Well, since they’re into sharing the news in such a way that it encourages others to accept this as the obvious and only thing to do when you’ve reached a certain number of children, you can always use a secular counter example, if you don’t want to get into the whole Catholic thing.
Dr. Phil has talked openly and honestly about the fact that he had a vasectomy after their first child was born and his wife wanted more children. It took many years for him to understand that he was not being open to her and her desires in their marital bed because of his unilateral move. He had the painful surgery to reverse it and they were then blessed with their second child.
What he learned, without the benefit of the teachings of the Catholic Church to help him avoid his error, is that he did a grave error to his wife and his marriage. He also learned that it can be extremely difficult, expensive and painful to undo a vasectomy after it’s been done.
You could also say something as innocent as “Oh, I know you guys have been talking about these so nonchalontly, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do if my husband were to tell me he wanted one. I’d feel as though he were holding out on me in the bedroom. I want to know we can have more children if and when we’re meant to, until my body no longer allows us that option.” or something to that effect.
You can say something, and having the courage to do so lets those who aren’t ready to talk about it but considering getting one know that there is another way to look at it. You may find, that once you voice another opinion, that many of the wives actually secretly regret what’s been done, but can’t say so in the face of common wisdom telling them they’re wrong to feel that way. In hearing the regrets that can come from such a course, there are those who can still be spared the grief.
God bless you in whatever course you take,
CARose
It is by far the biggest regret we have to date. Back then , we were not deep rooted in our faith. All our other “catholic” friends talked about having this done like they were talking about the weather.
