Young collision victim

[runningdude]

I recently aided at a horrific accident scene where a young women was ejected from the vehicle, while her boyfriend (who wore his seatbelt), sustained only minor injuries and was able to attend to her. While we kept her breathing until the EMT’s came, she did not make it once at the hospital.

While I would like first and foremost request prayers for this young couple, I would also like advice for myself. I participated in the worst 10 minutes of their life, and one of the worst of my own at that scene. While I am coping, I am in this strange position of grieving a stranger. I don’t want any recognition or praise, but would it be appropriate to reach out to the victims, particularly the boyfriend, and offer my condolences and reassurances that he did all he could have after the accident from what I observed?

I thank you for prayers and advice.

-RD

 

[tawny]

Praying for the repose of her soul. Praying for her friends health & recovery. Praying for both of their families. Praying for your intentions as well.

 

[DoGodsBidding]

Gracious and merciful Father, please come to their assistance.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.
Amen.

 

[HouseArrest]

Thank you for coming here and for sharing this awful and tragic story.

Of course you are grieving! That is not strange, that means you are a kind human being with a heart. You witnessed a horrible accident and a young woman lose her life, you also saw a young man lose a woman that he loved. People cry at movies when this sort of thing happens, you saw this happen for real, you saw a woman in pain right before she lost her life that is awful and frightening I am so sorry.

I have family members that have helped at accident scenes and they have had memories of that for years and years, please know this will perhaps have a huge impact on you for the rest of your life even. It doesn’t have to be negative, it can be a call to prayer for you for sure but it is clear that you already know that.

It is of course appropriate for you to reach out to this young man. Show him that you care, attend her funeral if you can and visit her family and offer your sympathy to them as well. I am so sorry that this happened and will pray for you. It is obvious that you are not seeking a pat on the back for yourself, however you were likely somewhat traumatized by being at this moment of deep sorrow and pain and probably felt helpless wanting to do something for these people. I will pray for you that somehow you can find a sense of peace as well, knowing that you probably did all that you could to help.

I agree with Monica. You met under strange and tragic circumstances, but you met nonetheless. You are the only other person who experienced what happened during the time period after the accident. I think it would be beneficial to the boyfriend for you to go to the funeral and/or visit. It would most likely benefit you as well.

Prayers for you!

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

Yes. They may be too wrapped up in their own grief to thank you profusely. But if they do, it will be humble of you to graciously accept their thanks. They may feel a strong need to thank the person who was there, and they might feel better being able to do that.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Perhaps go to the hospital and ask them to pass on a card with your name and number. That way, the boyfriend will not feel ‘put on the spot’ and he will contact you if he is OK with it.

Of course most people will encourage you to reach out. After all, it is the nice thing to do. Unfortunately, you do not know this man and you do not know how he will react. Not only that, but even if you did know this man, grief makes people behave not like themselves. Reach out gently and let this guy have an easy out

Angie

 

[runningdude]

Perhaps go to the hospital and ask them to pass on a card with your name and number. That way, the boyfriend will not feel ‘put on the spot’ and he will contact you if he is OK with it.

Of course most people will encourage you to reach out. After all, it is the nice thing to do. Unfortunately, you do not know this man and you do not know how he will react. Not only that, but even if you did know this man, grief makes people behave not like themselves. Reach out gently and let this guy have an easy out

Angie

Thank you for your common sense advise here. I was trying to think of the best way to reach out. I suppose being gentle and asking permission to share first is best. I happened to find his profile on Facebook; if I explain that I got his name from the news and offer a simple initial message of condolence, do you think that would be appropriate?

Yes. They may be too wrapped up in their own grief to thank you profusely. But if they do, it will be humble of you to graciously accept their thanks. They may feel a strong need to thank the person who was there, and they might feel better being able to do that.

I think I would fully accept that mindset. Another passerby who stopped flagged me down as I walked to my car, blessing me for stopping. I was still shaking and barley comprehended his thanks. It must be so much worse for them. If they do offer thanks, I guess I should accept that I did something praiseworthy, and graciously accept as you suggest.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Thank you for your common sense advise here. I was trying to think of the best way to reach out. I suppose being gentle and asking permission to share first is best. I happened to find his profile on Facebook; if I explain that I got his name from the news and offer a simple initial message of condolence, do you think that would be appropriate?

.

I am the wrong person to answer about Facebook. I would NOT go near FB with a 10 foot poll. And honestly, I would worry who else would see it? Can you send a private message?

 

[runningdude]

I am the wrong person to answer about Facebook. I would NOT go near FB with a 10 foot poll. And honestly, I would worry who else would see it? Can you send a private message?

Oh, I would definitely use the private message system, and my initial message wouldn’t be too personal. Facebook, still, is the devil I know.