22 Year Marriage Without Love

[Kathleena]

I’ve been married for 22 years to a “Christian” man who has continally avoided his family and the issues we’ve faced over the years we’ve been married. He is a heavy weekend drinker and does not see his 3 teenage children during the week due to his work shift (2nd) which he has chosen to work for 20 years. I feel abandoned, overwhelmed and hopeless that this situation will get better. I have sought out counseling for us 3 times during the years and he was always the one to quit.

I am now physically separated from him, as I just could not pretend to love him in front of my children. I was told by a Catholic Priest that he has shurked his responsiblities as a husband and a father and this is grounds for annullment. He counseled us for 6 months. Is this true? Is this something I can do based on his lack of concern for his family?

 

[Forest-Pine]

Shirking his responsibilities he might well be doing. It has no bearing on an annulment, though. What matters for an annulment is if your marriage was valid on the day you married. Did he have a similar pattern before you married? Did you marry in the church? If the priest has counseled you to seek an annulment, then follow up with him and he will guide you through the process. If you married out of the church (and were Catholic at the time you married) then it is a simple procedure. If you married in the church, then a tribunal will look into the information and decide if your marriage was valid on your wedding day.

 

[Kathleena]

We lived in separate states and I only saw him 2x per month. I didn’t really know what his “daily” life was like and how his family dealt with the issues. I was young (21), but less than 6 months after we married, I knew I made a mistake. He was a heavy drinker then, not a virgin, and a very selfish man. I didn’t know those things when I married him.

 

[Walking_Home]

I agree with Forest-Pine.

Follow thru with the counsel of your priest. You have done as much as you can with your marriage.