It seems like she may have missed nursing - and you - all day, and yes, knowing she cannot get nursing (or perhaps anything like that closeness) from Grandma - its a relief when you walk in the door, finally! And she wants nursing likely because its close and intimate, her and Mommy, total focus… Just because she was “good” all day does not mean that inside she was not longing for and missing Mommy.
I nursed and followed Dr. Sears Attachment parenting when my son was young. It appealed to me and seemed right. I nursed until into his third year - but by that time it was mostly just at before bedtime, and he weaned by “forgetting” about nursing… I did not remind him, thinking it was self-weaning and I’d let it be - but after a week, or two, or three, when he remembered and there was nothing and was so surprised and disappointed - oh, I felt bad!
I think by 18 months - and certainly times before that - there was this sense of being tired at times of having this child always attached. Reading Dr. Sears Baby Book always inspired me to keep at it, also the example other Mom’s at Le Leche League meetings inspired me. It helps to have inspiration when it seems like all the other adults in the world are walking around independently without an attached child! (The grass is always greener…). Yet every single occupation a person has gets tiresome at times! And there were all those wonderful moments, which it helps to document with pictures or journaling…
I remember that I had the only child in the 0-2 age range at my (Protestant) church that would not go to the nursery during the service. Then my son’s father insisted, and luckily there was a nice grandma there who held him the whole time while he cried, until he finally stopped, but he did not want to be put down so she held him. I was grateful to her (as I secretly checked up at the nursery door window). It took awhile for him to adjust to Sundays in the toddler room, but he did. The other moms and grandmas expressed a bit of alarm at his clingyness, and would tell how they thought it was important for a baby to be “independent”. But I clung to Dr. Sears advice that meeting ALL a baby’s attachment needs as they express those needs when they are young makes them* more* independent, later, because they are not insecure as older children, still looking to get those unmet attachment needs met.
Well it worked that way, because he very soon became a very independent child, more so than most any other child I met, and was always rather fearless - I noticed this especially when he was middle and high school, and I would always be surprised by his friends’ many fears of things - it was always a surprise because my son didn’t have these… I really do think that my responding to every cry or complaint for Mommy’s comfort when he was a baby/toddler had a lot to do with that. So my advice is, be patient a little longer. Very soon she will increase her independence. Your patience will bear fruit. Be proud of yourself, too. You have a very important job, more important than most anybody else’s job - even though they often LOOK more important! It is a job of great dignity and you are surely surrounded by many angels and saints - saints who were once also Moms of little ones, and they remember the very same trials and fatigues of parenting little ones.
