“Early”-Life Crisis

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pumpkinmay4ever said:
she’s saying it’s still very hard for her to “feel” that way…do you have any tips?
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Do you have any idea why she feels that way?

If I were to take a wild guess, it would be that she is looking for joy in the wrong places.

The world tells us how to find joy, but the world has it wrong, or actually backwards.

By the world, I mean TV, social media, politicians, celebrities, magazines, popular music, news, advertising, and even family and friends.

By wrong places, I mean pleasure, honor, power, and wealth in all their variations. St. Thomas Aquinas speculated that these four are the false gods of this age. The gratify us but do not bring lasting satisfaction.

It’s not that pleasure, honor, power, and wealth are bad in themselves. When they are properly ordered in our lives, they can bring about much good.

St. Augustine wrote, “Our heart is restless until it rests in Thee.” When we order our lives beyond ourselves, toward God and neighbor, we can find true and lasting joy.
 
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Thank-you for taking the time to provide such a detailed and referenced response, @Beryllos !!! I’m sorry though, I don’t mean to be blunt; but by any chance do you have any practical examples of what you’re trying to outline in the last paragraph? I’d really appreciate them; thank-you once again 😊!!
 
I spent some of my formative years in the military, specifically the Air Force.

It taught me the fulfillment of serving something bigger than yourself.

I think we’re made for that. It’s how we find fulfillment.
 
Sorry—I must be extremely daft—but is there any way you could achieve such fulfillment if it is not possible for you to join the Air Force/military? Or I guess what I’m really asking is, do you know of any practical examples of serving something “bigger than yourself,” which you could do in your everyday life, when you have limited means and resources?
 
Yes there is a way.

It is possible to find a way to serve something bigger than yourself and it need not involve joining the military. It depends on the individual.

I am not in the military any more, so for me it is in my faith that allows me to be a part of something bigger than myself.

For others it’s protecting the environment, or educating and mentoring others, feeding the hungry. Again it depends on the individual.
 
pumpkinmay4ever said:
do you have any practical examples of what you’re trying to outline in the last paragraph?
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It depends on where one is in life. There are always opportunities to cultivate joy and peace.

If your friend lives with parents, there may be an opportunity to build up her relationship with them by being more respectful, helpful, truthful, compassionate, etc. If she is on campus, she could do the same with her peers, and/or set a good example for others.

When I was 19, my college had a certain hazing tradition in which the sophomores initiated the freshmen by dragging them, dressed as they were, to the showers. (This was 1978 at a predominantly male institution.) I and my fellow sophomores on my dorm floor decided, with neither debate nor dissent, to abandon the tradition. We had all been showered when we were freshmen, but we ended it that year. I got some joy out of that.

How else could your friend help others and build bonds of solidarity others?

I haven’t even mentioned building her faith and her relationship with God. There are many ways to do that: prayer, Bible reading, Mass and the sacraments, obeying the Ten Commandments, letting her light of faith, hope and love shine in the darkness of the world. These can bring joy and peace.
 
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Thank-you, @Beryllos!! I really appreciate your answer!! And congrats to you on breaking the tradition 😂!! Have a good day 😊!!
 
I thought of a few other things that can dull someone’s sense of well-being, joy, and peace: overstimulation by the media (entertainment, news, social media), overcommitment to personal activities, and drug abuse. The remedies are pretty easy to say, though perhaps difficult to do: unplug from the media, quit some activities, and strictly avoid drugs except on the advice of one’s physician.
 
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