“Early”-Life Crisis

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pumpkinmay4ever

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Hi.

I have a friend who’s only 19, but feels as if she’s lived through her life, in all its intricacies, already (eg. Childhood innocence, The joy of education, sexual fantasy and pleasure, the excitement of marriage, and the dull emotional throb of old age). What do you suggest she do?

I guess to simplify; you could say that she feels like she’s “sped through” life, and feels like there’s no excitement anymore…

Advice?
 
I felt the same way when I was seventeen.

Looking back, I thought I knew everything but I was wrong.

Life always has a way of blindsiding and surprising us. Always
 
Thank-you, Sarcelle :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:!!!
 
Sarcelle said:
I felt the same way when I was seventeen.

Looking back, I thought I knew everything but I was wrong.

Life always has a way of blindsiding and surprising us. Always
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I completely agree with this. In my opinion, perhaps she needs to change her perspective of life (this will more than likely happen with time). Instead of chasing the next thrill and needing a high, focus on each day as a new day and getting contentment with where she is in life. A “slow down and smell the roses” approach might be what she needs.
 
I suggest she realize that such feelings are a normal part of being 19 and get on with living her life.
Also tell her to please check back with us when she’s 50, an age at which most of us get a good chuckle out of our 19-year-old world-weary past selves.

If she’s really feeling joyless, she might also get herself checked for depressive disorder.
 
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Thank-you, Lou2U :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:!!! In your opinion, do you have any tips for her as to how she could “slow down and smell the roses”?
 
Haha 🤣; thank-you so much for your response, Tis_Bearself!!!
 
But you can never truly get back that “first-time” joy, of experiencing those events innocently and for the first time; can you?
 
pumpkinmay4ever said:
Thank-you, Lou2U 😄!!! In your opinion, do you have any tips for her as to how she could “slow down and smell the roses”?
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I do think it will come with time. My suggestions would be for her to find simple things that make her happy, things she can incorporate into her daily life. Perhaps just going for a walk in nature or meeting a friend for coffee. Just little things where she slows down and truly lives in the moment.

Also I’d recommend thinking positively! She’s going to really struggle to get out of her “early life crisis” if she’s holding onto thinking that there’s nothing in her life to look forward to.
pumpkinmay4ever said:
But you can never truly get back that “first-time” joy, of experiencing those events innocently and for the first time; can you?
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But there are a lot of first times that she won’t have experienced yet; they’ll be first times she won’t even have thought of yet. I think perhaps she’s putting too much emphasis on “first times” and that rush of happiness/excitement that comes with them. I recently watched a youtube video that came up recommended to me about a woman reflecting on her life five years ago. One of the things that made her happiest was realising that the “past her” still had many new experiences to come and people to meet, ones that “past her” never would have dreamt of.
 
Wow thank-you for such an amazing answer, Lou2U!!! You should become a psychologist 😂☺️!!!
 
pumpkinmay4ever said:
But you can never truly get back that “first-time” joy, of experiencing those events innocently and for the first time; can you?
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To think that one has already experienced all the important firsts shows a tremendous lack of imagination. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Live in the present. This moment is always a really big first.
 
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That’s immensely inspirational; but she’s saying it’s still very hard for her to “feel” that way…do you have any tips?
 
Tell her to grow up. Value in life isn’t dependent upon how we are “feeling” at any given time. If she feels so unfulfilled, tell her to become Catholic. If she is already Catholic, tell her to get more involved in her faith. Practicing the Catholic faith is an automatic guarantee to fulfillment if one goes in and gives it everything they have.
 
Could you give me some examples? Just seeing as she’s my best friend; I can’t just outright tell her to grow up/become Catholic/do this or that 🤔…
 
I spent thirteen years in the Air Force and saw a lot of young folk grow up quickly. What makes you think I’m not serious?
 
Sorry. Thank-you so much, @Convert3!! I guess to rephrase my question a bit in the context of what you’ve said; how could my friend go on to “deal with life,” or more specifically, go through each and every mundane day, after “growing up very quickly” (eg. Had she underwent, as you did, 13 years in the Air Force)?
 
She would learn there is much more to life than she has experienced. Reality will bring her back down to earth and she will learn of great things that can be achieved.
 
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