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Iheartcoffee
Guest
I had a conversation with a co-worker a while back that made me so thankful to know about NFP. A co-worker started venting and confided in me about the fact that she has two young children at home (sounds like they were born in quick succession after they married) so after the 2nd was born her husband “made” her get an IUD so they wouldn’t have any more for a while. She told me that the IUD hasn’t been a good experience. She basically had a “period” for two months straight, and she has had bad ovarian cysts since the IUD.
I could tell she was trying to find out what my husband and I “used” without being too prying, since she knew my husband and I had been married for a while but we didn’t have any children. (We have some very valid reasons and NFP has been a huge blessing.) I told her my husband and I have heard about many of those horrible side effects of those kinds of things so we realized we could never imagine taking the risk of using contraceptives. (Unsure of her religious beliefs, I decided it was best to appeal to the issues she was having physically). She hadn’t heard of NFP. When I explained it I got a wide eyed look and “Wait, you don’t use ANYTHING?” (as in…anything artificial). The fact that a couple that didn’t use contraceptives “planned” children more successfully than her family seemed to shock her.
I do not work closely with her, so I do think that is why she felt it was okay to vent the day we were working together. I hope our conversation planted a seed. I can never imagine any NFP-practicing woman putting up with a husband that “makes” her get an IUD and deal with the side effects like that. It made me realize how empowering NFP is. It was so obvious that he seemed to think her ability to get pregnant was a problem that she needed to “deal with”.
NFP users have GOT to be open about the success of NFP use. Have a good, strong relationship, and don’t be afraid to credit it to NFP. Have that successful attainment of pregnancy or successful avoidance of pregnancy and don’t be afraid to credit it to NFP. I think it would start to change perceptions. When my husband and I got married we got all kinds of abuse from FAMILY MEMBERS who thought we would end up broke, barefoot and pregnant because they found out we went to NFP classes. I had a family member tell me I would never have a career unless I was on birth control. Others condescendingly said, “Time will tell”, assuming that we would soon realize our naivete (after a child supposedly coming each year) and go running to contraceptives. Of course, no one has said anything 2 years into our marriage when I am NOT broke, barefoot and pregnant. No one has apologized for their teasing or rude comments. Our society is not friendly to NFP, but by being good ambassadors, ignoring the dumb comments, and being ready to answer questions from those that are genuinely curious, maybe we can change society.
I could tell she was trying to find out what my husband and I “used” without being too prying, since she knew my husband and I had been married for a while but we didn’t have any children. (We have some very valid reasons and NFP has been a huge blessing.) I told her my husband and I have heard about many of those horrible side effects of those kinds of things so we realized we could never imagine taking the risk of using contraceptives. (Unsure of her religious beliefs, I decided it was best to appeal to the issues she was having physically). She hadn’t heard of NFP. When I explained it I got a wide eyed look and “Wait, you don’t use ANYTHING?” (as in…anything artificial). The fact that a couple that didn’t use contraceptives “planned” children more successfully than her family seemed to shock her.
I do not work closely with her, so I do think that is why she felt it was okay to vent the day we were working together. I hope our conversation planted a seed. I can never imagine any NFP-practicing woman putting up with a husband that “makes” her get an IUD and deal with the side effects like that. It made me realize how empowering NFP is. It was so obvious that he seemed to think her ability to get pregnant was a problem that she needed to “deal with”.
NFP users have GOT to be open about the success of NFP use. Have a good, strong relationship, and don’t be afraid to credit it to NFP. Have that successful attainment of pregnancy or successful avoidance of pregnancy and don’t be afraid to credit it to NFP. I think it would start to change perceptions. When my husband and I got married we got all kinds of abuse from FAMILY MEMBERS who thought we would end up broke, barefoot and pregnant because they found out we went to NFP classes. I had a family member tell me I would never have a career unless I was on birth control. Others condescendingly said, “Time will tell”, assuming that we would soon realize our naivete (after a child supposedly coming each year) and go running to contraceptives. Of course, no one has said anything 2 years into our marriage when I am NOT broke, barefoot and pregnant. No one has apologized for their teasing or rude comments. Our society is not friendly to NFP, but by being good ambassadors, ignoring the dumb comments, and being ready to answer questions from those that are genuinely curious, maybe we can change society.
