Yet another confession question

[BrownR]

Do those of you that confess regularly and hold nothing back, do so with any trepidation when you end up confessing the same sins over and over? I’m not making an excuse for certain sins per say, simply saying that all of us probably struggle with certain sins more than others, and the chances are that if I did a very regular confession, I would end up talking about certain sins much more than others. It’s not an excuse for not “changing” certain sins, simply a pragmatic observation that none of us are sinless, definitely sin, and probably have a tendency to commit certain sins over others. I’m also grouping mortal and venial together here since I’m sure that most people confess both during confession.

I can’t figure out if I’m supposed to feel an inordinate amount of guilt for mentioning some of the same things repeatedly, or if I should just feel good for at least trying to go to confession regularly and more frequently?

If you haven’t guessed, I’m a new Catholic, so I’ve only been to 2 confessions so far. I may be the odd man out in that I actually tend to enjoy confession so far. I find it to be rather cathartic and generally “feel better” after confession even if I didn’t necessarily have a great deal to talk about from a week or two ago. Then again, it might just be the nouveau aspect of the sacrament in that I’m finally able to experience it.

 

[hilde_the_dog]

Trepidation? No. Disgust with committing the same sins yes. It something to work on and pay attention for and pray. I love confession althogh I despise sinning. I too am relatively new Catholic. I joined four years ago. And with that confession starts in a half hour and I must go because I messed up again.

 

[Andreas_Hofer]

I think if you’re healthy in other ways and are adding frequent confession on top of it, you might confess certain things over and over but you’ll notice that this list of “regulars” slowly shifts to reflect higher and higher moral standards, as the graces conferred by the sacrament (in concert with others) slowly transform you. If you do find that there is a particular sin that shows up every time with frequent confession (it’s not as surprising if a lie shows up once every six months as once a week), this would be something about which to ask the priest for specific guidance.

On the whole, the frequent recurrence of a sin is indeed a type of red flag, but there is a whole host of other factors that should be considered in order to weigh just how disconcerting the recurrence of this particular sin should be in regards to your spiritual life as a whole.

 

[BrownR]

Well, I guess that’s where my confusion lies. I seem to run across two types of Catholics where confession is concerned. Those who seem to think that “mortal sins” of the gravest matter are the ones that you only need to worry about, and they tend to think that a good confession once or twice a year should do it. Others seem to believe in monthly or even weekly confessions. Does that mean that the weekly confessors are that much more sinful than the once a year crowd? Surely not. If not, then what exactly are they confessing? If they’ve got sins to confess, surely they are repeating some of these sins a great many times. Either that or they are some very creative sinners who create new sins just as soon as they get a handle on old ones.

 

[BrownR]

And furthermore, what exactly is a priests responsibilities during confession? Is he to simply be more concerned with listening, providing guidance, and ultimately absolving their sins, or is he supposed to “crack the whip” on those that seem to be repeating the same ones? Does he even expect this, I wonder?

 

[hilde_the_dog]

BrownR

When I joined the Church I went about every four months and over time the pace picked up until I became a reader. Well at that point I said to myself if I’m going to stnad in front of church and read the scriptures or lead the prayer of the faithful, I best have a clean soul or as clean as possible. So now at a minimum I go twice a month. Those who go frequenly I believe tend to examine their lives more closely, and desire to really change. Now changing bad habits can be hard and my take awhile, but ultimately its worth it. God knows we are not perfect, rather He wants us to have faith in Him and try our best to not sin.

Not being a priest but I would suspect mostly the first scenario

 

[baltobetsy]

Frequent confession raises your standards. Each of us has certain sins we struggle with. Some of them are very obvious to us, even as we begin our spiritual journey. By the grace of God, and with the help of the Sacrament of Penance, we may eventually conquer these big sins. At the same time, our “spiritual eyesight” improves, and we begin to notice that some things we’ve always done are not right, so we begin to confess those things, and we may conquer them, with God’s help. This process repeats itself for the rest of our lives. We grow in grace and become more like Christ.

If you confess to the same priest every time, eventually he will become familiar with you and your struggles, and will be able to give you good guidance. They generally don’t “crack the whip” unless they sense that you are not really trying. And, even then, each one has his own way, and many will simply continue to encourage you, rather than becoming stern.

I encourage you to continue to confess regularly - it’s a wonderful Sacrament. And I’d like to recommend a very good book that I think will interest you, in light of the questions you bring up here. The book is Frequent Confession, and the author is Benedict Baur. I know you can find it in the bookstore section of www.cicdc.org. Anything you find there is good and reliable, actually. Here’s a link to the book itself.

Betsy

 

[RWMorris]

I’ve noticed that in going to frequent confession I tend not to repeat certain sins because I get sick and tired of confessing them! Asking for the Holy Spirit’s help in avoiding our chronic sins is a huge help.
Of course, my priest is very forgiving of all my transgressions and doesn’t give me a hard time , in fact, he is the easiest priest I’ve ever had for giving penance.

 

[BrownR]

Thanks for the comments, that helps to clarify a few things for me.

Baltobetsy: Thanks for the book link, that looks to be exactly what I need. I’ve put it on my book wish list for when I get some more free time.

 

[Andreas_Hofer]

Frequent confession raises your standards. Each of us has certain sins we struggle with. Some of them are very obvious to us, even as we begin our spiritual journey. By the grace of God, and with the help of the Sacrament of Penance, we may eventually conquer these big sins. At the same time, our “spiritual eyesight” improves, and we begin to notice that some things we’ve always done are not right, so we begin to confess those things, and we may conquer them, with God’s help. This process repeats itself for the rest of our lives. We grow in grace and become more like Christ.

Right on! It’s not that those who confess frequently sin more, the progress made through frequent recourse to the sacrament simply helps them discern issues that tend to get overlooked when one is struggling with more serious sins.

 

[jmcrae]

Well, I guess that’s where my confusion lies. I seem to run across two types of Catholics where confession is concerned. Those who seem to think that “mortal sins” of the gravest matter are the ones that you only need to worry about, and they tend to think that a good confession once or twice a year should do it. Others seem to believe in monthly or even weekly confessions. Does that mean that the weekly confessors are that much more sinful than the once a year crowd? Surely not. If not, then what exactly are they confessing? If they’ve got sins to confess, surely they are repeating some of these sins a great many times. Either that or they are some very creative sinners who create new sins just as soon as they get a handle on old ones.

As someone who makes relatively frequent use of the Confessional, I’d like to say that, first of all, frequent Confession is the only remedy that actually works in breaking bad habits.

Secondly, yes, there are sins that recurr - losing one’s temper (ever found yourself screaming insults at an inanimate object such as a car or computer? This is what they call “valid matter” for the Confessional. And of course if you are screaming at living beings, then you need to go to Confession.), participating in gossip, driving inattentively, various acts of pride and selfishness that can occur throughout any normal day, etc.

 

[JimG]

Do those of you that confess regularly and hold nothing back, do so with any trepidation when you end up confessing the same sins over and over?

No, I am just thankful that I have not come up with new and different ways to sin since the last confession.

 

[RSulli]

This is an excellent question I think. And the responses have been helpful to me. When I commit the same sin over and over again my feelings tend toward the dark side. Discouragement is always a difficult one. I tend to think at times, whats the use, I will only fail again. Then the big one. Whats the matter with me? This apostolic guidance really helped me. God made you and loves you the way you are. He has a specific plan for all creation including you no matter your failings. Just keep plugging away at doing the right thing and let God take care of the rest. I love that thought. It takes much of the unnecessary pressure away.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Its said that some of the saints struggled throughout their life against one temptation.

So, it also common for all of us to struggle against the same temptations and failures.

I asked my confessor about this, especially when I became aware that I had overcome one temptation that was plaguing me for many years, only to have it replaced with a new temptation and sin.

He explained that as long as we are on this earth, we will have to suffer against temptations and that the evil one, will bring the ones we’re weakest against.

Going to confession regularly and of course praying, is the road to overcoming sin.

Jim