20 yrs of searching

[SpaceGirl]

Hi, I am a new girl and afraid i dont know where to post anything as there are so many boards! So if I post any of my many questions in the wrong forum feel free to move them!

When I was in college I talked with a man on the net ; be told me about Islam. I converted months later. I married a Muslim man 3 years later (not A PRACTICING or knowledgeable man in Islam) i FOUND MYSELF a year into the marriage wanting to go back to the church. I came back, my sins forgiven. And I still search.

I have spent a good 20 years searching, and I still today search. Is this normal? Do we always search? Will my search end when I die?

Sometimes I find my eyes on Islam but it does not fulfill me; if it did I would not be here.
Sometimes I feel the church does not fulfill me. I do not see the pope or the church as infallible. (sp?) I have problems with parts of the church…is this normal?

Any advice…

Wanted to add…I started searching at about age 20, I never fully understood the church to begin with, my parents were not close followers. This is one reason Islam sounded good. It was easy to understand…if that makes sense?

 

[Aureole]

Glory to Jesus Christ.

Welcome to the CA forums SpaceGirl! Don’t worry so much about getting the correct forums all the time, the moderators can move things around if it’s in the wrong place. For future reference though, threads like this would go in “The Back Fence”. It will be helpful for you to read this post explaining how to choose your forum wisely.

It sounds to me like you’re searching for God. Like many of us you’re still searching for Him. It’s quite normal to want to find God, in fact it would be abnormal not to.

It’s also common to have problems with parts of the Church, especially papal and Church infallibility. You should research some of the difficulties you have with the Church. Since you admit that you never fully understood the Church your difficulties could just stem from that. You should also pray fervently about it; God will lead you to Himself.

I hope you’ll find the forums helpful.

God bless you.

 

[Saint_Augustin]

I have spent a good 20 years searching, and I still today search. Is this normal?

When I was a young teenager, I started my spiritual quest with the Tibetan style of life and philosophy (mysticism). Later, I became a “Born Again” Christian and finally I returned to Catholicism after 30 years of Protestantism. Yes, it’s normal.

Do we always search? Will my search end when I die?

In Jesus Christ I found what I was searching for: someone who love me. The tangible incarnation of God’s love. This man who touched the leprous and was not afraid of the infection or to be labeled as an impure (unclean) by the priests.

*Lev 13:43 And the priest perceive this, he shall condemn him undoubtedly of leprosy which is risen in the bald part.
Lev 13:44 Now whosoever shall be defiled with the leprosy, and is separated by the judgment of the priest:
Lev 13:45 Shall have his clothes hanging loose, his head bare, his mouth covered with a cloth: and he shall cry out that he is defiled and unclean.

Mat 8:2 And behold a leper came and adored him, saying: Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean.
Mat 8:3 And Jesus stretching forth his hand, touched him, saying: I will, be thou made clean. And forthwith his leprosy was cleansed.*

Sometimes I find my eyes on Islam but it does not fulfill me; if it did I would not be here.
Sometimes I feel the church does not fulfill me. I do not see the pope or the church as infallible. (sp?)

Let Him show you what love is. Would you touch a leprous?

I have problems with parts of the church…is this normal?

Yes.

 

[Malcolm_McLean]

Hi, I am a new girl and afraid i dont know where to post anything as there are so many boards! So if I post any of my many questions in the wrong forum feel free to move them!

When I was in college I talked with a man on the net ; be told me about Islam. I converted months later. I married a Muslim man 3 years later (not A PRACTICING or knowledgeable man in Islam) i FOUND MYSELF a year into the marriage wanting to go back to the church. I came back, my sins forgiven. And I still search.

I have spent a good 20 years searching, and I still today search. Is this normal? Do we always search? Will my search end when I die?

Sometimes I find my eyes on Islam but it does not fulfill me; if it did I would not be here.
Sometimes I feel the church does not fulfill me. I do not see the pope or the church as infallible. (sp?) I have problems with parts of the church…is this normal?

Any advice…

Wanted to add…I started searching at about age 20, I never fully understood the church to begin with, my parents were not close followers. This is one reason Islam sounded good. It was easy to understand…if that makes sense?

Apologetics is about intellectual defence of the faith, not about personal dilemmas. I’m not sure what the appropraite forum would be. But your post is valuable and worth answering.

if you go into a religion, either Islam or Christianity, looking for personal fulfillment then you will spend a long time searching before you find it. Just as if you join a club “looking for friends” you will find it much harder to make friends than if you join to play bridge.

Islam is of course a deficient faith, but it must have something going for it to have endured for so long. In the present political climate it is probaly best to give it a wide berth, or you may find yourself involved in controversies that you unprepared for.

I am irritated by “infallibility”. I believe it, but I don’t think the term is a very good way of presenting the teaching at all. All we are really saying is that the chuch is the church and still recognisably the organisation founded by Jesus, and still promotes something sufficently close to His teachings to be effective.

Many Catholics have problems with some teachings. These can be intellectual, or they can be because a particualr teaching, usually over sexual ethics, doesn’t seem to be helpful for their personal situation. The most important thing is to be honest about these, so that self-interest is no cloaked in specious theological justifications, nor reservations swept under the carpet.

 

[Saint_Augustin]

I do not see the pope or the church as infallible. (sp?)

The Pope is infallible only in matter of ***Moral ***or ***Ethics ***and in collegiality with all the other bishops. He is not alone with this burden.

Can the Pope be wrong in matter of politics? Yes.

Can the Pope answer all questions? No.

Can the Pope sin like us? Yes, and he have a private, personal, and official confessor appointed for him. He is confessing all his sins regularly.

 

[Atreyu]

Hi, I am a new girl and afraid i dont know where to post anything as there are so many boards! So if I post any of my many questions in the wrong forum feel free to move them!

When I was in college I talked with a man on the net ; be told me about Islam. I converted months later. I married a Muslim man 3 years later (not A PRACTICING or knowledgeable man in Islam) i FOUND MYSELF a year into the marriage wanting to go back to the church. I came back, my sins forgiven. And I still search.

I have spent a good 20 years searching, and I still today search. Is this normal? Do we always search? Will my search end when I die?

Sometimes I find my eyes on Islam but it does not fulfill me; if it did I would not be here.
Sometimes I feel the church does not fulfill me. I do not see the pope or the church as infallible. (sp?) I have problems with parts of the church…is this normal?

Any advice…

Wanted to add…I started searching at about age 20, I never fully understood the church to begin with, my parents were not close followers. This is one reason Islam sounded good. It was easy to understand…if that makes sense?

Hey Space Girl, welcome to the forums! If you haven’t done so already, I encourage you to go over to the library at Catholic Answers and check out some of the articles there. Specifically, there are several articles on the Papacy that you can check out. Many of these articles use quotes from the early church fathers, such as Ignatius of Antioch, Irenaeus of Lyons and Augustine of Hippo. I encourage you to learn about these guys; about their lives and about their faith. They were undoubtedly Catholic in their practice; and I find it such a good witness for the Church that these guys - writing up to 1900 years ago - held an identical faith to the Church today!

 

[Della]

The Pope is infallible only in matter of ***Moral ***or ***Ethics ***and in collegiality with all the other bishops. He is not alone with this burden.

Can the Pope be wrong in matter of politics? Yes.

Can the Pope answer all questions? No.

Can the Pope sin like us? Yes, and he have a private, personal, and official confessor appointed for him. He is confessing all his sins regularly.

I think you mean the pope’s infallibility only extends to matters of faith and morals. Yes?

This charism is a “negative” one in that the pope cannot invent new doctrine or dogma, but only declare that doctrines already held by the Church are infallibly true. So, there’s no new teachings in the Church, be they doctrines or dogmas.

And welcome to the forum, SpaceGirl!

 

[yeshua]

Hi, I am a new girl and afraid i dont know where to post anything as there are so many boards! So if I post any of my many questions in the wrong forum feel free to move them!

…

Any advice…

Wanted to add…I started searching at about age 20, I never fully understood the church to begin with, my parents were not close followers. This is one reason Islam sounded good. It was easy to understand…if that makes sense?

SpaceGirl,

Welcome to the Forums, Peace and Christ be with you. Your honesty with your background is admirable, it takes a strong will to recount an experience such as yours.

Despite your fascinating experience, you fully demonstrate yourself as each of us are, whether we know a faith or not: you are a human being! No matter how much searching you do, doubt is a fallen part of our nature, and Satan is trying his best to increase this attribute any way he can. I am not saying that your doubt and searching is his origin, no, I am grateful you have found yourself back in Christ’s arms, Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant, what have you. What I am saying is this tendency to long can lead you down a wrong path, to the wrong church, to the wrong god in your context (it might already have). The only answer, in my opinion for I certainly will not tell you what is in your best interest, is to pray. Clear your mind, focus your heart, and be mindful of your prayers. God will show you your answers in time, in the form of a miracle, a “sign,” a doctrine, a simple understanding, an insight that completes your picture.

You, SpaceGirl, represent where many people fall short with faith. “Sometimes I feel the church does not fulfill me.” Are you searching for a church, or are you searching for God? The church does not fulfill you, does God? Is the church supposed to “fulfill” us, make us warm and fuzzy, feel good about the world, or help us as sinners, recognize what will bring us out of our fallen nature? These questions you and God will have to answer, no one on the board can do that for you.

I pray for you and yours, faith is a matter that no one on this board can judge you on. I have a few final questions:

Is your journey based on understanding God or praising Him? Is your intent to be accepted by a church or by God?

I wish you the utmost best on your path, SpaceGirl. Remember: God is Love. I hope that can be a new starting point for you.

• Yeshua

 

[SpaceGirl]

Thanks for the replies!
God Bless.

 

[MyPhilomena]

Hi Space Girl.

When I was a teenager, as far as I can remember, I was searching too. I never understood the Church either, I also never fully understood the Catechism as well. I was interested in a prostetant church called " The Way In" It was very evagelical, and it appealed to my love of singing and fellowship.

I never did get batpized there. I stopped going there after a few months.

When I was 20, i met a man who was not a jw, but his parents were, and I got involved with them for a period of ten years, then I left, and I was baptized there.

To understand the Church teaches, try looking into the Catechism of the Catholic Church, talk to a priest in one of your local Catholic Churches near you. Ask about becoming a Catholic, and ask about stidying the Catechism.

I think that alot of us have done alot of searching in our lives, and spent alot of time looking for Christ, but not at the right place. It takes sometimes, years for us to find Christ and His True Church. Iam glad you came back.

God bless you!

MP

 

[FightingFat]

Hi, I am a new girl and afraid i dont know where to post anything as there are so many boards! So if I post any of my many questions in the wrong forum feel free to move them!

When I was in college I talked with a man on the net ; be told me about Islam. I converted months later. I married a Muslim man 3 years later (not A PRACTICING or knowledgeable man in Islam) i FOUND MYSELF a year into the marriage wanting to go back to the church. I came back, my sins forgiven. And I still search.

I have spent a good 20 years searching, and I still today search. Is this normal? Do we always search? Will my search end when I die?

I think so. I think that some people see faith as a set of rules to follow and it works to some extent on that level. For me personally, faith is about seeking understanding; it is about a search for the realities of my existance.

Sometimes I find my eyes on Islam but it does not fulfill me; if it did I would not be here.
Sometimes I feel the church does not fulfill me. I do not see the pope or the church as infallible. (sp?) I have problems with parts of the church…is this normal?

What is normal? It certainly is something you have in common with many other people!

Any advice…

Yeah, you need to study badly! Get yourself on a theology course NOW!!!

Wanted to add…I started searching at about age 20, I never fully understood the church to begin with, my parents were not close followers. This is one reason Islam sounded good. It was easy to understand…if that makes sense?

Definitely. The ritualism makes it a simple form of worship. You don’t have to look too far into its origins to see that it is merely a warped and simplified version of Christianity though!

 

[Saint_Augustin]

I think you mean the pope’s infallibility only extends to matters of faith and morals. Yes?

Yes.

Please be patient with me about my English because it’s not my native language.

Thank you very much.