14 year old preparing for Sacrament of Baptism

[matthew1624]

I’m looking for some advice. My niece is beginning classes to receive the Sacrament of Baptism. At her first class last night she came out very dissappointed and discouraged. The problem is that she is the oldest in the classroom. Most of the students in the class are in the 4th grade (9 years). She feels out of place and embarrassed. Is it common for the church to group everyone together regardless of their age. I spoke to my sister in law last night and she said my niece was in tears. Are there any alternatives here? Is there anything my wife and I can do as her chosen godparents? We want her to have a good experience. I look forward to any responses.

God Bless…

 

[puzzleannie]

I have no doubt the parish is using the resource it has, in terms of volunteer catechists, time, and space the best way it can, and hazard a guess that, as in my parish despite repeated appeals, no one has come forward to teach a class of older youth. The director probably had to make a choice to put her in a class of younger children which happens to be the makeup of the group this year, or with the adults, which is not recommended, because of the nature of the discussions on marriage and related issues that will arise.

In our parish I have to do this with the Spanish class, this is the first we have enough volunteers to separate adults and children, but I wish we could do more for the youth.

We have one person who will have a 2nd year class of 37 this year, grades 4-8, because I can’t get someone to handle the Jr Hi separately, finally got someone for High School last year. the major problem is time and space, as well as volunteers.

Most of the children in these classes are here because their parents never got around to performing their clear duty to teach and baptize their children, and the child is paying the price.

In my parish, I would have her join the confirmation class with her friends, or the regular 8th grade class which would provide a good intro to the doctrinal part and scripture, and have her join the special sessions on Saturday or Sunday for those adults preparing for baptism so she gets the RCIA part of it, make sure she is prepared for and participates at the rites in the proper time, more record keeping on my part, better experience on her part.

If you have any influence in this child’s parish, why not gently suggest that she be partnered with some of the teens who already have their sacraments as sponsors and mentors who will go through the class with her so she doesn’t feel alone. This is actually recommended in the ritual book. At this age, to enter a room without a friend in it is torture to a kid.

We do try to go the extra mile to make sure every one has the best experience, but we are drawn very thin.

I call again on all those self-professed experts (or muftis) on this forum to become part of the solution in your parish and be a catechist. If you are not doing so, I ask, why not?

 

[mercygate]

You are her Godparents. Go with her. Actually, you really SHOULD go with her in this special situation. (Keep an eye on the catehchists!)

When I came into the Church, although the RCIA group met separately, the little prayer service beforehand was conducted WITH the 82 teen-aged candidates for Confirmation. When the RCIA director apologized to us for putting us in this uproarious group, I assured him that it was a privilege to be there.

Help your neice understand that there will be many opportunities to experience and exercise humility in living the Christian life. This is one of 'em! (Assuming, of course, that no more preferable option is available.)

 

[stbruno]

If there are any Catholic high schools in the area, it’s worth a check to see if they offer any baptismal instruction. I know most of them have Confirmation prep classes going. They may also have baptismal ones as well. It’s worth a try! God bless you

 

[stbruno]

One more option is to contact the local diocesan office for Youth ministry. They may have even more resources for baptismal prep. God will lead you if you only ask.

 

[deaconswife]

Have you approached the person responsible for the RCIA program? Would she feel more comfortable in meeting with the adults preparing for baptism? I can see no reason why at 14 (I assume she is in 9th grade) she could not understand material presented at a more adult level.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

I do not accept anyone under 18 in the adult program. There are many complications if younger people are present. I have occasionally had 18 or 19 year olds; they were never completely comfortable.

Sister runs separate groups for children and teenagers. It is a heavy drain on volunteer time.

If there is another parish nearby, a coop program where one does children and the other teenagers would be great.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

matthew1624:

I’m looking for some advice. My niece is beginning classes to receive the Sacrament of Baptism. At her first class last night she came out very dissappointed and discouraged. The problem is that she is the oldest in the classroom. Most of the students in the class are in the 4th grade (9 years). She feels out of place and embarrassed. Is it common for the church to group everyone together regardless of their age. I spoke to my sister in law last night and she said my niece was in tears. Are there any alternatives here? Is there anything my wife and I can do as her chosen godparents? We want her to have a good experience. I look forward to any responses.

God Bless…

I need a little more information. Since she is over the age of reason she would go through the RCIA process. Some parishes have two RCIA processes one for adults and one for children (which many in error call RCIC). If she is in RCIA that is geared to children she might consider attending the adult group instead. As her Godparents/ sponsor of course would need to attend with her.

By the way “they” do not get to choose which process she attends it is really up to her, her parents, you her sponsors and the Pastor. She has a right according to Canon Law to attend the adult process if she wishes as long as her parents do not object.

 

[Deacon_Tony560]

Our diocese requires the candidate to be at least in the 10th grade. It’s up to the bishop, but I thought that most bishops were leaning toward older kids who are close to beginning their adult life. Try some of the suggestions and if all fails, contact your diocese.

God bless you for your faith,
Deacon Tony SFO

 

[DJJG]

If you believe that you are qualified, and have the time to do so, talk to the pastor about letting you instruct her. There is no rule that says she has to go to formal instruction, in a class setting, the pastor is free to alow private instruction, if it is available. If a private teacher is not a family member then there would need to be a third person present, so that the child and adult are not alone together. In fact our diocese requires a third person even if the pastor is alone, giving instruction to another adult (as if for RCIA).

 

[matthew1624]

Thanks to all of you for your posts. They have been so helpful. My niece actually took the route of humility and decided to stay in the class. However, she will look for alternatives if it doesn’t work out. She’s really concerned about learning all she can about what she is about to do. Isn’t that incredible. I will be taking alot of the advice you all have shared. If I have any other questions I’ll be sure and come here. You all are awesome!

God Bless…