Younger son with mental health problems

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Mamamull

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We adopted Malachi when he was just shy of turning 5. He has lots of issues - nice way of saying problems - he has been diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder. He is noncompliant with his meds and then we suffer from him being crankier

He is 12 now - and adolescence isn’t helping with his anger and other personality problems. 😦

We need prayers and I need a place to express my frustration at his contrariness and dishonesty and… 😊
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I’m praying for you and your son, for sure.

Safe to assume that he is getting some counseling?
 
He is “non-compliant with his meds”?
He is a 12-year old child?

I believe the responsibility is 100% upon the parents to plan, monitor, time and administer his medications - all day, every day.

Many responsible adults with severe mental health disorders who WANT to be compliant with their meds still find it incredibly difficult to stay on track due to the disorienting effect of their disease. Heavens, you cannot expect a 12-year old child to take such responsibility.

I’m sure it’s not easy for you as parents, but you pretty much must give your child 24-hour supervision at this age, along with a regimented, systematic home life, which will help him feel less paranoid and calmer.
 
Mamamull said:
We adopted Malachi when he was just shy of turning 5. He has lots of issues - nice way of saying problems - he has been diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder. He is noncompliant with his meds and then we suffer from him being crankier

He is 12 now - and adolescence isn’t helping with his anger and other personality problems. 😦

We need prayers and I need a place to express my frustration at his contrariness and dishonesty and… 😊
Thanks for being here
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Praying for you and your son.

My own son was not adopted, but had a “difficult” personality from quite young - **extremely **stubborn and prone to temper tantrums. He also struggled at school and never did more than the bare minimum and his self esteem suffered from poor grades. His early teens were particularly difficult with lying, stealing and losing and breaking things. He took more of my care than the two older children put together. I often felt like my efforts were wasted, but from time to time I’d see just a little progress. He got an apprenticeship soon out of school and discovered a work ethic. Now he is in his twenties, and is a delightful person and very well balanced and capable for person his age.

Some assets he had from an early age were being good at sport, computer games and music. I feel that this protected his self esteem, and also gave him social skills and confidence which compensated for other problems. If he hadn’t had these skill I suspect he would have had a much harder time of it.

I am divorced, and I had custody of the children as a single father. I believe that my son suffered a lot from deprivation of maternal affection in early childhood and up to the divorce when he was five, and that the years of being raised by me were mostly given to undoing the damage of those first five years. This has never been professionally diagnosed, but is my best take on the situation. If your adopted son suffered from a neglectful mother then there may be some similarities. If the long term outcome is as good as mine has been, then you can be optimistic!
 
My heart & prayers go out to you. I see you posted a year ago. What is the situation now he is 13? First remember you have done all you can for him. God asked you to take him on when he was 5 years old - already formed &( damaged?) You said Yes to that request just as Mary did at the Annunciation. God is gratful to uou for that. Just as Mary was not spared the sorrow of seeingher son suffer you are not being spared. Mary did not know the reason she & her son had to suffer so (though she does now) so you do not understand why you and your sone have to suffer in this way but you will! He is only on loan to you. He belongs ultimately to Jesus and Mary. Just consecrate yourself to Jesus & Mary . Just say each morning "Help us through this day. Be our Mother & Father. May your love give us the strength to help each other. For the sake of His sorrowful passion have mercy on us and on the whole world.’ (And if you cannot sleep at night say this last sentence over & over in your mind. You WILL both receive peace. God Bless you all. I am going straight to Mass and will pray for you both there.Claire 0202
 
Mamamull said:
We adopted Malachi when he was just shy of turning 5. He has lots of issues - nice way of saying problems - he has been diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder. He is noncompliant with his meds and then we suffer from him being crankier

He is 12 now - and adolescence isn’t helping with his anger and other personality problems. 😦

We need prayers and I need a place to express my frustration at his contrariness and dishonesty and… 😊
Thanks for being here
Click to expand...
You have my prayers. Our younger son went through a very difficult puberty with lying, stealing, rebellion, fornication, porn use, you name it. His girlfriend even reported us to CPS for abuse, since he called her and made up stories every time we tried to discipline him in any way. Testosterone is like throwing gasoline on a fire for teenage boys.

Is your son in any sports at all? Does he do anything physical? Have any physical chores alongside his dad? I would highly recommend physical activity and or exercise, preferably in the company of his dad or an excellent role model such as an uncle or an older cousin. Sometimes one step removed from the parents will be easier for the young man to deal with.

Please try to keep him limited on violent video games. Keep him as busy as possible and whatever very physical activities you can find that he will cooperate with, use those to modulate the use of that male hormone in his system. Remember, a tired puppy is a happy puppy!

🙂

Please stay in close contact with his doctors and therapists. They need to know exactly what is going on with him so they can work on med balances, etc.

God bless all of you, you will be in my prayers.
 
Mamamull said:
We adopted Malachi when he was just shy of turning 5. He has lots of issues - nice way of saying problems - he has been diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder. He is noncompliant with his meds and then we suffer from him being crankier

He is 12 now - and adolescence isn’t helping with his anger and other personality problems. 😦

We need prayers and I need a place to express my frustration at his contrariness and dishonesty and… 😊
Thanks for being here
Click to expand...
God bless you for taking care of a young man like this. Though there are huge challenges, I hope that you can see what good you are doing.
 
Sounds like my son. 😦

I wish I had some wisdom for you. Just know you’re not alone and I’ll keep you in prayers. :hug1:
 
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