Your experience with Pastoral Care Workers

[Jade]

I was wondering if you have had expirence with pastoral care workers and what you liked about their approch with you and where you thought they can improve.

I ask this because I am almost finished a course in Pastoral Care, and I would like to become involved in this ministry. Any tips or do’s or don’ts that may not be covered in a course?

Thanks for your advice!

Jade

 

[ames61]

okay, showing my ignorance—What is a Pastoral Care Worker?

amy

 

[contemplative]

ames61:

okay, showing my ignorance—What is a Pastoral Care Worker?

amy

Amy,
Aren’t you lucky! Ignorance is bliss sometimes. The female pastoral care giver is like &%#&%!! around here and they rule the roost too. Lucky for me and all of us I have to log out and run.
Perhaps someone else should give (name removed by moderator)ut?

 

[Jade]

Hello Amy!

To my understanding, a Pastoral Care Worker is one who visits the sick and elderly in both their homes and in hospital and/or care facilities. They may also bring Communion to those who are unable to go to Mass if they are so qualified.
They are there to listen and speak and pray (if the person so desires) with those they minister to, hopefully befriending them, letting them know that they are not forgotten, but valued and loved.

And hello to you too Contemplative!
I’m sorry that you have/had a unpleasent expirence with a Pastoral Care Worker. If you wouldn’t mind, what do/did they do that you found bothered you? What do/did they do that you like?
The purpose of this thread, as I have stated in my original question, is that I can avoid making a lot of the mistakes that others have done.
I believe that done right, Pastoral Care is an invaluable ministry.

Hope that helps Amy!

Jade.

 

[ames61]

Thanks Jade & Contemplative. I was hoping it was something like you described, Jade, and afraid it was something like Contemplative described.

I guess I was afraid it would be someone who saw the Church’s authentic need for lay involvement as an opportunity to go beyond the authentic need, and attempt to usurp some of the authority and ministry which rightly belongs to the priest or deacon.

Amy

 

[RichT]

ames61:

Thanks Jade & Contemplative. I was hoping it was something like you described, Jade, and afraid it was something like Contemplative described.

I guess I was afraid it would be someone who saw the Church’s authentic need for lay involvement as an opportunity to go beyond the authentic need, and attempt to usurp some of the authority and ministry which rightly belongs to the priest or deacon.

Amy

Unfortunately this will always happen with some people. I am a minister of care, same thing basically, and I am always careful not to overstep my boundaries. You have to be wise and pick the service you feel comfortable with. For me, taking communion to the patients at the local hospital is easy. It is usually a very quick service read from a little booklet. There is sometime a little talking, but usually not much. Now lately, I have been helping do a communion service at a local mental hospital for about 30-40 patients. In this setting we actually read the gospel from the previous Sunday and give a short reflection of the gospel, usually something from the homily we heard. This can be a litle un-nerving sometimes as mental patients have a habit of asking questions throughout the reflection part.

This is has been a great experience for me, and again keep in mind that there are those who will use this opportunity to go above and beyond what the job calls for. I think the best remedy for that is good training and having a leader is solidly grounded in their faith with a good understanding of what the limits are.

 

[reen12]

Dear RichT,

Sounds like you’re doing fine work and valuable
service.

“This can be a litle un-nerving sometimes as mental patients have a habit of asking questions throughout the reflection part.”
quote, RichT

Thought you might like to know that I was a patient
on a psychiatric unit for 12 days. I might have
mumbled a thing or two myself, in the midst of
the reflection part in those days.

The big thing is, no matter how ill I was at that
time, and even if I was unfocused enough to
interupt the reflection…a part of me would have
noticed that you were there. And that part of
me would thank you deeply for “being there”
for me and my confreres.

“Come ye blessed of My Kingdom,
For I was sick, and you visited me.
You dealt with feeling un-nerved and
and stayed, and so made me feel less isolated…”

God bless you, RichT
reen12

PS: You might find it valuable in your work to
read the book The Quiet Room, by Lori Schiller.
It deals with the experiences of a young woman who
found herself dealing with schizophrenia at age 17, and
her eventual triumph and management of her condition.

 

[RichT]

reen12:

Dear RichT,

Sounds like you’re doing fine work and valuable
service.

“This can be a litle un-nerving sometimes as mental patients have a habit of asking questions throughout the reflection part.”
quote, RichT

Thought you might like to know that I was a patient
on a psychiatric unit for 12 days. I might have
mumbled a thing or two myself, in the midst of
the reflection part in those days.

The big thing is, no matter how ill I was at that
time, and even if I was unfocused enough to
interupt the reflection…a part of me would have
noticed that you were there. And that part of
me would thank you deeply for “being there”
for me and my confreres.

“Come ye blessed of My Kingdom,
For I was sick, and you visited me.
You dealt with feeling un-nerved and
and stayed, and so made me feel less isolated…”

God bless you, RichT
reen12

PS: You might find it valuable in your work to
read the book The Quiet Room, by Lori Schiller.
It deals with the experiences of a young woman who
found herself dealing with schizophrenia at age 17, and
her eventual triumph and management of her condition.

Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope I didn’t say anything bad, perhaps what I should have said was that these particular patients like to ask a lot of questions. It almost became a bible study. I was just showing some differences in the different places I visit. I actually had a great experience with these people as it became quite obvious that regardless of their afliction they really wanted and needed to be touched by God.

Anyway, bless you for your post and the book recommendation! I hope all is well with your life now and I will say a prayer for you.

 

[contemplative]

Jade:

And hello to you too Contemplative!
I’m sorry that you have/had a unpleasent expirence with a Pastoral Care Worker. If you wouldn’t mind, what do/did they do that you found bothered you? What do/did they do that you like?

All the good things female pastoral assistants offer in my diocese are cancelled out by a few bad things.

• Serving up homilies while the pastor sits and listens
• Leading communion services complete with their homilies and vestments reserved for priests. (one time a female pastoral walked out - I first wondered who the new priest was!!! UGHHH!! I quickly realized he was she with short hair!!!) During communion services some sit in the seat reserved for the priest.
• Behaving like priests in general.

If I never see a female assistant in my life I’ll be very happy.

 

[contemplative]

Jade:

And hello to you too Contemplative!
I’m sorry that you have/had a unpleasent expirence with a Pastoral Care Worker. If you wouldn’t mind, what do/did they do that you found bothered you? What do/did they do that you like?

All the good things female pastoral assistants offer in my diocese are cancelled out by a few bad things.

• Serving up homilies while the pastor sits and listens
• Leading communion services complete with their homilies and vestments reserved for priests. (one time a female pastoral walked out I first wondered who the new priest was!!! UGHHH!! I quickly realized he was she with short hair!!!) During communion services some sit in the seat reserved for the priest.
• Behaving like priests in general.

If I never see a female assistant in my life I’ll be very happy.

 

[RichT]

contemplative:

All the good things female pastoral assistants offer in my diocese are cancelled out by a few bad things.

• Serving up homilies while the pastor sits and listens
• Leading communion services complete with their homilies and vestments reserved for priests. (one time a female pastoral walked out I first wondered who the new priest was!!! UGHHH!! I quickly realized he was she with short hair!!!) During communion services some sit in the seat reserved for the priest.
• Behaving like priests in general.

If I never see a female assistant in my life I’ll be very happy.

Umm, I thought we were talking about pastoral cares workers, as in those who take the Eucharist to the homebound and the sick. Am I missing something?

 

[magdaline]

Pastoral Care is serving the homebound, those in nursing homes, grief support, helping with funeral arrangements.

What contemplative is describing is not the defintion of pastoral care
sounds more like misplaced and/or misguided church administrator or secretary

 

[Mysty101]

magdaline:

Pastoral Care is serving the homebound, those in nursing homes, grief support, helping with funeral arrangements.

What contemplative is describing is not the defintion of pastoral care
sounds more like misplaced and/or misguided church administrator or secretary

Yes, A Parish Pastoral Assistant is very different from a Pastoral Care worker. The former is either a non-ordained Religious, or a lay person who helps with most non-clerical Parish work—moderates laygroups, and does many tasks other than caring for the sick of housebound.

A Pastoral Care work tends to the spiritual needs of the sick, housebound or elderly. Many medical professionals have recognized the importance of Pastoral Care. I have even seen doctors, (even non-catholic) step aside, and allow the patient to receive Holy Communion before having physical needs met.

Pastoral care includes all religions, and ever secular counselors. Most of these workers do have religious background, but some are more like secular counselors. The vocation or ministry is to comfort the infirmed and dying. Most patients are very greatful for the visit, especially the Catholics who also received Holy Communion.

 

[reen12]

Hi, RichT,

“Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope I didn’t say anything bad, perhaps what I should have said was that these particular patients like to ask a lot of questions.” quote, RichT

No, RichT, you didn’t say anything bad! Far
from it.
The whole subject is often so awkward, because
very few people know what to say to say “right”!
You show up for religious services, and that’s
a big win in my book!

I think of the whole issue as a neuro-biological one.
Disorder of brain chemicals or even brain structure is
thought to account for the most serious forms of neurobiological
disorders, aka: mental illness.

Other forms, psychologically ‘caused’ ,are often
the result of a person being deeply wounded, emotionally,
by others.

I often recommend that people unfamiliar with
MI [which is most people] picture the following:

A person’s in a minor car accident. That person
may be so shaken by the incident, that he/she
cannot “focus” on what’s now happening around
him/her. A kind of ‘spaciness’, if you will.
Asked their name, they may not be able to
respond right away.

This is an example of a familiar situation that
people can identify with. Just take that spaciness,
shakiness, lack of ability to focus really well,
inability to concentrate…and you have a
glimpse into 'mental illness.

BTW, it occurred to me that there is some
pretty rough language used in the book that
I recommended, the language used by the
“voices” that the girl is “hearing.” Not for
the squeamish. But I learned a lot in reading
it.

People are kind and good. They just don’t
want to hurt anyone’s feelings, so often they
say nothing, not knowing what to say.

Blessings, RichT,
reen12

PS: I doing fairly well, all things considered, and
thanks for asking. Depression is always with
me, as is a “shocky” feeling…from Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder…a kind of
jumpiness and pervasive anxiety. But you know what?
When I have the occassional deep physical
pain, I realize that I can handle psychological
pain with more skill and courage. Physical
pain turns me into a Super-Wimp!

 

[Jade]

RichT:

Umm, I thought we were talking about pastoral cares workers, as in those who take the Eucharist to the homebound and the sick. Am I missing something?

I thought we were talking of pastoral care workers too…

Rich,
It sounds like what you do is simular to what I am training for. This is something that we touched on very breifly, but I’d like to get your advice on this: how do you ‘take care of yourself’ after these visits? Some of them, as I understand can be very draining and quite heavy.

I have done this role ‘unoffically’ in my family for years and that is one area that I could never quite figure out… any tips would be great!

Thanks!
Jade.

 

[RichT]

Jade:

I thought we were talking of pastoral care workers too…

Rich,
It sounds like what you do is simular to what I am training for. This is something that we touched on very breifly, but I’d like to get your advice on this: how do you ‘take care of yourself’ after these visits? Some of them, as I understand can be very draining and quite heavy.

I have done this role ‘unoffically’ in my family for years and that is one area that I could never quite figure out… any tips would be great!

Thanks!
Jade.

Well, I actually just returned from an evening serving patients at the hospital. The funny thing is that during my last two visits, I visited roughly 14 patients and only served communion once. It has been a little dry and frustrating to see that many people only to hear no thank you. Tonight, every person I visited received communion! They were all very happy to receive and they all participated in the service which is really cool! Most of the time, they don’t actively participate, but thats okay.

Can this ministry be draining? Yes, absolutely! For me, it isn’t difficult to take care of myself as I have a background in the medical field. I used to drive an ambulance. I have experienced death first hand. I guess that over time, you begin to understand that death is natural. My wife’s grandmother passed away this past March, and I think I was the only one who was happy for her. She had great faith and was dying of cancer. When the call came in that she had passed, I just remember feeling good that God had taken her pain away and that she was in a better place than I.

If you end up visiting people who are dying of some sickness like cancer, and you are assigned to visit them on a regular basis, you will become close to them, and you will eventually hear of their death. If this is something you haven’t experieced a lot in your life, it will take some getting used to. For me, I am more comfortable with death, because I am very comfortable with my faith. I have come to a place in my life where I simply accept death as a natural part of life, and as a Christian, I know I will go to a place far better than where I am right now. If you feel this may be a bit much for you, thats okay, you can hopefully ask to be assigned to the hospital, where you rarely will see the same person twice.

Anyway, you have obviously felt a call to participate in this wonderful ministry, so God will guide you. Spend time in prayer, especially in front of the Blessed Sacrament. You will be comforted by the best comforter there is. Most parishes have a person in charge of pastoral care, who will also make themselves available when you need to unload your feelings.

Good luck to you and God Bless you in this ministry!

 

[RichT]

reen12:

Hi, RichT,

No, RichT, you didn’t say anything bad! Far
from it.
The whole subject is often so awkward, because
very few people know what to say to say “right”!
You show up for religious services, and that’s
a big win in my book!

Thaks again for you kind words. I used to drive an ambulance and I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have transported someone from a hospital to a psych facility. I actually became very comfortable around these places. One of the things I learned very early on, was not to even try to understand what was wrong with these people. Instead I chose to just be as friendly as I could. God only knew how many others were judging them, or even walking out on them. It’s not that I wasn’t interested in them, it’s just that I figured if I smiled at them and just treated them the same as I would anybody, that might actually make their day.

During my visit to the mental hospital, when the patients started asking questions, it was actually quite funny. I was completely caught of guard and it almost turnes into a bible study. The even funnier thing was that I never answered any questions, the patients all discussed them together. I was just patient, and let them talk for a bit, and them I got them re-focused. I just wasn’t expecting it.

Well, thanks again, and God Bless!

 

[Pug]

Jade,

I hope you go on with your desire for this ministry. It is so rewarding! It sounds like you have had family situations, maybe where someone died? It is very important to take care of your own needs, like to visit Jesus (in the tabernacle or Exposition) so that you are not drained and so you can be the most “present” when you visit people. I find that is what is best, being present to them, whatever form that may take. Also, if you bring them communion, then that is wonderful be able to be present at that meeting (between them and Jesus)!

I know you asked Rich about this, but might I suggest having a buddy to share with who also has the same ministry? I go with a friend to the hospital, and we talk briefly afterwards. Those chats help.

 

[Mysty101]

Jade:

: how do you ‘take care of yourself’ after these visits? Some of them, as I understand can be very draining and quite heavy.

In the pastoral training I experienced, we had a supervisor, group sessions, and they also wanted us to be in individual therapy during training. This was training for full time work–so much nurturing was needed. Yes, you must be uplifted, or you will burn out.

A buddy is a good idea, but if you start experiencing saddness or depression, it would be better to talk to a supervisor, or other professional. For the most part, it is better not to get too personally involved with the patients. Be compassionate, and prayerful, but if you get too close with too many who are very ill or dying, it is usually very draining. Take your time, and be aware of what you are feeling. If you take on too much, please discontinue some of the visits–if you burn out, you will be no good to anyone.

Also sometimes you need to end a visit before the patient would like. Try to learn some soft ways to do this. I found that it is better not to give an excuse, just say something like, “It was great visiting with you”, or “I enjoyed (or always enjoy, if it is a regular visit) your stories, smile, devotion, etc.” And try to make the person talk, but mostly yyou cannot solve their problems. If there is some practical advise you can offer do so, but more often they just want somebody to listen. Ask questions–“How does that make you feel?” is just about the most effective way to get a person to talk.

If your role is to bring Holy Communion, you really don’t need to talk much. I use A simple format.
Sign of the Cross
Greeting
Invitation to pray the Lord’s Prayer
Behold the Lamb…
Lord, I am not worthy…
This is the Body of Christ
Short prayer.

Do you have a format for a Spiritual Communion, if the person does not or cannot receive sacramentally? I use the same format for a Spiritual Communion as for a Sacramental Communion, subtituting this prayer for the reception of Communion

Spiritual Communion

My Jesus, I believe
that you are present in
the most Holy Sacrament
of the Eucharist.
I love you above all
things, and I desire to
receive you into my soul.
At this moment, I
cannot receive you
sacramentally, but please
come spiritually into my heart.
I embrace You and
unite myself wholly to You.
Never permit me to be
separated from You.

 

[Jade]

Rich, Pug and Mysty,

I am so greatful for your advice and encouragment. I know that I have a gift to minister to people in this way and I intend to follow through, but part of me is a little apprehensive (sp?). I am young (22) and I’m not sure how older people might respond to me. I fear they will brush me off as this young kid who knows nothing.