Youth ministry advice

[rjrjrj]

Hello,
I am seeking some advice. I am a leader of the youth group in my church. After mass I usually meet some of the members outside and we speak a little, nothing formal, just hi, hows everything, etc… This Sunday, I noticed that one of them had a hickey on his neck. This particular guy is one of the oldest of the group (older brother of 3 other members), hes in his late teens. I do not want this to serve as a bad example to the rest… In addition, I’ve seen some extra friendly conversations lately between him and a girl that is also part of the youth group. I do not want to make assumptions on this as to say that it was her or it wasn’t. Is there anyone that can provide some help on this. What should I do with the guy? etc…

 

[jmcrae]

Hello,
I am seeking some advice. I am a leader of the youth group in my church. After mass I usually meet some of the members outside and we speak a little, nothing formal, just hi, hows everything, etc… This Sunday, I noticed that one of them had a hickey on his neck. This particular guy is one of the oldest of the group (older brother of 3 other members), hes in his late teens. I do not want this to serve as a bad example to the rest… In addition, I’ve seen some extra friendly conversations lately between him and a girl that is also part of the youth group. I do not want to make assumptions on this as to say that it was her or it wasn’t. Is there anyone that can provide some help on this. What should I do with the guy? etc…

If they are in high school, it’s likely that they are dating. Now would be a good time to do some topics on friendship, dating, and marriage. The book Youth Ministry Resources for Pastoral Care has some good Youth Group session outlines for this. Good luck!

 

[KathyA]

It’s late in the year, so you may not have to time address this immediately. I would highly recommend the “Theology of the Body for Teens” curriculum. I used it with my high school youth group this year and they really loved it. It would be a way to really hit the message without singling this couple out.

Kathy

 

[kage_ar]

Check with your Diocese and see what resources are available. Make sure you are sticking with the diocesean guidelines. A youth group should have a code of conduct and a dress code.

After that, are if you are a woman, it would be best to have one of the male chaperones to pull the boy aside and ask him about this.

 

[claforet]

Very simple answer: ask the teen what happened to their neck. you never know, teens do weird things, it may not be from kissing… it could be a rash, alergic reaction, whatever… but ask the person.

If they tell you it is from making out, this is when you have a conversation with the youth about their role in youth minister, leadership and how they set example to the other youth and how they represent youth ministry to the rest of the parish.

You can set out ground rules about appropriate behaviour and have the teen sign something. You can also let them know they can come to you to speak to them. don’t come accross as discliplining… but more out of concern and support.

a program on Chasity and dating may be good. Get a speaker in. Just don’t do it next week,or it will look too obvious it is intended for them… hope this helps.

 

[musicality]

If you click the chastity link at the top menu, you’ll find a website with some good resources on purity from a teen perspective.
One of the people on the website, Jason Evert came and spoke to my high school… I’d recommend it if its within your budget (and if you feel that its worth bringing in a speaker)!