationality of the Christian faithful of some territory, or even for some other reason.

But there is a difference between not having a geographical parish, and nobody caring whether you register at it. I know what my geographical parish is, and I haven’t been there for years. I am registered at a different parish, and even the Bishop’s fund-raising letters list me as being in the parish at which I am registered. Whether anyone cares where you register (since registration is apparently not mentioned in canon law) appears to depend on what diocese you are in. I happen to be in one where you can register where you want, and you appear to be in one too.

There is never any problem receiving the Eucharist or going to Confession in any parish you like. The sacrament where it really matters is marriage. It appears that if you get married in another parish without at least informing the pastor of your geographical parish (assuming you aree not being married by your local bishop, which would make it fine), your marriage may not be valid (The Form of the Celebration of Marriage). Of course, the pastor of whatever parish you are at would probably take care of it for you so it wouldn’t be a big deal, but it could be a big deal if he forgot!

–Jen

 

[EasterJoy]

I’m reasonably sure that each normal parish has boundaries.

But there is a difference between not having a geographical parish, and nobody caring whether you register at it. I know what my geographical parish is, and I haven’t been there for years. I am registered at a different parish, and even the Bishop’s fund-raising letters list me as being in the parish at which I am registered. Whether anyone cares where you register (since registration is apparently not mentioned in canon law) appears to depend on what diocese you are in. I happen to be in one where you can register where you want, and you appear to be in one too.

There is never any problem receiving the Eucharist or going to Confession in any parish you like. The sacrament where it really matters is marriage. It appears that if you get married in another parish without at least informing the pastor of your geographical parish (assuming you aree not being married by your local bishop, which would make it fine), your marriage may not be valid (The Form of the Celebration of Marriage). Of course, the pastor of whatever parish you are at would probably take care of it for you so it wouldn’t be a big deal, but it could be a big deal if he forgot!

–Jen

Robert Frost wrote, “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, /They have to take you in.” Your geographic parish is just that kind of a place, whether your “register” or not.

It does make the jobs of parish secretaries easier if we comply with the request to register at the parish we call home. That’s a good enough reason.

As for shaking hands, it kind of falls under the same category. You can tell the pastor you don’t like it, you can know it is an inconvenience and an interruption of a window of time you hold dear, but in the end if your pastor or his deputy asks you to do it, you really ought to cheerfully comply, even if you register your discontent later.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I’ve never experienced it either. Not even after I moved back home and had been away from this parish for well over 25 years. Maybe I’m just too focused on the Liturgy to be concerned with the facial expressions of everyone around me.

I don’t go in for facial expression reading myself, to be honest I’m not that good at it, it’s more that it’s awkward not having any Catholic friends. It’s very uncomfortable when it comes up in conversation, I was at one parish for 5 years and even did children’s ministry and people couldn’t believe that I still felt like a stranger at church. When I was confirmed the teacher had to be my sponsor which was humiliating.