29 1/2 years for nothing husband infidelity

  • Thread starter Thread starter tmlmcconville
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
davy39 said:
I think you’re being to nice and understanding. Doesn’t he believe in the part of the vows that say "in sickness and in health? My wife of 30 years just passed away after fighting non-hodgkins lymphoma, stage 4, for 5 months. I’m not bragging, but I stuck by her side all the way. I believed being with her at that time in her life was part of marriage. She died in March very peacefully and at home with my daughter and I. I wouldn’t have done it any other way. No body should abandon their spouse at their greatest time of need. I will pray for you and your husband, that he may come to his senses. God bless you and don’t give up. Dave
Click to expand...
*I’m very sorry for your loss, as well. You’re in my prayers. *
 
Hi Teresa,
First of all, I will keep you in my prayers.

My husband left me and our 2 children after he had a radiation prodedure done on his brain. They were treating his avm in his brain, it could have bled so they radiated it.
After a few wks he started drinking and hanging out with bad types again and he started smashing things in the house , threw stuff at me , heavy things… so I was the one who told him to stay elsewhere.

He never has come back and I feel so bad for throwing him out after his radiation… but he was also dating someone and he is with that person still… living at his mom’s house now in the same town here.

I go through the difficulty of being alone with my daughters and feel lonely … but I just keep praying for strength… and healing.
I do not feel divorce is my answer… I even paid a lawyer but could not go through with any steps.

My mom had breast cancer at 75 yrs of age and my dad did not leave although he felt SO bad that he had not made her get mammograms.
He felt sooo bad… ( he was a Dr)
so… it changed her … and everyone. She lived a long time after that till 87 and the cancer never came back.

I went and did whatever I could so I was not thinking of my husband all the time.
that made it easier. prayer, and keeping my rings on when I felt like it, taking a break from thinking about it sometimes too.

Not having the husband and dad of the child around is hard.
If these men think this solves a problem?
I dont know what to say beyond that I just keep counting my blessings… that does help.
I try to thank God daily and sometimes forget but thanking for 5 things a day no matter how small kept me from getting depressed.
Also reading prayers and affirmations, keeping EWTN on or positive movies and music …
getting out in nature, taking photos or drawing the highlights of the day.
I had a cancer surgery last summer… my husband did barely say a Word although he knew and so with the kids during my recovery I drew with them daily as it was summer and we could not do much… but we drew a notebook page of the ’ highlight ’ of the day.

Things like that we look at and the summer was full of color and laughs.
when my pain was bad, the kids helped me.
a couple of ladies from the kids 4H helped me with groceries, my married daughter cleaned.
Only God knows what is going to happen, dont lose faith.
Bless you.
 
peacefulpainter said:
Hi Teresa,
First of all, I will keep you in my prayers.

My husband left me and our 2 children after he had a radiation prodedure done on his brain. They were treating his avm in his brain, it could have bled so they radiated it.
After a few wks he started drinking and hanging out with bad types again and he started smashing things in the house , threw stuff at me , heavy things… so I was the one who told him to stay elsewhere.

He never has come back and I feel so bad for throwing him out after his radiation… but he was also dating someone and he is with that person still… living at his mom’s house now in the same town here.

I go through the difficulty of being alone with my daughters and feel lonely … but I just keep praying for strength… and healing.
I do not feel divorce is my answer… I even paid a lawyer but could not go through with any steps.

My mom had breast cancer at 75 yrs of age and my dad did not leave although he felt SO bad that he had not made her get mammograms.
He felt sooo bad… ( he was a Dr)
so… it changed her … and everyone. She lived a long time after that till 87 and the cancer never came back.

I went and did whatever I could so I was not thinking of my husband all the time.
that made it easier. prayer, and keeping my rings on when I felt like it, taking a break from thinking about it sometimes too.

Not having the husband and dad of the child around is hard.
If these men think this solves a problem?
I dont know what to say beyond that I just keep counting my blessings… that does help.
I try to thank God daily and sometimes forget but thanking for 5 things a day no matter how small kept me from getting depressed.
Also reading prayers and affirmations, keeping EWTN on or positive movies and music …
getting out in nature, taking photos or drawing the highlights of the day.
I had a cancer surgery last summer… my husband did barely say a Word although he knew and so with the kids during my recovery I drew with them daily as it was summer and we could not do much… but we drew a notebook page of the ’ highlight ’ of the day.

Things like that we look at and the summer was full of color and laughs.
when my pain was bad, the kids helped me.
a couple of ladies from the kids 4H helped me with groceries, my married daughter cleaned.
Only God knows what is going to happen, dont lose faith.
Bless you.
Click to expand...
Every time I read such stories, I always ask myself why why why??? Why would a man treat a woman like that?

I am happy your faith is still strong and I hope you continue to live happily with your children
 
Teresa, just one more thing to add to my prayer for you… my mother had a very close friend who experienced the same problem. Her husband left her for another woman when their 3 children were teenagers. This was a heartbreaking time for her, she suffered so much but prayed for him and stayed faithful to her marriage vows alone. Ten years later her husband repented. He re-established contact, went to reconcilliation and after a while they began living together again. I always had the deepest admiration for her faithfulness, through her life I began to discover the real meaning of the sacrament of marriage - what it meant to be a living sign of God’s faithful love, even in suffering, even when your spouse is unfaithful. I believe her husband was redeemed through her faith and acceptance.

Even if your husband doesn’t return to you, your 291/2 years have not been wasted. God never wastes one drop of love! Somehow, somewhere, He will bring some goodness from it.
 
In my earlier post, I hope I didn’t sound like I was a saint for being by my wifes side during her illness. Believe me, I’m not. I had prostate cancer ten years ago, and during that time, as always, she was my rock that kept my focused on survival instead of going out and doing something stupid.We had many years of a good and happy marriage after until her death on Mar 29 this year. Now I wonder just what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life, however long that may be. I really don’t want to be by myself, but sadly, there’s not much demand for 70 year old Catholics, who walk with a limp. I think we’re looked on as a liability, instead of something positive. Also, to be fair, I would probably compare someone new to my wife, and that wouldn’t be fair to them either. We all have had problems, and when it comes right down to it, our only answer is to pray to Jesus and the Holy Spirit to guide us. That’s what I’ve been doing now. Teresa, take care and I’ll be praying for you and your husband.
 
I am so sorry to hear of your situation. But know this, God never deserts you.

You and your family are in my prayers.
 
Teresa, I am so sorry for you too! I am going to pray for you in our adoration chapel. I have been married for 32 years and I can’t imagine how you are feeling. I guess can never know what He has in store for any of us.

I also have a friend whose husband left her for another woman when she was pregnant with their sixth child. She was so hurt too. She had to drive a bus for income. She said that she was finally able to pray for him. She prayed for thirty years and guess what? He repented to her and God and she forgave him. They are now back together, going to mass and enjoying all their children and grandchildren.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top