🤔 Ending a text message in a period is passive aggressive ( ? )

[MNathaniel]

The bottom line is text is meant to be brief, using formal tones implies pointed language. Taking the time to dot your Is or more accurately dot your sentences you want to infer at lest a seriousness. You did after all take the time to punctuate so you want the reader to know that.

Why is this a discussion?

I think it might just be intergenerational venting and communication.

Personally I’m of the IM generation and (not to speak for everyone) I totally get what is meant by the OP’s referenced thing. Reading certain texts that use formal punctuation gives me a weird feeling, as if a spoken tone of voice were harsh.

While at the same time, I do have (mostly older) loved ones who use such punctuation in their texts, and I’ve seen them send such texts to others with perfectly cheerful faces in perfectly cheerful moods, so I just consciously adapt myself to the reality that if I receive such a text from such a person, it’s probably meant cheerfully.

I don’t think there’s a “right” or “wrong” here, but something maybe for older generations to have an awareness of, and younger generations to have a charitable disposition and tolerance about.

As an amusing aside, my grandma ends all her messages to me with “lol”.

She means “Lots of love.”

I’ve tried to explain what it really means, but she still does it, so I’ve started just replying with “lol” too. Because to her it means “Lots of love,” and that’s what matters when I communicate with her.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

I don’t think there’s a “right” or “wrong” here,

I believe the English language was organized and codified for a reason. Before it was, no one would spell or use words in the same way.

I don’t see it as being helpful to anyone when people think punctuation and spelling words correctly is aggressive. How about the other way around. Not spelling words correctly or using punctuation is lazy.
. . . .

 

[MNathaniel]

What kind of a sissy thinks punctuation is an aggression? If someone did think that, wouldn’t they be embarrassed to admit that certain punctuation hurts their feelings? Oh, well…to each his own. Sounds stupid to m though.

Haha with respect friend, this post actually does come off as “aggression”. And not because of punctuation!

Calling a hypothetical stranger a “sissy” or “stupid” if their generation, which grew up using a new medium that has its own norms about expressiveness, is accustomed to those norms and emotionally reacts in accordance with them?

I tried to be charitable in my own comment about the fact that some people, especially those from older generations, might not be familiar with the IM norms of many in the younger generation.

I imagine it’d be helpful if equal charity was shown on all sides.

You don’t necessarily have to understand it. But maybe you could at least not leap to calling people sissies or stupid?

 

[felsguy]

By my very rough count:

75 replies so far

9 ended in ?
4 ended in !
6 ended in
53 ended in .

we sure are an aggressive bunch

.

oops, make that 54

and yes, there’s nothing good on TV at the moment

 

[RoseScented]

Personally I’m of the IM generation and (not to speak for everyone) I totally get what is meant by the OP’s referenced thing.

I’m also of the IM generation and I am always out of touch when it comes to such things. I didn’t even know the OP’s reference was a thing. I understand it (mostly) when I see it, but from the day I first put my fingers to a keyboard I’ve always typed in complete sentences for the most part. I would never think punctuation would convey tone past ‘?’ or ‘!’. It throws off my friends the first couple times I text them until they get used to it.

I also write everything in cursive, but that’s because I like the way it looks. I did have a coworker argue not only would people not need to learn cursive, but also not need to learn how to write anything other than their name, because they have computers with them all the time now. So who needs to waste time on learning to write when you could just type it up? Spend that time in school learning more useful things. I was appalled.

 

[MNathaniel]

What’s the difference between being called a sissy or being called passive aggressive? Is there really a difference?

Anyway, you seemed to be defending the ‘punctuation is aggression’ point of view…which is complete nonsense.

Friend… are you reading what you write?

Next to what I wrote?

I thought I wrote charitably, about understanding what the OP referred to while also suggesting we all remember the need for mutual understanding, charity, and tolerance. I even gave a specific example of something my grandma does that I’ve adapted to, rather than asking her to adapt to me.

Why are you going out of your way to call people names like “sissy”, and accuse me of “nonsense”?

Honestly it’s coming across as completely unfriendly and unnecessarily antagonistic from my perspective. Will you call me a “sissy” for that too?

 

[MNathaniel]

MNathaniel:

Personally I’m of the IM generation and (not to speak for everyone) I totally get what is meant by the OP’s referenced thing.

I’m also of the IM generation and I am always out of touch when it comes to such things.

That’s why I included the “…not to speak for everyone…” part of my own post.

 

[RoseScented]

RoseScented:

MNathaniel:

Personally I’m of the IM generation and (not to speak for everyone) I totally get what is meant by the OP’s referenced thing.

I’m also of the IM generation and I am always out of touch when it comes to such things.

That’s why I included the “…not to speak for everyone…” part of my own post.

I know, I wasn’t trying to say you were speaking for everyone, just pointing out what someone from that same time period experiences when confronted with it. I thought the would convey I wasn’t coming in very serious. Sorry.

 

[Irishmom2]

Ohhh, okay, thanks.

 

[MNathaniel]

I know, I wasn’t trying to say you were speaking for everyone, just pointing out what someone from that same time period experiences when confronted with it. I thought the would convey I wasn’t coming in very serious. Sorry.

Sorry, your comment was totally fine, guess I was still feeling a little over sensitive from the previous commenter I was just finishing responding to when I saw your remark. I’m over here busy being a “sissy”.

Time to move on to something else though. Don’t worry about me. Haha.

Again, your comment was totally fine.

 

[ioannes_pius]

Like roadman Shaq???

 

[ioannes_pius]

Ah I see.

(10 characters)

 

[1Lord1Faith]

You could have worked at Chuck-e-Cheese for all I know.

I’m not sure that I agree here. I’m sympathetic to most people. But being “triggered” by punctuation is not something that I will be sympathetic toward.

It’s bad enough to be offended by punctuation, but to also not understand that other people use punctuation…and mean nothing by it but to convey meaning by using a set of rules of writing in a certain language…no, I don’t sympathize. I can sympathize with ignorance and stupidity. But that’s apparently not what’s going on here.

There is a difference between a whole generation of people thinking punctuation is offensive, and your bosses wanting you to be less formal with clients or whoever.

 

[Lea101]

My peers and I definitely feel punctuation is “aggressive” but only in the context of a text conversation as opposed to text messages in general.

Most of us talk via text (as opposed to older people who may call to chat, and text when there’s something specific to say), so texting is ‘read’ as if it’s a verbal conversation. We usually break up texts into multiple messages as well to separate it instead of periods. As we don’t think of punctuation in verbal conversations, I guess it can be jarring to see it when you’re treating the text conversation as if you’re verbally speaking. I know certain friends who find exclamation points weird as well. If they’re excited or if they find something funny, they use emojis or caps.

I don’t really know how we all seem to come to the same conclusion on this. It’s kind of funny.

I think it’s silly to feel angry or disturbed over this. Huffing and puffing over generational differences, or getting upset over someone’s (different) texting style is just embarrassing at this point.

 

[Cruciferi]

…

… Anyone feeling uncomfortable?

… Take that!

…And this!! …

 

[ThinkingSapien]

usually break up texts into multiple messages as well to separate it instead of periods.

This was some time ago, but i had a friend that would do that. And o hated it, for practical reasons.

HEY

You there?

I have a

question

for you

?

My practical reasons were at the time unlimited text message plans did not exists. There was also no option to disable text messages. After so many were sent or received it cost money.

Add to this that the way that text messages worked was that when they came in a popup notification would interrupt what ever was going on. It would generate a series of popups. If I were trying to silence the phone I could not get to the screen until she stopped messaging. I remember just pulling the batter in one instance.

This is a different era. Those problems dont exists any more and I became content to not interact with that specific friend through anything but voice or email. But I still am not fond of that style of messaging. Since I often receive messages during work hours I prefer to get one long message instead of several smaller ones. When I was physically in the office I didnt want to be seen looking at the phone too much…

When I have on my earphones the phone will just read text messages to me. When they are broken up, it says "Text message from " before every message.

 

[christofirst]

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

 

[AdamP88]

This is what happens when grammar and punctuation isn’t taught in school.

 

[Lea101]

This was some time ago, but i had a friend that would do that. And o hated it, for practical reasons

To be fair, that’s not what I’m taking about. It’s more broken up by points rather than half sentences (e.g. HEY/I need your help, are you free now/anyway, I need you to do _______). Yours would immediately annoy me lol!

From my experience though, my peers and I switch to longer texts if it’s not in a conversational context (I.e. Shorter texts if the person is online). We also text in apps like WhatsApp so like you said, the costs aren’t a problem because there isn’t any. We’re also not dumb enough to text the same way to our bosses/professors etc, thank God.

 

[Bithynian]

Really? Is this an US phenomenon? I’m from Europe and everybody writes in (more or less legible, although doctors are the uncontested masters of indecipherable scribbling) cursive.

I think it’s a phenomenon encountered in most Anglophone countries. Even amongst many older Australians (over 65 y.o.), cursive handwriting is quite uncommon: very few of my professors wrote in such a hand.

With that in mind, the handwriting of prior Anglophone generations was hardly elegant Spencerian or Palmerian (the two classical styles of English handwriting). I’ve seen some of the handwritten correspondence of 20th century Anglophone literary luminaries, like T. S. Eliot and W. H. Auden, and a lot of it just looked like each writer’s own version of cuneiform.