What priests and parishes do is something I covered quite some time ago on a particular thread on CAF.
It tended to be ignored by those who merely wanted to complain about the Church, and protest that they “couldn’t fit in.” And that was the kind of person I was for awhile, myself. Constant with the bellyaching, convincing myself more and more that “I didn’t belong,” merely by repeatedly saying it, and not by examining why I assumed I “didn’t belong,” and who exactly was at fault for my sense of “not belonging.”
I figured out it was Yours Truly. It was a process. Not an instantaneous reversion. I began to “visit,” literally, a former parish in which it had previously been easy for me to pray, given their long hours open. (Always a requirement for me in seeking out a parish. I have little use for parishes open only barely for Mass, etc.) During this re-entry phase I would wander in now and then, sometimes just sit in church (guiltily
), sometimes act “above it all” and bored, and pick up a bulletin now and then. One day the bulletin featured a Coming Home series (once/week), and I started coming to those. It turned out those were really discernment opportunities, to get folks reacquainted with the essentials of the faith (vs. the non-essentials). Many of the people in the group had a poor catechetical background. (I had had a good one.)
Some of the reasons they had left were, by their own indirect admission, a result of poor catechesis. (You’ll notice that I now harp on catechesis a lot, on this forum.
)
Once I figured out that I might have no serious conflicts with the faith (and couldn’t use that excuse any longer
), I began to make more frequent visits. One day I was talking to the priest who had chaired the Coming Home series. This was and is still a very “available” priest, very non-threatening. However, note that no one person, including him, could by themselves lead me back with conviction. I had to own that. There could have been no more welcoming and non-judgmental person than this priest. He just speaks “surrender” in his body language. The priest was only one instrument and one step. But because the conversation with him that day took so long, it cut down my prayer-visit time, and I found that time overflowing into Mass. While I was praying in the pews, calculating like a coward my pre-Mass exit, he approached me and asked if I were staying for Mass. (I think he wanted someone to bring The Gifts.) As if the Holy Spirit were speaking, I replied instantaneously, “I could be persuaded to.” What I at the same time realized I was saying was, “I want to be persuaded to.” He just smiled. I stayed, and that was the beginning of my journey back.
It’s obvious that it was the Holy Spirit at work. It only worked because I cooperated. The welcoming programs were already there in that parish. The welcoming priest was already there. It didn’t require, nor had I any right to expect, someone tapping me on the shoulder, calling me on the phone, or visiting me in my home, and asking me why I had been away. I had to make the first move – or – the first response to the Holy Spirit. I had been the one operating on resistance; I was the one with the agenda that others had to fit into me, not vice-versa.
I have generally found, listening to other people’s stories of coming back, that my own experience is more similar to that of others than dissimilar, even though I’m sure there is a range and many which deviate from mine.
