10 Ways to show your husband respect

[Wildgraywolf]

-return his stuff to where ya got it

-he controls the clicker

-don’t bow up every time the guy in front applies his brakes,
and say “Look out”

-every house needs a boys and girls bath

-don’t tawk to me when I’m on the phone, can’t process 2 conversatons at once

*-dont *eat the last ice cream sandwich

-don’t change conversations mid stream

• when I’m telling our friends a story, don’t keep jumping in adding stuff and cutting me off

All I can think of right now

There ya go Bama. Succinct and complete. Everyone should have a copy of this on their refrigerators.

 

[Phemie]

-return his stuff to where ya got it

Fair enough.

-he controls the clicker

But running through the channels 7 times during one commercial is cause for assault if not outright homicide.

-don’t bow up every time the guy in front applies his brakes,
and say “Look out”

Don’t behave as though you’re the only one who knows the rules of the road when your driving shows you believe they don’t apply to you.

-every house needs a boys and girls bath

Agreed. And I don’t clean the boys’.

-don’t tawk to me when I’m on the phone, can’t process 2 conversatons at once.

Fair comment.

*-dont *eat the last ice cream sandwich

But you did that and you’re diabetic and not supposed to eat them like they’re celery.

-don’t change conversations mid stream

Hey, after 33 years you’re spooked because you can usually able to follow my UTurns.

• when I’m telling our friends a story, don’t keep jumping in adding stuff and cutting me off

OK.

All I can think of right now

 

[KayFrisco]

This is a very nice thread - good reminders for sure.

One thing I noticed is that these are all ways that my husband shows respect to me as well. Maybe that is why it doesn’t feel like work to extend the same consideration to him?

Well, he might get a little more time with the TV remote…

 

[sandraladeda]

Just a variation on showing respect for your husband - some things for spouses to do for each other.

*** THE 7 LOVE AGREEMENTS

1. Faithfulness - I will be faithful to my spouse at all times and in all circumstances.
2. Patience - I will not try to change things about my spouse that I do not like but will modify my behaviors that annoy my partner.
3. Forgiveness - When I have offended my spouse, I will quickly ask forgiveness, and I will forgive my spouse’s offences in my heart even before being asked.
4. Service - I will anticipate my spouse’s spiritual, emotional, physical, and material needs and will do everything I can to meet them.
5. Respect - I will not act or speak in a way that demeans, ridicules, or embarrasses my spouse.
6. Kindness - I will be kind to my spouse, eliminating any trace of meanness from my behavior and speech.
7. Celebration - I will appreciate my spouse’s gifts and attributes and celebrate them personally and publicly.***

Another…

You and your spouse are one. You are no longer two people. If you wouldn’t think of hurting yourself, you shouldn’t think of hurting your spouse. And visa versa. It isn’t about who is doing more or who should be treated this way or that way–you and your spouse are one flesh…and must not live two separate lives, but view each other as part of each other.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Good thread.

Beyond just not criticizing your husband in front of others… Do not criticize men in general, because husbands are men. When a wife makes unkind statements about men, it makes her husband look bad. If she says it doesn’t apply to her husband, it implies her husband isn’t “manly”. Male bashing is a no win situation.

 

[whiteyacht]

I really like this thread. I’ve been praying a lot lately that God will help me love my husband the way he needs to be loved; I think the ideas on this thread will help me do that!

I agree with the PPs about not criticizing your husband in front of others, especially family. That’s one that goes both ways, too!

 

[shannyk]

One more way that comes to mind, is to not argue against his discipline with the kids. (of course, this doesn’t apply if your husband is abusive) This used to be a sore subject with my husband and me…he would hand down a punishment, and I would jump in and be the kids’ savior. It really hurt our marriage a lot back then. Now, I defer to my husband. The kids at first tested me, but now, they know…if their dad comes up with a resolution to something, whether it be punishment or not–it’s final. The same goes actually when I feel they deserve discpline over something…he defers to me. It’s about being cohesive and one that makes all the difference, in all areas of marriage.

:bowdown:

Now this is a god one WG. It took me WAAAAY too long to get this in my own marriage:blush: , but when I did, it made a huge difference in every way.

I would also add that it can not only go for discipline but just for everyday parenting stuff too. Mommies tend to think, especially when the kids are very little, that their way is the only way, but I think kids can greatly benefit when mommies just step back and let dad parent his way, even when it makes you cringe

 

[whatevergirl]

:bowdown:

Now this is a god one WG. It took me WAAAAY too long to get this in my own marriage:blush: , but when I did, it made a huge difference in every way.

I would also add that it can not only go for discipline but just for everyday parenting stuff too. Mommies tend to think, especially when the kids are very little, that their way is the only way, but I think kids can greatly benefit when mommies just step back and let dad parent his way, even when it makes you cringe

ABSOLUTELY!

 

[Feanaro]

I like this thread!

 

[bluerose]

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine (we’ve been friends 22 years, both of us got married the same year, which makes this our 20th anniversary year) who’s been having some problems with dealing with stuff her husband has said and/or done. And I reminded her of those three little words that can keep a marriage strong.

No, not those three. Or those three.

It’s these:

LET IT GO.

We all do stupid things, we get careless, we act thoughtlessly. We say things that were better left unsaid. We have annoying idiosyncrasies that drive our beloveds up a wall. We make promises we can’t (or forget to) keep.

And we say we’re sorry.

And no matter what, from time to time, we keep bringing it back up. Over and over and over. No matter how trivial (“Remember when we first got married how you left the milk out on the counter when we went on vacation?”) or how irrelevant (“I’m sorry I burned the roast, but you shouldn’t have said my mother needs to mind her own business about your driving skills!”)

He forgot you made plans for dinner with your sister and came home late and he said he’s sorry.

LET IT GO.

She forgot that the casserole recipe she got from her co-worker made you want to gag and she made it again because she happened to have all the ingredients on hand and she said she’s sorry.

LET IT GO.

You ran into his/her old girl/boyfriend from college and he/she commented on how good they looked.

LET IT GO.

And even the big stuff (and maybe ESPECIALLY the big stuff), once you talk it out, work it out, cry, apologize, throw things, scream, beg for forgiveness, forgive… okay, after all that

LET IT GO.

I can’t remember who said it, but what’s the use of burying the hatchet if you’re just going to put up a marker?

Let it go. Why burden yourself with past hurts and petty bickering? You can’t expect your spouse to pay the price forever. Would you want to?

(and yeah, this is the voice of experience talking.)

LET IT GO.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

I like this thread!

Anything in particular? Anything to add to what has already been mentioned? Come on, give a wife a little help here!

 

[AHapka]

Anything in particular? Anything to add to what has already been mentioned? Come on, give a wife a little help here!

Read his mind

Sorry, I just couldn’t resist…

---

However, in all seriousness, I would suggest some of the following:

1. Don’t grill us about specific sins after confession. Choosing to tell you is one thing, but grilling is not good. Asking what sins did you confess and how often does not improve marital communication;
2. Yes, we occasionally fall asleep on the couch at 5pm. If we’ve had the kids all day and they are in clean diapers, fed (presumably something good), the house hasn’t fallen apart, and there are no new bruises or stitches, let us have a half an hour;
3. I second the no male bashing comment;
4. We rumble and tumble with the kids. Unless there is a loud crash followed by louder crying (or house shaking), recognize it’s the way we play;
5. Recognize that having different parenting styles is a good thing. I might help you see or realize something you wouldn’t have (and vice versa) which is an overall help to the kids;
6. If it can’t be dried, advance notice is required (and yes, I know it’s printed on the label, but still);
7. When we tell you “it’s up to you,” that means make a decision and we’ll support you either way. If we do really care and still say “it’s up to you” that means we our honoring you as our wife and putting your preference above our feelings. I.E. loving you more then ourselves;
8. We each have different interests. Recognize and respect mine and I’ll be more likely to do the same for you. I’ll be far more likely to keep all of the kids so you can go scrap booking, if you do the same for me on poker night without moaning or groaning;
9. In regards to the above, never, ever, say my husband is “babysitting.” Babysitting is a paid position to held by a person who watches the kids while the parents are not available. It implies that the father/step-father is not a parent;
10. Unconditional love. You don’t have to love our actions, but you must love our person.

And of course to all of us guys, most of those can be flipped around and are things we should do for our wives too!!!

 

[puzzleannie]

I thought of another one, when he gives you a sign of respect, respond, particularly when he gives you the choice of what movie to see or where to go eat, make a decision,
don’t have those rambling, Oh I don’t know, what to do you want to see/eat? I don’t care . . . then act exasperated when you end up at the wrong movie or restaurant.