20: the age of change

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SilverLight

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I am 20 and because of this I am finding my own path and setting my own values and rules for my self. I find it hard though when people keep telling me what is right and wrong because half of the things they also do are wrong in some sence. It also leaves me torn inside between being myself and how the world wants me to be and also my family.

Some do not agree with me or see things the way I do and im ok with this but I do not want to let these people down. I also notice that in some areas I am smarter then others my age or wiser to a degree. I am also starting to look back at events that have happened to me and see that some are not all by chance.

I am just trying to get my own view on things but im a happy person so I go with what I get.
 
SilverLight said:
I am 20 and because of this I am finding my own path and setting my own values and rules for my self. I find it hard though when people keep telling me what is right and wrong because half of the things they also do are wrong in some sence. It also leaves me torn inside between being myself and how the world wants me to be and also my family.

Some do not agree with me or see things the way I do and im ok with this but I do not want to let these people down. I also notice that in some areas I am smarter then others my age or wiser to a degree. I am also starting to look back at events that have happened to me and see that some are not all by chance.

I am just trying to get my own view on things but im a happy person so I go with what I get.
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I found that reading about the lives of the saints was very helpful at that age. A lot of them went through various degrees of outside pressure as well, from their families, their friends, the culture… and it was interesting to see how they coped with them.

If you do not already have a patron saint or saints, you may find it helpful to pick some out. Like you, most of the saints were very joyful people! 🙂
 
SilverLight said:
I am 20 and because of this I am finding my own path and setting my own values and rules for my self. I find it hard though when people keep telling me what is right and wrong because half of the things they also do are wrong in some sence. It also leaves me torn inside between being myself and how the world wants me to be and also my family.

Some do not agree with me or see things the way I do and im ok with this but I do not want to let these people down. I also notice that in some areas I am smarter then others my age or wiser to a degree. I am also starting to look back at events that have happened to me and see that some are not all by chance.

I am just trying to get my own view on things but im a happy person so I go with what I get.
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hate to tell you this and I am 43 and still get it. People always like to think they know best even if it comes over wrong. We learn the art of listening and take on board what they are saying, Trying it and see what works and don’t work. Some of it will and some of it won’t. It is a life time journey as with faith
 
Havard said:
I found that reading about the lives of the saints was very helpful at that age. A lot of them went through various degrees of outside pressure as well, from their families, their friends, the culture… and it was interesting to see how they coped with them.

If you do not already have a patron saint or saints, you may find it helpful to pick some out. Like you, most of the saints were very joyful people! 🙂
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I do I mean I chose Joan of Arc as my saint for conformation
 
SilverLight said:
I am 20 and because of this I am finding my own path and setting my own values and rules for my self. I find it hard though when people keep telling me what is right and wrong because half of the things they also do are wrong in some sence.
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Why would you seek your own path: “Stand at the crossroads and look, ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way lies, and walk in it, and find rest for your soul” Jeremiah 6:16

Why would you set your own values? What has value is not for us to make, but God has given things an objective value. We find true value when we seek what He values, and recognize that God is love, and He is the supreme value.

When others deviate from the truth, that is sad, but when they speak the truth, listen to what they say, even when you see their lives don’t measure up to it. Do not let others scandalize you or lead you away from the Truth.
 
SilverLight said:
I am 20 and because of this I am finding my own path and setting my own values and rules for my self. I find it hard though when people keep telling me what is right and wrong because half of the things they also do are wrong in some sence. It also leaves me torn inside between being myself and how the world wants me to be and also my family.

Some do not agree with me or see things the way I do and im ok with this but I do not want to let these people down. I also notice that in some areas I am smarter then others my age or wiser to a degree. I am also starting to look back at events that have happened to me and see that some are not all by chance.

I am just trying to get my own view on things but im a happy person so I go with what I get.
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Sounds like you are a somewhat introspective person. I have found that to be one of my most helpful qualities. I can look at my mistakes, consider what I am doing, correct my course, etc. without needing the advice of others as much.

You’re growing up. There’s a big maturing that happens from about 17-18 through 21. I think you are going to be just fine, sounds as if you have a good head on your shoulders.

I like that you said you are a happy person. I have a son who will be 21 in a month and he has always been an easygoing guy, with a sunny outlook. He just flows along, doing his own thing, usually happy, gets along with most people. That’s a good quality to have too.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Sounds like you are a somewhat introspective person. I have found that to be one of my most helpful qualities. I can look at my mistakes, consider what I am doing, correct my course, etc. without needing the advice of others as much.

You’re growing up. There’s a big maturing that happens from about 17-18 through 21. I think you are going to be just fine, sounds as if you have a good head on your shoulders.

I like that you said you are a happy person. I have a son who will be 21 in a month and he has always been an easygoing guy, with a sunny outlook. He just flows along, doing his own thing, usually happy, gets along with most people. That’s a good quality to have too.
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Thank you and yes I like to think what my actions will lead to befor doing them.
 
DL82 said:
Why would you seek your own path: “Stand at the crossroads and look, ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way lies, and walk in it, and find rest for your soul” Jeremiah 6:16

Why would you set your own values? What has value is not for us to make, but God has given things an objective value. We find true value when we seek what He values, and recognize that God is love, and He is the supreme value.

When others deviate from the truth, that is sad, but when they speak the truth, listen to what they say, even when you see their lives don’t measure up to it. Do not let others scandalize you or lead you away from the Truth.
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Because I as an individual and person need to live my life the best I can and come to my own conclusions.
 
SilverLight said:
Because I as an individual and person need to live my life the best I can and come to my own conclusions.
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As Catholics, our faith does not come to us as individuals (although of course each individual is responsible for his own soul) but comes to us as a corporate body, as the Church, the Body of Christ. You are not alone in this.

Why come to your own conclusions, when so many have lived before and give wise counsel, ‘Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man’ Ecclesiastes 12:13

I realize I have an unusual perspective. I suppose when I was your age I thought the way you do. I am blessed to have been mentored by many holy Catholics from sub-saharan Africa, who have a whole different perspective on individuality and community. God bless you on your journey.
 
DL82 said:
As Catholics, our faith does not come to us as individuals (although of course each individual is responsible for his own soul) but comes to us as a corporate body, as the Church, the Body of Christ. You are not alone in this.

Why come to your own conclusions, when so many have lived before and give wise counsel, ‘Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man’ Ecclesiastes 12:13

I realize I have an unusual perspective. I suppose when I was your age I thought the way you do. I am blessed to have been mentored by many holy Catholics from sub-saharan Africa, who have a whole different perspective on individuality and community. God bless you on your journey.
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Thank you and all the light in the world to you friend.
 
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