14 year old son wants to be a girl

[Rin]

Frankly, I’m shocked that some people really believe the root of this poor child’s problem is gender identity.

From what I’ve seen, most who have posted here have been unison that the way the OP describes it, it does not sound like transgenderism, but something else. That said, you never know, but if the cross-dressing and genital mutilation is motivated by hearing voices, it sounds more like psychosis.

If you’re referring to my posts above, it was in response to someone else, who posted a rather different story in the same thread.

Given the history of abuse and obvious mental illness, isn’t it obvious the cross-dressing and wanting to be a girl are mere symptoms of an enormous underlying issue? This child was not “accidentally born in the wrong body” or whatever explanation. If that were the case, wouldn’t the grandmother be justified in dressing him up like a girl and insisting that he be one? That wouldn’t be abuse; she’d be right! Furthermore, the abuse wouldn’t be perpetuated by taking him to a doctor to prescribe HRT? Because in the past that’s not what he wanted, but now that his mind has accepted this absurd idea as a coping mechanism, now it’s fine?

Your thinking is correct, given what we’re told (which I don’t doubt is right, but I always make this reservation when the post is not about the OP). But the advise about seeing a gender therapist is not to “take him to a doctor to prescribe HRT”. You don’t get HRT by pointing at it. In this case, if the patient is obviously mentally ill, unable to consent and in danger of self-injury, a gender therapist who prescribed HRT would lose their license or worse. A gender therapist would thus, in cases like these, treat the condition which is causing the problem, or refer to someone who can.

I’m sorry to hear some doctors are less stringent with their standards in instituting HRT, but according to treatment standards, I can’t imagine any GID-specialist doctor would touch this case with a ten foot pole. There are supposed to be very strict criteria which seeks to rule out other mental illness and situational factors before undergoing gender reassignment surgery. I would think this boy would be ruled out immediately as a candidate.

To be honest, while I’m sure there are some bad apples, most stories about doctors who aren’t stringent enough with their pre-HRT screening turn out to be unfounded. GD-specialized doctors are often the target of investigation, but very rarely disciplined. Yet there is no reason to believe they’re getting a free pass; rather the opposite, in fact. They need to cover their every move, making sure there’s nothing to criticize if the case is later put under scrutiny. This has been hurting (and even killing) patients, but the latest version of the SoC has a good balance - if countries just would decide to enforce it.

And yes, if the data we’re presented with are correct (which again I have no reason to doubt), the patient would be ruled out, at the very least until other issues are resolved; if the identity issue then persists, it would be time to reconsider.

However. Not all doctors are equally ethical or competent. By taking him to someone who specializes in GID or has extensive work with transgendered individuals, you run the risk of someone failing to examine him thoroughly, or seeing what they want to see, and perpetuating this absurdity. No, you are heading in the wrong direction.

This is where you go wrong. Professionals who specialize in gender identity don’t just specialize in GD, but also in identifying underlying reasons for (presumably) temporary gender identity issues. They’re the best bet not only for treating GD, but also for identifying other causes. They don’t “want to see” anything; if anything, many of them prefer to see reasons to keep the gates closed…

I would be more worried that someone with no specialization in gender identity fails to see the whole picture.

I agree with the advice to find the largest teaching hospital. Don’t rest until someone properly assesses the extent of his OCD and abuse. I will pray for you,

Yes, teaching hospitals are generally good places to go; they should be competent within psychiatry as well as gender identity, and hence be able to sort things out.

 

[danavee]

Ok, how about this (let’s consider, while being careful not to break the rule about giving medical advice):

Does anyone on this thread believe the young man’s problems would go away if he were simply allowed to dress and live as a girl?

Personally, I think there is so much going on with the history of abuse and possible mental illness that the question of whether he’s transgender or not can’t be adequately addressed at this time. So no, I don’t think his problems would just go away if he was allowed to dress as a girl (and I’d believe that even if he is transgender) However, I think this child is clearly in pain and trying to cope with it the only ways he feels able to. Looking at his current behavior on a spectrum, dressing as a girl is on the benign end of the things he’s doing to try to cope with his trauma and I find the self-harm, the suicidal ideation, and hearing threatening voices to be far more pressing concerns. OP’s family sounds like it’s in crisis mode and that means picking your battles, so if letting him dress as a girl in the privacy of his room means he can focus more on healing from his need to harm himself or on managing a mental illness (instead of unnecessarily wasting mental energy fighting about clothing choices), then it’s a compromise worth making, in my opinion.

 

[jheckle81]

I’ve was going to try to keep up with the responses and respond to each one indivdually, but I don’t think I’ll be able to. But just to clarify, the grandma didn’t dress him in dresses, jus talked about wanting him to have been a girl, having a girl named picked out for him, etc. Her main trauma was sexually molesting him his whole life on top of reinforcing the idea that he should have been a girl. A previous babysitter that locked him in clostets was the one who forced him in dresses and forced him to play dress up in girl clothes with her daughter. She had also been physically abusive, hitting him and kicking him in the crotch and he peed blood. All of this happened alongside each other as he was at that babysitter for quite some years, so as he’s being molested by grandma and told how he should have been a girl, he’s being abused by babysitter and forced to “play” in girl dresses, while no mom is in site to protect him. Jadon was seven when my husband and I met. He says he’s wanted to dress up and be a girl since abou eight. So, to me it all makes sense. I personally think the abuse led to or made worse any mental illness and the constant reinforcement of being a girl, things would be better if he were a girl, etc molded and shaped his mind over the course of years, all the while it was stewing in his head as he never told anyone until this past year. At any rate, I’m the most concerned about the hearing voices and following through with what it says, which ranges from suicidal to homicidal thoughts. And to be honest I have thought some of this is just for attention, bu as I told Jadon, I dont care if he’s making the whole thing up, there’s lines you don’t cross in what you say or do even if it’s just for attention and you don’t really mean it. As to these teaching hospitals, I guess I need to look into things more. Everything we’ve been told is to go to the hospital (Cincinnati Children’s hospital, which is one of the top, if not the top, in the nation) ER, he gets evaluated, they check him in to the psych ward for 3-5 days (all insurance will cover) and he basically goes through he motions, meets with some psychiatrists and therapists, they all love him, he holds back everything to be released, they put him on some new meds, and send him home. We ask about long term programs and they say inurance won’t cover it and look at us like we have three heads bc he’s “only” been here three times. They think it’s more about the girl thing. I’m more worried about he voices. They ask him, are u still hearing the voices? No. Okay. But he wants to go home of course he lies. And he stole pink underwear they assign to the girls apparently. But I feel like we’re not taken seriously at this prestigious, best in the nation hospital and they just keep saying its PTSD with major depressive disorder. Well the. Why is he hearing voices and seeing things? Why is he listening to this thing? How far will he go? What do I have to do to be heard and taken seriously? I’ll google teaching hospitals. We feel like we’re running out of options.

 

[Sunbreak]

Try to get some counseling for him. Be prepared, though, that he may still want to be a girl and it may not have anything to do with his prior abuse. I have a niece who wanted to be a boy ever since she was two and a half years old. She is 18 and taking hormone shots now. Telling a young person they are sinning by identifying with the gender of the opposite sex is not going to accomplish anything.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

I’ve was going to try to keep up with the responses and respond to each one indivdually, but I don’t think I’ll be able to. But just to clarify, the grandma didn’t dress him in dresses, jus talked about wanting him to have been a girl, having a girl named picked out for him, etc. Her main trauma was sexually molesting him his whole life on top of reinforcing the idea that he should have been a girl. A previous babysitter that locked him in clostets was the one who forced him in dresses and forced him to play dress up in girl clothes with her daughter. She had also been physically abusive, hitting him and kicking him in the crotch and he peed blood. All of this happened alongside each other as he was at that babysitter for quite some years, so as he’s being molested by grandma and told how he should have been a girl, he’s being abused by babysitter and forced to “play” in girl dresses, while no mom is in site to protect him. Jadon was seven when my husband and I met. He says he’s wanted to dress up and be a girl since abou eight. So, to me it all makes sense. I personally think the abuse led to or made worse any mental illness and the constant reinforcement of being a girl, things would be better if he were a girl, etc molded and shaped his mind over the course of years, all the while it was stewing in his head as he never told anyone until this past year. At any rate, I’m the most concerned about the hearing voices and following through with what it says, which ranges from suicidal to homicidal thoughts. And to be honest I have thought some of this is just for attention, bu as I told Jadon, I dont care if he’s making the whole thing up, there’s lines you don’t cross in what you say or do even if it’s just for attention and you don’t really mean it. As to these teaching hospitals, I guess I need to look into things more. Everything we’ve been told is to go to the hospital (Cincinnati Children’s hospital, which is one of the top, if not the top, in the nation) ER, he gets evaluated, they check him in to the psych ward for 3-5 days (all insurance will cover) and he basically goes through he motions, meets with some psychiatrists and therapists, they all love him, he holds back everything to be released, they put him on some new meds, and send him home. We ask about long term programs and they say inurance won’t cover it and look at us like we have three heads bc he’s “only” been here three times. They think it’s more about the girl thing. I’m more worried about he voices. They ask him, are u still hearing the voices? No. Okay. But he wants to go home of course he lies. And he stole pink underwear they assign to the girls apparently. But I feel like we’re not taken seriously at this prestigious, best in the nation hospital and they just keep saying its PTSD with major depressive disorder. Well the. Why is he hearing voices and seeing things? Why is he listening to this thing? How far will he go? What do I have to do to be heard and taken seriously? I’ll google teaching hospitals. We feel like we’re running out of options.

PTSD can definitely be the cause of hallucinations.

 

[DaisymaeD]

The responses to this thread have been really interesting. The main thing I wanted to say was be really careful who you take your son to, make sure they are ethical and make them treat his other conditions and not just sweep your concerns under the rug by dismissing you as “homophobes”.

I am aware of the two-years-to-treat rule. I learned it in nursing school. That’s why it was an absolute shock when my family member was put on hormones within weeks. And the hospital refused to even hear about his backstory, or treat his other very obvious problems.

Despite some skepticism, I’m afraid this story is true. I am willing to consider that what happened in our family was a falling-through-the-cracks or outlier type of case. But it can happen. Psychologists, like everyone else, can have their own biases or agendas.

God bless.

 

[Rin]

I am aware of the two-years-to-treat rule.

I’ll refrain from further debating the specific case you brought up; I will never know all the details anyways. I just wanted to illustrate that relatives don’t always see the picture doctors does. But yes, obviously some doctors are bound to stray from the SoC, it’s just rare among gender specialists, due to the possible outcome. One misstep can easily lead to loss of license, bankruptcy and even prison.

But I feel I should clear up the part I’m quoting above: The two years (generally, though minimally one) to treat rule is for surgery, not hormones in countries where the newer SoC is being followed.

The reason for this is simply that hormones make psychological changes long before any irreversible, physical changes happen. In addition, cis people generally don’t tolerate cross-sex hormones well, and trans people generally have drastic, positive, psychological effects from them. Hence, hormones have become a diagnostic tool; the patient needs to be able to consent (not psychotic, too young or otherwise unable), and it is the patient’s responsibility to report negative effects and stop if they realize this was not for them.

Obviously, this approach has flaws; if someone just refuses to realize that hormones didn’t work as they expected, they will be allowed to go on. But to be honest, those patients need to take responsibility. In addition, this happening is very rare; for most people who turn out to not really be transgender, the hormonal treatment is simply torture, and even if they wanted to go on, it would be unbearable. Actually, it would feel like being transgender…

Lastly, the older diagnostic approach, where patients were required to go through rigorous testing to figure out whether they were “really” transgender, was even more flawed. Yes, screening to rule out serious, ongoing mental illness is necessary, and still done. However, the other parts of the diagnostic process previously required, have turned out to be useless. About the same percentage changed their mind after they got hormones then as now! And for those who really needed hormones, the process was torture; being required to live a year in your perceived gender before accessing hormones is cruel. Simply putting on a dress doesn’t cure dysphoria.

Not that the real-life test is useless - it is crucial. But it has turned out to be useless in discerning whether someone needs hormones, since as I said, the same percentage quit taking them then as now. It is however extremely useful to find out whether someone qualifies for surgery, and it should be done while taking hormones (this is a requirement), since then not only whether the person is able to live in their perceived gender is tested, but also whether they have any positive (or adverse) psychological effects from taking cross-sex hormones.

So yes, it takes shorter getting hormones now (though three to six months of discernment and screening is still highly recommended, but not an absolute requirement; if the patient is already self-medicating, for example, it is imperative to get them on a supervised regime), and compared to the old process, it leaves a lot less victims. Obviously no system will be 100% failsafe; no medical treatment is. But compared to general practice regarding other potentially harmful drugs, perhaps especially stimulants and certain psychopharmaca, I’d say the SoC for transgender healthcare is among the strictest, both in theory and practice, with far fewer victims of malpractice than psychiatry in general.

 

[jheckle81]

We haven’t told him he’s sinning by WANTING to be a girl, or even dressing in girl clothes. That was one of the reasons I posted on here. Not to get medical advice. We’re doing that now. Constantly. But to find out if allowing him to dress in girl clothes and making him think that’s okay and normal is sinning ON US or if we are culpable for his sins, or if he is sinning by doing that. I did tell him to have the operation would be a mortal sin simply because you are mutilating your body and essentially telling God He was wrong in making him a boy. I’m not saying people aren’t born with those thoughts and unfortantly those are their crosses to bear. But to change your sex and essentially tell God He made a mistake and you voluntarily mutilate your body, is, in my mind, wrong. I don’t know how the HRT would fit in their, but mainly we’ve told him he’s our son and well always love him, but we won’t allow him to dress in girl clothes and consider himself a girl under our roof bc we have five other children with very impressionable minds (12,6,3,17 mos,3 weeks) and we’re not going to allow him to influence them and confuse them that their big brother thinks he’s a girl and to call him Ashley now, etc. we tried to work out a compromise that he could dress like a girl in his room at night but that wasn’t good enough for him. But in all honesty, you’d have to know Jadon, I just don’t believe this is what he truly wants. When I ask him why he wants to be a girl, he says things like “girls don’t have to work if they don’t want to” or “is be nicer if I were a girl” but never anything like “I feel trapped in a boy body”. And the only times he started to want to be a girl was after being forced to wear girl clothes, be molested by a “girl” he loves, and have being a girl shoved down his throat by the same woman, who, by the way, is a “Christian woman who works for the church”. (Protestant). Talk about confusion. So I want to have the other issues addressed first (abuse, hallucinations, etc) before moving forward with any serious talk about being a girl bc I think there’s a lot under the surface and indont want any “be who you want to be” liberal psych fueling this fire. Not until we get to the root of things. If it turns out he truly has these thoughts, then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Either way, he’s not going to confuse the other littles with this. Not to sound heartless, but it would also be irresponsible of us to focus only on Jadon and his feelings and ignore the damage being done to five other young minds.

 

[Razanir]

When I ask him why he wants to be a girl, he says things like “girls don’t have to work if they don’t want to” or “is be nicer if I were a girl” but never anything like “I feel trapped in a boy body”.

Hmm… Yeah, again, that part, at least, sounds like me 4 years ago. That said, I never went so far as to self-mutilate. If you take him to a therapist, do it if for no other reason to try to stop his self-injury and to deal with the hallucinations.

 

[Kamaduck]

Wanting to be a girl or boy because of percieved social benefits probably doesn’t indicate “true” transgenderism. Especially with the abuse, that’s probably not what’s going on- but on the other hand, there’s really no way for us to know from here.

What I do know is that allowing him to dress as a girl for the moment isn’t sinful, especially if it lessens the danger to himself and others. You have to pick your battles. Your top priority should be keeping him (and the other children) safe. If that means allowing him to wear female clothing, that is permissible.

 

[Rin]

But to find out if allowing him to dress in girl clothes and making him think that’s okay and normal is sinning ON US or if we are culpable for his sins, or if he is sinning by doing that.

Your child would not be sinning - the crossdressing is caused either by mental illness or by transgenderism (I’m mentioning the latter just to not rule it out completely).

I did tell him to have the operation would be a mortal sin simply because you are mutilating your body and essentially telling God He was wrong in making him a boy.

That would be your personal opinion. The Church has no doctrine whatsoever on this, and in the only document on the issue, sex reassignment surgery is actually permitted, in cases where it is the only way to lessen the patient’s turmoil. Since hormone replacement therapy is a prerequisite for said surgery, the same would be implied about that.

But again, only in cases where it is the only way to treat the patient’s difficulties. In the case of transgenderism, HRT and in some cases SRS is the only way.
I won’t tell you what to do in this specific case. It is too unclear what is causing all this. If anything, I’d at least recommend that you think through the extent to which you let your beliefs on the matter (which, as mentioned above, aren’t really declared by the Church) affect how you handle this. No matter the underlying cause, whether it is transient or permanent, whether it is best treated by psychiatric drugs or therapy or something else, “theologizing” this struggle could just make it worse. I agree that you should protect your other kids, perhaps even more so because of the psychological instability. A cross-dressing sibling won’t really affect most kids that much; all research I’ve found on this (which is amounting to quite a lot, as time goes) indicates that gender identity is not malleable. Transient disturbances may occur, but even that tends to happen more from internal causes than external ones. But yet, there’s nothing wrong with restricting such behavior to your child’s bedroom, given the current instability.

You do seem like a balanced, loving parent, and I will pray and hope that you find good solutions and a good outcome.

 

[SMGS127]

Wanting to be a girl or boy because of percieved social benefits probably doesn’t indicate “true” transgenderism. Especially with the abuse, that’s probably not what’s going on- but on the other hand, there’s really no way for us to know from here.

What I do know is that allowing him to dress as a girl for the moment isn’t sinful, especially if it lessens the danger to himself and others. You have to pick your battles. Your top priority should be keeping him (and the other children) safe. If that means allowing him to wear female clothing, that is permissible.

I agree with Kamaduck. While I will not give my thoughts on his medical condition (nor am I allowed to on these forums), I’ve never met a transgender person who transitioned for the “social benefits” in either direction. It’s almost always an intense turmoil with a disconnect between their identity/self-awareness/self-characteristics and incorrect hormones and genitalia that are driving them into deep depression and/or anxiety. Social benefits seem an extremely minor reason to want to transition in contrast.

However, he should be seeing both a psychiatrist and a renowned gender therapist. They’ll ensure that there are no underlying mental issues, and only if there aren’t [and it sounds like there are] would they proceed with any sort of gender therapy.

 

[jmcrae]

That would be your personal opinion. The Church has no doctrine whatsoever on this, and in the only document on the issue, sex reassignment surgery is actually permitted, in cases where it is the only way to lessen the patient’s turmoil.

Can you link to your documentation, here?

 

[Cricket2]

This child is in no position to make any choices at this time, and neither are you really. He certainly needs care, love and understanding. I know all about the troubles with insurance and Medicaid. How awful and unfair. I hope you can find someone who can act as an independent counselor for your son and your family.

I am no expert, but I would think that any culpability for any of you is minimal due to the circumstances. This will take time for any progress and for any decent results for you as a family. I suggest your son have lots of counseling before ever making a choice to “become a girl.” There is a lot to work through, and that just can’t happen over night.

I am so sorry to hear of this. Abuse is such a damaging act that goes so much farther than most will ever understand. My prayer are with you all.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Question for those who know (or think they know):

Suppose that a specialist tries to treat this boy, and the boy comes out still wanting to be a girl. Is that supposed to be evidence that he is genuinely transgender?

I ask because it’s obvious to me that we sometimes, through abuse, acquire dispositions and desires that are essentially irremovable, except by the action of God. But the fact that we cannot remove them does not mean that they are right or good. (If an abuser abused me with S&M as a child, I might always be interested in S&M, even despite good therapy. But that does not mean that it is good and right for me to pursue sadomasochism.)

Is my thinking off here? In what way?

 

[Sereta]

I’ve was going to try to keep up with the responses and respond to each one indivdually, but I don’t think I’ll be able to. But just to clarify, the grandma didn’t dress him in dresses, jus talked about wanting him to have been a girl, having a girl named picked out for him, etc. Her main trauma was sexually molesting him his whole life on top of reinforcing the idea that he should have been a girl. A previous babysitter that locked him in clostets was the one who forced him in dresses and forced him to play dress up in girl clothes with her daughter. She had also been physically abusive, hitting him and kicking him in the crotch and he peed blood. All of this happened alongside each other as he was at that babysitter for quite some years, so as he’s being molested by grandma and told how he should have been a girl, he’s being abused by babysitter and forced to “play” in girl dresses, while no mom is in site to protect him. Jadon was seven when my husband and I met. He says he’s wanted to dress up and be a girl since abou eight. So, to me it all makes sense. I personally think the abuse led to or made worse any mental illness and the constant reinforcement of being a girl, things would be better if he were a girl, etc molded and shaped his mind over the course of years, all the while it was stewing in his head as he never told anyone until this past year. At any rate, I’m the most concerned about the hearing voices and following through with what it says, which ranges from suicidal to homicidal thoughts. And to be honest I have thought some of this is just for attention, bu as I told Jadon, I dont care if he’s making the whole thing up, there’s lines you don’t cross in what you say or do even if it’s just for attention and you don’t really mean it. As to these teaching hospitals, I guess I need to look into things more. Everything we’ve been told is to go to the hospital (Cincinnati Children’s hospital, which is one of the top, if not the top, in the nation) ER, he gets evaluated, they check him in to the psych ward for 3-5 days (all insurance will cover) and he basically goes through he motions, meets with some psychiatrists and therapists, they all love him, he holds back everything to be released, they put him on some new meds, and send him home. We ask about long term programs and they say inurance won’t cover it and look at us like we have three heads bc he’s “only” been here three times. They think it’s more about the girl thing. I’m more worried about he voices. They ask him, are u still hearing the voices? No. Okay. But he wants to go home of course he lies. And he stole pink underwear they assign to the girls apparently. But I feel like we’re not taken seriously at this prestigious, best in the nation hospital and they just keep saying its PTSD with major depressive disorder. Well the. Why is he hearing voices and seeing things
? Why is he listening to this thing? How far will he go? What do I have to do to be heard a and taken seriously? I’ll google teaching hospitals. We feel like we’re running out of options.

A lot of parents are under the illusion that if they get their troubled child admitted to longterm Psychiatric Hospital Intreatment that it will solve their problems.
This is wrong.Many children (or adults) have had long term involuntary stays and they are just as bad off as they started.
Parents have the illusion that long term (name removed by moderator)atient stays somehow mean intensive attention,therapy and efforts towards their child.
This is a misconception and the reality is that hospitals are really primarily run and staffed by nurses-doctor visits are infrequent,approx 15 minutes every few days.
The only different by having your child placed in (name removed by moderator)atient psych treatment is that they will be sleeping on a hospital bed/living in a ward,as opposed to his bedroom.
As you know,mental health finding is low.
What you possibly don’t know is quality of care is poor and the purpose of (name removed by moderator)atient psychiatric care could be compared to a prison holding cell-IE+the keep the “cases; in that they “assess” most at potential of causing physical harm to other/society(sometimes self)
So in reality it’s more like a prison “lockup” than effective treatment centre.
I assume that the medication they gave your son was Antipsychotics?
If so,then there’s nothing more that would be done in (name removed by moderator)atient “care” then “babysit” him-so to speak.
If they didn’t give him this then that’s something you and him could discuss asking for to try.
Your son clearly still has some awareness,thank God,and he’s not " a fool” as he clearly understands how to “play the game” to make it so the Mental Health staff “release him”,for lack of better words.
So instead of taking this as a bad thing,maybe take it as an indicator that this might not be the best place for him to get help.
It’s true that some people with Psychosis can have zero insight which is why they deny help,but it’s also equally true that some Psychiatric Hospitals cause some more trauma than good.
Clearly,he and your family do need urgent help of some sort though.
Being sexually abused can cause people huge trauma,huge confusion,poor coping skills,and psychosis in some people so maybe a trauma centre that specifically deals with people who have been victimized,or a therapist who deals in gender issues,as someone mentioned,might be a good avenue to explore asap.

 

[Sereta]

Maybe you could contact this Psychiatrist and see if he could put you in touch with someone as he was involved in the gender indentity disorders program at Boston Hospital at one point.
It’s a touchy area obviously,but maybe you could ask your son to write a list of why he thinks it’s better to be a girl and what are his dislikes about being a boy/man?

m.hopkinsmedicine.org/psychiatry/expert_team/faculty/M/McHugh.html

 

[SMGS127]

Maybe you could contact this Psychiatrist and see if he could put you in touch with someone as he was involved in the gender indentity disorders program at Boston Hospital at one point.
It’s a touchy area obviously,but maybe you could ask your son to write a list of why he thinks it’s better to be a girl and what are his dislikes about being a boy/man?

m.hopkinsmedicine.org/psychiatry/expert_team/faculty/M/McHugh.html

I would absolutely not recommend Paul McHugh Sereta. He is not a gender therapist. He is an activist within the Catholic Church pushing to have transgenderism looked at as completely illegitimate. He set back by decades the Church’s ability to understand whether transgenderism was biologically supported through his own agenda, singlehandedly shutting down John Hopkins’ research center on the issue in the 70s. He is not open to the idea of it being legitimate and would shoehorn a truly transgender child into a dangerous position. While I do not believe the OP’s child to be transgender, I would never take the risk of sending them to a discredited physician just in case.

 

[Sereta]

I would absolutely not recommend Paul McHugh Sereta. He is not a gender therapist. He is an activist within the Catholic Church pushing to have transgenderism looked at as completely illegitimate. He set back by decades the Church’s ability to understand whether transgenderism was biologically supported through his own agenda, singlehandedly shutting down John Hopkins’ research center on the issue in the 70s. He is not open to the idea of it being legitimate and would shoehorn a truly transgender child into a dangerous position. While I do not believe the OP’s child to be transgender, I would never take the risk of sending them to a discredited physician just in case.

Yeah,it’s important people be cautious who they see.
Maybe these trauma centres or private Psychiatrists instead?
The website has an search engine option where O.P can type in desired requirements such as Christian and area desired,if wishes.

depts.washington.edu/hcsats/about_us.html
m.psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=143225&sid=1400740446.1023_16109&city=New+York&county=New+York&state=NY&spec=256&tr=ResultsProfileBtn&trow=1&ttot=267
m.psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=153064&sid=1400740446.1023_16109&city=New+York&county=New+York&state=NY&spec=256&tr=ResultsProfileBtn&trow=2&ttot=267
m.psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=40961&sid=1400740446.1023_16109&city=New+York&county=New+York&state=NY&spec=256&tr=ResultsProfileBtn&trow=8&ttot=267
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[Rin]

Can you link to your documentation, here?

ncronline.org/news/vatican-says-sex-change-operation-does-not-change-persons-gender

“-- An analysis of the moral licitness of “sex-change” operations. It concludes that the procedure could be morally acceptable in certain extreme cases if a medical probability exists that it will “cure” the patient’s internal turmoil.”

The document was sent to the bishops sub secretum, but leaked to the media (the article is originally from CNS) in 2003. Given that the Vatican has not in any way denied its existence, there should be no reason to doubt its content.

That said, if you read the whole article, it is definitely not overall positive, and much of it is influenced by Dr. Paul McHugh, who is discredited as a scientist as well as a doctor, for manipulating research data and being obviously driven by his own ideology. Even the Church is not immune to people with an agenda, in its daily dealings (obviously the declaration of dogma is different, due to infallibility). Therefore, some of the scientific claims of the document were a bit off even then, and in the decade which has passed since it was issued, science has progressed a lot, making the claims seem even more off.

Note that before this document was issued, the Church many places did change the baptismal records to reflect sex reassignment, and the document does not require those to be changed back. There are Catholic transwomen licitly married to men (and as we know, validity is assumed until challenged), and the document does not declare those marriages nil. I see the nature of this document as cautionary: The Church has decided to wait for more data, and in the meantime, admission to the sacraments of Holy Matrimony and Holy Orders is restricted for those who are transgender (just as much to protect them from entering an invalid marriage or being invalidly ordained, which sadly is difficult for many to understand in this day and time), but receiving the surgery or hormone therapy will also not excommunicate the patient. Which is wise, given past mistakes: The Church declared rather solemnly that the Earth is the center of our solar system a few hundred years ago, and now it would just be embarrassing to correct the document (picture the media feasting upon such a declaration), so it stands. It’s not like the original declaration was within the domain of faith and morals, anyway.

If the determination of gender proves to be so different from what we have thought (and again, there is no dogma regarding the determination of gender, but Catholic doctrine clearly states that there are only two genders. This is an important distinction) as science progresses, a clear, doctrinal condemnation of transgenderism at this time could look rather embarrassing in a century or two.

Bottom line, the fact still remains that the Church acknowledges that SRS (which again would imply HRT) “could be morally acceptable in certain extreme cases”. In reality, the procedure is only offered in extreme cases…

Question for those who know (or think they know):

Suppose that a specialist tries to treat this boy, and the boy comes out still wanting to be a girl. Is that supposed to be evidence that he is genuinely transgender?

No, not on its own. But a beneficial effect of cross-sex hormones would be. The male brain isn’t too fond of being flooded with estrogen

I’m aware the above sentence is a gross simplification, but hormones are the best diagnostic tool there is. And not least a lot better than the traditional year(s) of filling in questionnaires which are mostly based on old gender stereotypes, and interpreted differently depending on the therapist who scores them. That kind of diagnosis was (and is, where it’s still practiced) completely random - many who were turned away ended up killing or castrating themselves (often ending in death due to arterial bleed), and many who were “accepted” turned out to react adversely to hormones and hence quit. In the end, hormones were the only reliable part of that diagnostic process, too.

As to the second part I didn’t quote, I wouldn’t say your thinking is off - obviously, a persisting wish isn’t always an indication of transgenderism. But then again anyone with a persisting wish who isn’t really transgender would react adversely to the “hormone test”. Often, they’ll quit upon the first sign of reduced sexual drive and function, according to my doctor. In contrast, most transgender women are so bothered by their male sex drive (and not least function) that getting rid of it feels like deliverance.