123 Magic Parenting Discipline

[Serap]

My daughter is approaching age 7 and my son is 4 and a half now. I am implementing 123 Magic to accommodate their maturing ages. My son responds well to taking away privileges and toys. My husband can put DS in a time out, but for me, it just becomes a power struggle. He listens to my husband and stays in his time out.

I have begun letting my son choose his discipline…lose a toy (eg. his trainset or all of his cars for 24 hours, his superhero dolls, etc), privilege (eg. dessert) or a time out in his room (1 min for each year). I draw 3 sad faces for my son. If he gets 3 sad faces, he gets his discipline.

My daughter responds well and I was blessed with one easy child.

The key to this working is no emotion and no discussions…that’s a change for me b/c I’m very emotional and often try to over explain things to my kids and I often lose them at “well the reason…”

I am finding this to be working, but I’d like to hear from other parents who have tried this discipline technique. What worked for you? What did not work for you?

Thanks!

 

[Xantippe]

I haven’t used 123 Magic Parenting, but I think that your experience with time outs is not unusual. I never used time outs with my oldest because we didn’t have a prayer of it working.

Only a very cooperative child is going to cooperate with time outs or “naughty chairs.”

 

[St_Francis]

This certainly fits in with my (inconsistently used ) discovery that I mete out a small punishment earlier than a large one.

Also, I had to teach mine to stay in a time-out, which I did by restarting it if they got up or made noise.

Annie

 

[HopenHappiness]

Hi,

Last thing I would do is give a 4 year old a choice of punishment (for example a 4 year old does not really grasp 24 hours). I would just pick one that would make the most impact at the time. Time out is successful if you follow through with your actions. At first we used his room, the then we decided against that, because his room was a toy store, and two we didn’t want him to associate his room with punishment. So we just used a chair in a corner, He then was to sit there until he could tell us what he did was wrong. He was a very stubborn child, at first we would have to walk him back to the chair at least 50 times, with the punishment starting over each walk. Eventually he learned that we would not be giving up, and just did what was asked by him, sat there and thought about what he did and why it was wrong.

As he got older, writing sentences were my best friend. He only wrote them twice, but all I would have to say, if you keep it up you will be writing sentences. He would stop in his tracks. The key to any discipline is the follow through, so many people say if you don’t stop that your going to … and they never do anything buy yell.

Good Luck Parenting is hard, you are not meant to be their friends. But it is so worth it in the end, because when they are adults you are friends and they are well rounded children. Also never promise anything you can follow through with, you are only as good as your word.

 

[Serap]

St. Francis and Hopenhappiness,

Glad time outs work for you guys! Unfortunately, the only way I can get my son to stay in a time out is to give him a spank on the bum and I feel so bad and exhausted doing that over and over again.

123 Magic book says that timeouts don’t work for some kids it becomes a battle of wills.

You’re right, being a parent is HARD. I love being a mom, but it can be very taxing.

 

[Serap]

Something that took me a long time to learn was that I had to be open to change, change and more change.

I was always looking for the “one parenting technique” that would really do the trick! Sometimes I would actually find one! Things would be great, but only for a while. I learned that as my children grew and changed I had to adapt and change my methods too.

I think magic 123 might be great so go ahead, good for you! However don’t think of yourself as a failure as a parent if it starts to fade after a while. Simply move on to something else. I always thought parenting meant I had to be consistent (it does) and that consistent mean that the consequences had to be the same (they don’t.) I tried time outs, sitting in the corner, writing essays, push-ups, grounding, letters of apology, taking away toys, taking away privledges I did it all. I don’t think the choice of consequence matters so much as the fact that you ARE giving one!

You are doing a great job, hang in there.

Thanks Monicad. The thing I like the most about 123 Magic is you must use no emotion and no discussions. I like that no-nonsense parenting approach. I have been yelling a lot.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I have no kids, but I have done a lot of babysitting.

I think for a 4 year old, the no discussion is a good thing because at the best of times, it is hard for an adult to communicate in a way a 4 year old can really understand. If it is in the heat of a child acting up, there is no way a discussion would be a good thing.

I knew one couple who would let their kid eat his meal in the time out chair. The kid did not like time outs but at least he stayed put. That might be a compromise ie, one toy (not his favourite) or colouring or something that could channel his ‘misbehaving energy’

Angie

 

[Serap]

Funny thing, but it was my son who I was spanking and it concerned me b/c it was happening too regularly. I was using it as a back-up method for time outs b/c he just will not absolutely will not stay there for me.

Now all I do is count to 1 and he’s behaving for me asap…why? He doesn’t want me to take his cars away for the day…how funny is that? Who knew?

My daughter on the other hand hates this 1, 2, 3 stuff and is testing me like crazy and she’s the GOOD one!!! She has so far lost treats and had time outs and she keeps asking me why I’m being so “mean” haha!