#1 Most Important Piece of Advice for those discerning a vocation to religious life/order is

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Friar_David_O.Carm

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I see a lot of people here who are trying to discern if they are being called to religious life and/or the priesthood/diaconate.

They come here seeking advice on what to do.

The main thing to remember is that most people here are very unqualified to assist.

The most important thing to do when starting to discern such a thing is to find a good spiritual director.

The second thing to do is contact some vocation directors but do not, I can not stress this strongly enough, do not use these directors as a spiritual director.

Just wanted to add my two cents as it seems every thread about vocational discernment it seems that the person asking the questions does not have a spiritual director and I feel like a broken record repeating this in every one of them.
 
You say that we ought to find a good spiritual director. How exactly does one go about doing this? I am new to the Catholic Church and so do not know very many people. I feel like God is asking me to look into the priesthood. To be honest I really do not want to be a priest. However, even though I don’t want to be a priest God seems to keep putting it on my mind. I’m so scared why does God want so much from me! I don’t know who to talk to about this, I feel like no one in my life will understand.
 
sjs said:
You say that we ought to find a good spiritual director. How exactly does one go about doing this? I am new to the Catholic Church and so do not know very many people. I feel like God is asking me to look into the priesthood. To be honest I really do not want to be a priest. However, even though I don’t want to be a priest God seems to keep putting it on my mind. I’m so scared why does God want so much from me! I don’t know who to talk to about this, I feel like no one in my life will understand.
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One thing to keep in mind. God will not call us where we do not want to be. Now you might not want to be a priest right now but that could change. If it does then you may be called, if it doesn’t then you probably are not.

To find a spiritual director I would ask your pastor and also contact any religious houses that might be near by. In my case when I start out my pastor could not help me but there was a Trappist Abbey near by and they were able to assist me.
 
sjs said:
You say that we ought to find a good spiritual director. How exactly does one go about doing this? I am new to the Catholic Church and so do not know very many people. I feel like God is asking me to look into the priesthood. To be honest I really do not want to be a priest. However, even though I don’t want to be a priest God seems to keep putting it on my mind. I’m so scared why does God want so much from me! I don’t know who to talk to about this, I feel like no one in my life will understand.
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Do not be discouraged by what you may feel - and do seek a spiritual director. Many vocations have started out as a distaste for the life. You could phone your diocesan offices and ask how to locate a spiritual director; alternatively you could contact a Religious Order of priests and brothers and ask if they undertake direction. If none of these are able to help, I am quite confident they can point you in the direction to find a director.

Blessings and Peace…Barb:)
 
BUMP!

Again, because this is the most important first step of vocational discernment and still people are not doing it, even when told to do so by others in the know.
 
Another good question to consider is:

Are you considering a vacation because you feel that God is speaking through others to you or
are you considering a vocation to please someone who is speaking to you about it?
 
Okay then,

Besides the great difficulty in finding a spiritual director who is even available, how do you know if the person is a good fit? What are you supposed to do? What becomes of your time?

And why should a vocation director not serve as a spiritual director? I mean, if you are advised to get a spiritual director for the sole purpose of discerning a vocation to a particular life, and the vocation director has actually discerned a vocation to that particular life and lived it, good/bad/ugly for several years, then why not talk about your spirituality with them?
 
I would add frequent reception of the sacraments and time spent in adoration. —KCT
 
ChemicalBean said:
Okay then,

Besides the great difficulty in finding a spiritual director who is even available, how do you know if the person is a good fit? What are you supposed to do? What becomes of your time?
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You talk to people about it, your pastor any one who you know that has a spiritual director. This is how you find one.

It see if they fit, you try them on, so to speak. You meet with them and see how it goes.
And why should a vocation director not serve as a spiritual director? I mean, if you are advised to get a spiritual director for the sole purpose of discerning a vocation to a particular life, and the vocation director has actually discerned a vocation to that particular life and lived it, good/bad/ugly for several years, then why not talk about your spirituality with them?
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A vocation director is not a good fit for a spiritual director because they are evaluating you. They are also biased somewhat for the group they work with.
 
KCT said:
I would add frequent reception of the sacraments and time spent in adoration. —KCT
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For some yes, but others no.

I would work though this with a spiritual director.
 
ChemicalBean said:
I’ll ask this again, of anybody who has had a good experience with a spiritual director:
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If you mean about the time one spends with one’s spiritual director. Father usually asks me how have things been going and the appointment for an hour simply unfolds from that question talking about matters connected to my spiritual life. I also go to Confession, usually first.

God’s Blessings and His Peace…Barb:)
 
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