2 Wedding Anniversaries

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Veronica97

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My 25th wedding anniversary is coming up next week. We were married in a Protestant Church (I was unbaptized and my husband was a baptized Catholic and divorced from a baptized Catholic). In other words, he was still married in the eyes of the Church. 15 years ago, my husband’s first marriage was annulled, we had our marriage convalidated, and I was baptized and confirmed in the Catholic Church. All these years we continued to celebrate our original wedding date instead of the convalidation date, but I displayed pictures from both wedding ceremonies for several years. I don’t think I realized until just this past year how very wrong our first wedding had been. I knew that our marriage wasn’t right in the eyes of the Church–that’s why we made it right. We were both happy at our convalidation ceremony–I wore a fancy dress and carried a bouquet. Our son wore a little carnation and we had a party afterwards at our house. But it just didn’t all “click” until recently what a grave sin the first wedding was. I felt so guilty I even took our first wedding picture down and replaced it with a picture from the Catholic wedding. Now our 25th civil wedding anniversary is coming up and my husband is hurt that I don’t want to celebrate. We would never have a party or anything–just maybe exchange gifts and go out to dinner–just the 2 of us. It seems like a sin to celebrate our first wedding. I’m glad things worked out, but I’d never do it that way again. What should I do? Should we acknowledge the anniversary or not?
 
I can see your side and your husband’s. You committed to each other 25 years ago and had a child. You are still together. In this time, that’s an achievement!

Simultaneously, the Holy Spirit moved the two of you and you married in the eyes of the Church! How wonderful.

So, looks to me like you are doing very well. What about going to confession, discuss it with the priest? Go to Mass and communion the day of the anniversay and have a nice dinner and a movie that night. Celebrate the fact that you have each other…and God…in your lives.
 
Praise God that He gave you all the grace that He did! Many people do not see the traps they have been saved from through God’s grace. You have now the special grace to see one of them. Thank God.

BTW - Your marriage became a sacrament when you were baptized (not at the convalidation - I know, it’s complex).

If it really still bothers you, you can discuss it with your priest, but all sin from your “old life” was washed away at baptism.
 
aicirt said:
I can see your side and your husband’s. You committed to each other 25 years ago and had a child. You are still together. In this time, that’s an achievement!

Simultaneously, the Holy Spirit moved the two of you and you married in the eyes of the Church! How wonderful.

So, looks to me like you are doing very well. What about going to confession, discuss it with the priest? Go to Mass and communion the day of the anniversay and have a nice dinner and a movie that night. Celebrate the fact that you have each other…and God…in your lives.
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I agree.

OP------
I also have two anniversaries. One 20 years ago, and one 9 years ago.

I celebrate both, but I count from the first one.

Why? Because that is when my husband and I joined together and started our family. I describe our second wedding as “when we invited God into our marriage.”

My parents also had two days. They happened to fall on the same date, and were only one year apart. They always counted from the first date.

Remember at the end of Confession, go in peace, your sins are forgiven? That means you. YOU are forgiven. YOU go in peace.
 
I’m for 2 celebrations.

One for when your family started regardless of circumstances. The other for when you acknowledged it’s importantce to do it God’s way.

Perhaps just call each of these unions something different.

I would celebrate a 25 year committment! We live in a world that does not appreciate such.

Then I would celebrate your 15 year committment to your marriage under God’s authority.

Both are amazing amazing accomplishments.
 
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