29 1/2 years for nothing husband infidelity

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tmlmcconville

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My husband of 29 1/2 years cheated on me while I was having cancer treatment. He then said he loved me and left her, so I used money I got from my Dads death to put down on home, and our daughters came home from college to help us move, 2 weeks later he deserted me. Please pray for him to come home so we can heal. Has anyone had this happen?

Teresa
 
All I can do is send you my empathy and prayers. Jesus, please help mend this broken family and ease the pain and suffering Teresa and her daughters are facing.

I am so, so sorry to hear of a sister in Christ suffering like this.
 
Blessed Mother and St. Joseph, please help, please ask God’s mercy on her! Please comfort her in her suffering, and protect her husband from spiritual peril. May he come home, may they be healed. Amen.
 
May God grant you the serenity to hear and accept his will for you and the courage to act on it.
 
tmlmcconville said:
My husband of 29 1/2 years cheated on me while I was having cancer treatment. He then said he loved me and left her, so I used money I got from my Dads death to put down on home, and our daughters came home from college to help us move, 2 weeks later he deserted me. Please pray for him to come home so we can heal. Has anyone had this happen?

Teresa
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Yes. I have a relative and two friends whose husband left them. Relative moved from her family with her two young kids only to find out gf lived five blocks away. That was the reason for the move. Other two were married 30+ years when spouses left them for other women. After depression and overcoming their fear (all of which is natural), they’ve gone on to have very interesting and fulfilling lives.
 
tmlmcconville said:
My husband of 29 1/2 years cheated on me while I was having cancer treatment. He then said he loved me and left her, so I used money I got from my Dads death to put down on home, and our daughters came home from college to help us move, 2 weeks later he deserted me. Please pray for him to come home so we can heal. Has anyone had this happen?

Teresa
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I’m so sorry to hear this!!! I will add both of you to my prayers!
 
You certainly have my prayers and my sympathy!

You are in a good position, though, to help the situation because you are suffering (both with the situation with your husband and your cancer).

Redemptive suffering is a forgotten subject in our modern world. Many souls could be saved through it. I would recommend you offer all your suffering in reparation for his sins and for his coversion. Always be patient, though. God has His timetable, we have ours. His is always followed to the “T” but He doesn’t publish ahead of time, unfortunately (or is that fortunately?). 🙂

Get others to offer their suffering for him, too. And their Masses. If I go to Mass today (I might at lunch, if work permits), I’ll offer mine for him. 🙂

God bless, and hang in there! God loves you and understands your suffering completely! 🙂
 
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to go through this.

There is a website called breastcancer.org. I know I’ve read several posts there about women whose husbands left them during their treatment. You may be able to get some advice there, although, most of what I’ve read, unfortunately, has been a case of responses along the line of “dump the guy, you deserve better”. I’m against that attitude, only because I know that in many cases the husbands have a difficult time accepting that their wife has cancer. Some guys tend to respond differently during such a crisis. From what I understand, men tend to want to fix things, but know that their hands are tied when faced with a life-threatening disease or illness. But, that most definitely does not excuse them of their actions.

Good luck and please keep us posted.

I’ll say a prayer for you and your family.
 
I have heard of this happening as well. Extreme stress can cause people to act in unpredictable ways, finding comfort in something that they know to be wrong. I will pray for you and your husband.
 
Oh Teresa, I am so sorry this happened to you. All I know is: your marriage was not “for nothing.” God knows exactly what you have been through and He will reward you GREATLY for devoting your life to another person. I’m sorry I don’t have any practical advice for the here and now, just know that no one on this planet has love for you like Jesus Christ does. This earth can just crush us sometimes, but there is hope when you seek HIM.

LOVE LOVE LOVE! I’ll pray for you!
Amy
 
Praying for you, please be open to forgiveness though it can be hard…
 
I am so sorry that this is both a mental and physical burden you must endure. Having only experienced the infidelity part, I pray that God be your resting place. Peace.
 
Dear Teresa,

I am SO sorry this has happened. I will definetly pray for you. I also want to mention, that although your post is short, you come across as a very good person. All you want is to heal. There is absolutely no biterness at all. I think you are a number 1 type of person

CM
 
Ma’am I am so sorry. I think I first came across this post in the Groups section and I wanted to advise you to post it here but didn’t have the access right to reply. I am happy you finally posted it here. I remember in the other post you said you had no friends in the area where you live. I hope you get a lot of consolation and make friends here.

May the peace of Christ be with you and may the good Lord help you to endure this trial.
 
When my wife was undergoing chemo a researcher from the university interviewed us as a couple. Mostly relationship questions.

I was curious and asked why. The answer shocked me. She said that husbands abandon their wives when they have breast cancer.

Try to understand your husbands feelings. Many cannot cope. Suggest he seek counseling or a men’s support group. Cancer affects the spouse too.
 
buffalo said:
When my wife was undergoing chemo a researcher from the university interviewed us as a couple. Mostly relationship questions.

I was curious and asked why. The answer shocked me. She said that husbands abandon their wives when they have breast cancer.

Try to understand your husbands feelings. Many cannot cope. Suggest he seek counseling or a men’s support group. Cancer affects the spouse too.
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For better or for worse
 
I think you’re being to nice and understanding. Doesn’t he believe in the part of the vows that say "in sickness and in health? My wife of 30 years just passed away after fighting non-hodgkins lymphoma, stage 4, for 5 months. I’m not bragging, but I stuck by her side all the way. I believed being with her at that time in her life was part of marriage. She died in March very peacefully and at home with my daughter and I. I wouldn’t have done it any other way. No body should abandon their spouse at their greatest time of need. I will pray for you and your husband, that he may come to his senses. God bless you and don’t give up. Dave
 
This is an interesting thread, and I’m so sorry for the pain that you’re in right now. I think about John Edwards and his affair when his wife was going through breast cancer, so there might be something to that. I wonder if it has to do with dying, and maybe a strange way of ‘‘coping’’ with that possibility, on your husband’s part. Or maybe just not being able to deal with the thought of losing you, so he abandoned you. I am not making excuses for his behavior, and needs to show remorse and repent, but there might be some at least ‘‘reasons’’ for the behavior. I will keep you in my prayers, and your husband. :gopray:
 
davy39 said:
I think you’re being to nice and understanding. Doesn’t he believe in the part of the vows that say "in sickness and in health? My wife of 30 years just passed away after fighting non-hodgkins lymphoma, stage 4, for 5 months. I’m not bragging, but I stuck by her side all the way. I believed being with her at that time in her life was part of marriage. She died in March very peacefully and at home with my daughter and I. I wouldn’t have done it any other way. No body should abandon their spouse at their greatest time of need. I will pray for you and your husband, that he may come to his senses. God bless you and don’t give up. Dave
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Please accept my condolence. You did the right thing by keeping to your marital vows. God bless you and your daughter.
 
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