16 year old grand-daughter isn't getting her sacraments

[MarieHellen]

My grand-daughter will be turning 16 on May 22nd and still hasn’t even received communion. I raised all of my children going to church as often as possible. Thankfully, all of my children stayed with the Church, and all of my grandchildren have at least been baptized, and those old enough have had communion, except one. I’m not blaming her. My daughter(her mother) struggles to go to Mass. She believes, she’s just tired, I understand that she has a lot of stress and works long hours. When she was younger, she used to come to Mass all of the time. She was very eager to get my granddaughter baptized, and did. When my grand-daughter was one and a half, they stopped coming to Mass, then started back when she was four, then stopped again within a couple of months. They started coming back, about once every two or three months about two years ago.

My grand-daughter, her name’s Cate, always used to stay with my husband and me on weekdays before she started school, when she’d stay the night, I’d always encourage her to come pray with us before bedtime. I’d play tea-party with her, and have her pray with me before. My husband would tell her stories of the saints, and Bible stories, which she loved. She loves rosaries, I’ve heard her say she loves to pray, so I know she believes. It just bothers me that she isn’t receiving her sacraments. Her older brother had his First Communion and Comfirmation, he’s 11 years older than her. I want to bring it up to my daughter, but don’t know how, I know she’ll get offended, I don’t want to offend her, I just want Cate to receive all of her sacraments properly. Advice?

 

[LaSainte]

Your grand-daughter is old enough. I would ask her about it. Next time prayer or religion comes up, just casually say, “I can see how spiritual you are. Have you ever thought about having your First Communion?” If it interests her, she will bring it up to mom herself.

 

[serge6288]

I am a Catechist for a Church in Montreal, I’ve been preparing children for their Sacrements for the last 15 years. Just go to your local Church and ask them how to proceed, or speak to them first before speaking to your Daughter about it.

 

[Allegra]

I didn’t get my first communion until I was 18 because my parents were “busy”. I think your granddaughter is lucky to have someone in her life to encourage her spiritually. Why don’t you offer to take her to Mass with you? If she expresses an interest, then you can offer mom a suggestion for how she could go about getting her confirmation and first Eucharist. Otherwise, continue to live out your faith and share the peace it gives you with your granddaughter. If she wants it, she will seek it out as an adult.

Just a word of caution though, if she is the only one on that side of the family that can’t recieve communion, there is a risk that she could come to feel out-of–place at Mass and if you are seen as being “pushy” she might even get the idea that you don’t love her as much as her cousins because she isn’t Catholic enough. Kids internalize things like that really easily. Try your best to keep the doors open and let her know that she IS Catholic, that the Church will always be there for her, and you will support her if she decides to recieve the sacraments.

 

[MarieHellen]

I didn’t get my first communion until I was 18 because my parents were “busy”. I think your granddaughter is lucky to have someone in her life to encourage her spiritually. Why don’t you offer to take her to Mass with you? If she expresses an interest, then you can offer mom a suggestion for how she could go about getting her confirmation and first Eucharist. Otherwise, continue to live out your faith and share the peace it gives you with your granddaughter. If she wants it, she will seek it out as an adult.

Just a word of caution though, if she is the only one on that side of the family that can’t recieve communion, there is a risk that she could come to feel out-of–place at Mass and if you are seen as being “pushy” she might even get the idea that you don’t love her as much as her cousins because she isn’t Catholic enough. Kids internalize things like that really easily. Try your best to keep the doors open and let her know that she IS Catholic, that the Church will always be there for her, and you will support her if she decides to recieve the sacraments.

That’s actually why I think she doesn’t come part of the time. Half of the time, when her mother and I go, she doesn’t come with us. I think a certain part of her does feel out of place. She’s proud to be Catholic, she wears saints’ medals and bracelets. I do they think she feels left out though, because out of all of my kids her mother is the only one who doesn’t go to Mass at least once a week. I bet she hasn’t been to Mass 50 times in her life, if so, her attendances as a baby added up to that.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Cate is old enough to take care of it herself. Her mom is obviously of no help here and should not be relied upon. Ask Cate if that is what she wants and help her - find info on the catechism class/RCIA, get the ball rolling.

When I was her age I decided I wanted to convert and started RCIA. Easy.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I would ask Cate how she feels about the faith and if she wants to receive communion. If she says yes offer to take her to the classes as long as her parents say it is OK.

I need to caution you however. I know as a grandmother you just want what is best for Cate. However, I don’t know of any 16 year old that honestly communicates her feelings to a grandma. It is just icky to them. I am concerned you are reading the signs wrong. Wearing a medal of saints does not mean devotion, at that age it could be fashion. I can not count how many crosses I have seen around the necks of people who do not go to church.

Sure as a kid she loved hearing stories of the saints and praying. To a four year old it has nothing to do with religion. It is simply getting attention from grandma and grandpa by them reading and reciting poems together.

I do encourage you to help Cate, but make sure it is what Cate wants, not your wants

Angie