13 year old involved with pornography. What to say/do?

  • Thread starter Thread starter stmk
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

stmk

Guest
A bit of background:
My brother is a good man but he doesn’t always practice his faith. He is several years divorced from his first wife (but not annulled), and a couple live in girlfriends later, he got involved with a woman and she got pregnant about 6 months after they started dating. They have been engaged and living together for several months. They just bought a house together. In addition to the new baby that is the joy of our lives, the woman he is living with also has a 12 year old son and a 15 year old daughter.
My brother told me that he caught the 12 year old watching pornography on his phone one day and told him that it was wrong. The boy said he had no idea it was wrong. This boy (Alex) is a very good kid. I don’t know what kind of upbringing this boy had or what his relationship with his father is. My brother is now going to be the main role model in this boy’s life and even though my brother knows my thoughts about the dangers of pornography I don’t even know that HE doesn’t use it.
Alex is now a part of all of our lives and I want to be a better example to him than I was to my older nephews/Godchildren while he’s still young. They just started Catechism for the first time a few months ago.
Any advice on what I can do or say to this 12 year old boy? I’ve been on the Chastity.com website but if I give my brother a book called “Raising Pure Teens” it’s going to make him look at himself as much or more than the boy and he might not read it.
Any advice/prayers is greatly appreciated.

Thank you.
 
If your brother wants your feedback:

There is no reason a 13 year old should have data on the phone without filters. So if it was truly an accident, this will prevent it from reoccuring. Home computer should have filters too, and adult supervision, until the child is at the age to self regulate.
 
stmk said:
A bit of background:
My brother is a good man but he doesn’t always practice his faith. He is several years divorced from his first wife (but not annulled), and a couple live in girlfriends later, he got involved with a woman and she got pregnant about 6 months after they started dating. They have been engaged and living together for several months. They just bought a house together. In addition to the new baby that is the joy of our lives, the woman he is living with also has a 12 year old son and a 15 year old daughter.
My brother told me that he caught the 12 year old watching pornography on his phone one day and told him that it was wrong. The boy said he had no idea it was wrong. This boy (Alex) is a very good kid. I don’t know what kind of upbringing this boy had or what his relationship with his father is. My brother is now going to be the main role model in this boy’s life and even though my brother knows my thoughts about the dangers of pornography I don’t even know that HE doesn’t use it.
Alex is now a part of all of our lives and I want to be a better example to him than I was to my older nephews/Godchildren while he’s still young. They just started Catechism for the first time a few months ago.
Any advice on what I can do or say to this 12 year old boy? I’ve been on the Chastity.com website but if I give my brother a book called “Raising Pure Teens” it’s going to make him look at himself as much or more than the boy and he might not read it.
Any advice/prayers is greatly appreciated.

Thank you.
Click to expand...
well, considering you were not the one who saw him looking at it, it’s going to be hard for you to say anything. it’s going to look more like “stepdad told auntie and now all the adults are after me”

in this day and age, because of the culture, it’s entire possible that he really didn’t know it was wrong.

develop a close relationship with him first, you could take him out on outings or something. try to teach him aspects of the faith if you can. in all the evangelizing/missionary stuff I’ve done, I’ve learned that unless someone loves god first, they’re not going to care about the “rules”. later on, you can try to talk about the other stuff.

considering your brother brought it up to you, maybe you could give him the book. just say something like “hey, I remember what you mentioned about Alex, maybe this will be helpful?” and leave it at that. whether or not he reads it after is really his responsibility
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top