19 days until my wedding!

  • Thread starter Thread starter BlestOne
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
B

BlestOne

Guest
I am so excited, tired, worn out, happy, frustrated all at one time. I am very happy with my fiancee but I am starting to get overwhelmed with “family things” My sister won’t be coming because she says she has no more vacation time and it is my fault because she didn’t know anything about my wedding until she got the invitation. Truth is my mom, other sister, and 1 brother knew a couple of months ago but she will not allow me to have her phone number so I couldn’t call her. She lives less than 5 miles from my gossipy mom, so I know she knew. Now my fiancees brother decided that he may melt if he enters a Catholic Church so he refuses to come. I am not upset that my sister isn’t coming, I am more upset that she thinks she can say it is all my fault she isn’t coming. Truth be told, I am relieved she isn’t going to be there because she is a snob. But I am upset that his brother won’t come. I thought we were getting past all this when he stopped calling me “that Catholic woman” and acknowledged I had a name(just a couple of months ago). I have always been nice to him even though he started all kinds of rumors about me from our first date 6 years ago(we actually stayed out all night discussing our opinions on religion, politics and child rearing.) you can just imagine what he told his mom we were doing. I have worked my bum off getting ready for this wedding. I had to alter the girls dresses, find shoes for them, teach his daughter how to walk in the shoes (what a chore!!! I felt like the wicked step mother, but I was trying to help her) and a million other things. I am sorry I just looked at this and I sound like a whiner. Has anyone else had similiar experience with weddings bringing out the worst in their family? At this point my mom is still making up excuses not to come one minute and the next, she is trying to tell me how to do everything…and what she wants to provide…I actually felt bad because she was being nice but I had to refuse almost everything she offered. She doesn’t understand that weddings are very different in this part of the country and she had never been to a second wedding before. Any advice from you married folks out there?
 
Just relax and try to enjoy this time. Your families problems can stay with them. Ignore them. Just concentrate on each other now, and write us after the wedding!

This to shall pass. The real problems will not happen until after this smoke has cleared!😉
 
I think everyone has some kind of “crisis” surrounding their wedding. Sometimes it’s family, sometimes it’s a mix up with the venue, sometimes it’s a missing dress, lol.

Take a deep breath and focus… now answer this question to yourself:

why am I getting married?

I somehow doubt that your answer will have anything to do with your family and everything to do with your fiance. He deserves all of you, now and forever. And you deserve all of him too.

Focus on eachother. A sacramental marriage can take place with just you and your fiance, a priest, and 2 witnesses. Everything else is an extra.
**
Malia
**
**
 
Believe it or not, the wedding isn’t the most important day of your life. The days of marriage after it will be even more wonderful! Keep your eye on the prize, union with your beloved.

Enjoy all the good things about your wedding day, and be at peace knowing you have the rest of your life to attend to the details that didn’t fall into place as you would have had them do.

I hope you will be as happy in marriage as I am!

cheddar
 
Congratulations on your marriage. I’m sure by the time it rolls around, you will have all the kinks worked out. It will be a wonderful day.

Eamon
 
Please do not give the rudeness of other people the power to ruin your special day.
 
It’s easy for me to say, but just make it all about you, your beloved finance, and God, and you’ll be OK. It was stories like yours that caused me to elope. 😉 We were not practicing Catholics at the time, and have since had our marriage validated, but I’ve never regretted my decision. Weddings are a pain in the butt. But in a few months, you won’t even remember any of the bad stuff, just the look in your husbands eyes as you say your vows. :love: :love: Ah, that was such a fun day…❤️
 
You can’t make people do something they don’t or won’t do. Just be gracious offer the invitation, it is up to the invitee to accept. They will need to live with their decisions. As for your mother, graciously accept her advice, but remember you are making the decisions. Most of all enjoy the day!
 
Congratulations. Best of luck. Pray and it will be fine… nerves are just jumpy!
 
Oh yeah. A couple weeks before my wedding I thought the whole shebang was going to fall apart. But, somehow, everything turned out ok. Don’t stress. I know, easy for me to say, but honestly, if I had known how well everything was going to work out I wouldn’t have been so darn freaked out. Just focus on you and your soon to be husband. It’s all about you and your marriage and nothing else will matter when it’s all over.

Congratulations and I’ll say a prayer everything turns out well. 🙂
 
go rent Father of the Bride (either one) and enjoy an evening off. then the next day sit down and make 2 lists: one of all these aggravations that are real problems that must be addressed, and another one of all the aggravations that are just nuisances and should be ignored. If someone chooses not to come, that is their business, no need to speculate or fret about the reason. Just tell them you will miss them and enjoy the people who do come.

A year from now most of those things you thought were so important and crucial won’t mean a thing, and won’t even be remembered.
 
Blest, Sweetie, you are doing what it takes some women six months to do!!!

It won’t matter a year from now who attends and who doesn’t, xecept for you and your soon-to-be hubby and kids.

God will be there, and He’s always the best Guest who brings the Best Present.:blessyou:
 
Thank God for you wonderful people!!! I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to let all the lunacy that I knew would happen bother me. I am so back on track now. You guys are wonderful!!! My marriage is more important than all this stuff! I am glad we chose to have a very informal reception no matter what mom thinks. I admit I really want to call future BIL and tell him how bad he is hurting his brother, the man I love, but that would just make him madder than he is. I am counting on you guys for the next 18 days to keep me sane though. I trust you will kick my sorry butt into shape if I lose perspective again!!!

Hugs and kisses to all my CA pals!!!
 
40.png
BlestOne:
Thank God for you wonderful people!!! I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to let all the lunacy that I knew would happen bother me. I am so back on track now. You guys are wonderful!!! My marriage is more important than all this stuff! I am glad we chose to have a very informal reception no matter what mom thinks. I admit I really want to call future BIL and tell him how bad he is hurting his brother, the man I love, but that would just make him madder than he is. I am counting on you guys for the next 18 days to keep me sane though. I trust you will kick my sorry butt into shape if I lose perspective again!!!

Hugs and kisses to all my CA pals!!!
Click to expand...
You WILL lose your perspective again! 😉 But don’t worry, you’ll get it right back. Weddings are STRESSFUL. However, they are simply not about the details, they are about the sacrament of marriage.

The next 18 days will be a big roller coaster, but just keep reminding yourself that the prize is waiting for you at the end of all the obstacles, trials and emotions. Your beloved will be yours and you will be your beloved’s…the whole point of all this planning and preparation. Even though it’s an important day, it is only one day…the rest of your life is what you get to live together and look forward to, long after the guests have gone. 🙂

And btw, count on something going wrong. I don’t know of a single wedding that didn’t have a last minute minor crisis. 🙂 Just don’t panic and don’t be disappointed–the world won’t end if someone has the wrong colored boutineer…or whatever! You’ll still be married when it is all said and done, perfect day or not! (My wedding had quite it’s share of “minor crises.” 🙂 They are all very funny stories we cherish now, two years later.)
 
the wedding prep and hooplah is the final exam for your marriage prep course. If you can survive this together you can survive anything together, including wallpapering the kitchen and raising kids.
 
Yep, all of the above. 2 days before my wedding, my FIL invited 30 extra people to the wedding. This was after the final head count for the caterer. Talk about having a nervous breakdown.

Don’t even worry about your sister. My husband has a sister who is just like that. Her issues are her issues, not yours. You did nothing wrong.

And the poster above me who pointed out that in the grand scheme of your marriage this is only one day, hit the nail on the head.

Best wishes. I’ll keep you in my prayers. 🙂
 
OK we are down to 13 days…and guess what little friend came to visit. Yup…puts my fertile time right there… Well, to boot, one of my best friends just had to tell me she is thinking of leaving her husband (I’m not exactly fond of him but that isn’t the point) I sat there dumbfounded then he came and sat down with us…talk about not knowing what to say. Not that I needed to say anything, he was too busy with his “woe is me” routine I have heard one too many times (lost his job again) this is like the 3rd time since they were married almost 4 yrs ago. I am vowing not to get involved until after the honeymoon. Over 1/2 the guests have not responded and I am really wondering how many friends I really have. Please tell me this is common…I really don’t want to think I have few friends, just that they are procrastinators… Anyway the good news is that the hotel confirmed the reservations for all the out of towners and I ordered my flowers on Saturday. Geez…I am exhausted!!!
 
40.png
BlestOne:
OK we are down to 13 days…and guess what little friend came to visit. Yup…puts my fertile time right there… Well, to boot, one of my best friends just had to tell me she is thinking of leaving her husband (I’m not exactly fond of him but that isn’t the point) I sat there dumbfounded then he came and sat down with us…talk about not knowing what to say. Not that I needed to say anything, he was too busy with his “woe is me” routine I have heard one too many times (lost his job again) this is like the 3rd time since they were married almost 4 yrs ago. I am vowing not to get involved until after the honeymoon. Over 1/2 the guests have not responded and I am really wondering how many friends I really have. Please tell me this is common…I really don’t want to think I have few friends, just that they are procrastinators… Anyway the good news is that the hotel confirmed the reservations for all the out of towners and I ordered my flowers on Saturday. Geez…I am exhausted!!!
Click to expand...
Get your matron of honor to call the people who haven’t responded and get a firm yes or no.

I know your daughters are in the wedding, so if you don’t have a matron of honor, ask your closest friend who is coming to make these phone calls for you.

My husband and I were/are invited to several weddings this summer, but we also moved this summer and so some of the invitations were sent to the wrong address, didn’t reach us in time, or whatever else. Fortunately, we received phone calls in those cases and I was able to say that YES we were coming in each case! 😉

Yes you have friends and yes you are loved. Most importantly, you are adored and cherished by the man you are marrying and he is the one to whom this day will matter most. It doesn’t matter if “everyone” is there or not, what matters is that the two of you exchange your vows and commit to one another for the rest of your lives.

Do not stress about your fertile time, either. Discern between the two of you whether you are trying to acheive or if you have just cause to avoid. I know several couples who had just reason to avoid and needed to do so on their wedding night. Remember that marital intimacy is different than pre-marital intimacy and even if you have to abstain on that night, you can still love each other in a more special way as husband and wife. And if you truly feel you have every reason to try and acheive, then embrace the beauty of your newfound ability to love one another and place all your trust in the Lord! 🙂
 
congratulations, blestone!!!

i’m not married, but a little over a year ago my cousin did. it was an inter-racial marriage, and boy were there issues!!! (not to mention issues within our own family!!!) i’m sorry to say my cousin wasn’t able to enjoy her wedding as she should have.

don’t try to please everyone, because you won’t. do what is right, and enjoy!!! we’re praying for you!!!
 
I hope this helps you prepare for this great and high sacrament you are about to recieve from Christ, it is taken from Pope VIII Encyclical, Traditi Humilitati :
10. We also want you to imbue your flock with reverence for the sanctity of marriage so that they may never do anything to detract from the dignity of this sacrament. They should do nothing that might be unbecoming to this spotless union nor anything that might cause doubt about the perpetuity of the bond of matrimony. This goal will be accomplished if the Christian people are accurately taught that the sacrament of matrimony ought to be governed not so much by human law as by divine law and that it ought to be counted among sacred, not earthly, concerns. Thus, it is wholly subject to the Church. Formerly marriage had no other purpose than that of bringing children into the world. But now it has been raised to the dignity of a sacrament by Christ the Lord and enriched with heavenly gifts. Now its purpose is not so much to generate offspring as to educate children for God and for religion. This increases the number of worshippers of the true divinity. It is agreed that the union of marriage signifies the perpetual and sublime union of Christ with His Church; as a result, the close union of husband and wife is a sacrament, that is, a sacred sign of the immortal love of Christ for His spouse. Therefore, teach the people what is sanctioned and what is condemned by the rules of the Church and the decrees of the Councils.[16] Also explain those things which pertain to the essence of the sacrament. Then they will be able to accomplish those things and will not dare to attempt what the Church detests. We ask this earnestly of you because of your love of religion. 👍 RC
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top