Yes? No? Maybe?

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aroosi

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My career was interrupted abruptly years ago. I certainly made some mistakes (I was really naive) but three people were strongly involved in creating the odd situation that drove me in a professional dead end. Let’s call them A, B and C.
A is the one that ‘killed me’ professionally, still works in the same company as manager, rumors say at some point after I left praised my work to the managers in a public meeting (talk about hypocrisy ) but never apologized or contacted me.
B changed job shortly after, somehow tried unsuccessfully to help me reenter the field but was the one who started all the mess.
C is still at the same company, hated A but now is a manager at the same level of A, briefly contacted me after few years to congratulate about the birth of my child.
Now, after years, B suddenly popped up and wants to organize a lunch meeting with me and C. C is open to the idea but very cautious, I replied very vaguely to the invitation. Now B is getting pushy about it.
B is very manipulative and I don’t know what are B’s plans. I created for myself a totally different life but sometimes I itch to go back in my professional field.
Should I go to the lunch or just find a polite way out?
 
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I would be suspicious of B judging from what you wrote. If C is still at the same company, and had contacted you a few years ago on the birth of your child - and B isn’t with the company (changed jobs you said) then it seems you could contact C yourself if you wanted back in the company and that profession. From what I see, if you wanted to go back, C would be your contact and B isn’t even in the equation. Perhaps B is going to try to get you and C to jump ship and start up something with them.
 
I would avoid meeting with both of them. Neither sounds like a friend. And neither sound like they can be trusted.
 
I would like to go back in my field but not in that specific company. The problem is that is a very small world so rumors, gossip etc fly very fast in the field. I know well enough B to say that doesn’t do the smallest move if there is not some kind of return involved. That’s scary because so far I cannot guess what B has in mind.
 
Well, then I definitely would stay away. They can’t say anything about you if you don’t talk to them.

Unless they outright lie.
 
Yup, I think it would be very hard to meet them for lunch avoiding to say anything important or stupid. No way we are going to talk for two hours about the weather…
 
Yes, and no way they just suddenly want to meet for lunch as just friends.

I think you should try to get back into your field without their help.

And without helping them out, 😏
 
Definitely find a polite way out. All that drama isn’t worth it.
 
Was it made clear to you that the ‘meeting’ had to with work? With the particular job that B left? If it’s an unspecified work opportunity, I’d be afraid of it’s being a MLM job recruitment. (Years ago, Amway was the big name there; now there are many such groups, with various levels of legality). Something that would be worthwhile skipping!
 
The invitation was generic but these people are not really in my circle of friends anymore and the only thing we have in common now is that we all worked in the same place. I hope is not a MLM (we worked in a totally different field) but right now I am glad we didn’t meet yet.
 
Do you want to go back to work with them? Is there any benefit in associating with them?
 
Some of the best advice a professional mentor gave me was "stay out of your own head. 99.999999999999% of the time, people are not thinking about/talking about you as much as you think they are. Most of the time, people are thinking about themselves, and how they can advance themselves.

So, leave all of the past drama aside. Walk in and expect grown ups to behave in a professional manner. If it devolves into high school drama, simply excuse yourself and leave.
 
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