3 year old query on dying

[PotassiumCl]

so, we have a 3 year old daughter who recently has been talking of dying. in the past month her great grandmother, whom she never met but went to be with the family, passed away and a very dear friend of mine whom she is close to lost her brother. in addition, i bought her the “clown of God” and have been reading it to her. here is the problem, she tells me she is going to die soon to be with God and Jesus forever but will then come back to be with me. i told her that at some point we all will die etc…then last night she asked me when she would die and i explained that only God knows. has anyone else had these experiences with little ones? this is a bit unnerving as one can imagine.

 

[stacywva]

so, we have a 3 year old daughter who recently has been talking of dying. in the past month her great grandmother, whom she never met but went to be with the family, passed away and a very dear friend of mine whom she is close to lost her brother. in addition, i bought her the “clown of God” and have been reading it to her. here is the problem, she tells me she is going to die soon to be with God and Jesus forever but will then come back to be with me. i told her that at some point we all will die etc…then last night she asked me when she would die and i explained that only God knows. has anyone else had these experiences with little ones? this is a bit unnerving as one can imagine.

As a young child (being abused and abandoned by my biological parents and adopted by my grandparents) I had somewhat a similar experience…

However, mine was different… I had a fear that everyone would either leave me or die… even to this day I still have fear that such things will happen… my dog, my mom, that they will die and I will be without someone.

It’s a debilitating fear and I am hoping to get counseling soon to help me get over it…

 

[PotassiumCl]

i am sorry to hear about your situation. i too had/ have a similar fear due to parental nonsense. however, i think with our daughter it is sue to the recent deaths of the previously mentioned and that i am trying to help her build a relationship with our Lord. i pray she never has the fear that i have had over the years. she has a completely different life than i ever did, her biological grandfather (mine) spent/ is spending the majority of his life in prison. i guess i better do something with the ministering to those in prison:shrug:

 

[monicatholic]

Potassium, talk about dying is a big thing-- a developmental milestone, even. your little one is somewhat advanced in this (about 5 is a typical age for this stuff) but the recent deaths have got her thinking.

when my kids learn about dying, they have been concerned about their own deaths, too. it’s eerie and sad when they think they’re foretelling their own.

i thank God, all of my kids have been wrong.

here’s what i tell my kids about death: people die for only three reasons:
either they’re very very very sick
or very very very hurt
or very very very old.

then they’ll float scenarios-- getting run over by an army tank? very very hurt.

bit by a poisonous snake? very hurt that makes you very very sick.

Jesus dying on the cross? very very hurt.

etc.

when they’re sick, they’ll ask “is this sick enough to die?” my answer “no.” that’s a good experience because they can start to guage that very very sick is a lot sick.

so we pray that our loved ones will be safe from very very hurt and healthy from very very sick. we pray that any very old people we know will be ahppy, love God and feel loved.

and then it passes and we can get back to talking about living.

 

[bunnynessuk]

I would let her ask all the questions she wants try to elay her fear BUT if she think she is going to die I would ask her why - if she is having bad dreams about it, it might be worth taking her to see a nurse or doctor who can talk to her about it and explain that she isnt going to die etc!

My brother was terrified of fire when he was young - it gave him nightmares he didnt like to sleep etc so my mom arranged for him to visit the local fire station and they gave him a safety talk explained what they did (in kid terms) and showed him around the station and fire engine - this really helped!

So something like that might be good!

J

 

[Arlene]

My two girls have grown up knowing they have a big brother in Heaven, and they have been walking around cemeteries since they were toddlers. So we have always talked about death as easily as talking about the weather.

When we talk about heaven, we talk about how wonderful it will be to be with God, how there won’t be any pain or suffering, how someday we will all be together as a family as we were never on earth. When heaven sounds like such a cool place, is it any wonder that a child will say they want to go?

They know the reality is, babies die. Children die. They know that God has a plan for each one of us, some to die young, some to die very old. I tell my girls that I hope they will be very old ladies before they go to heaven, that I hope to be there first waiting for them. I tell them that if they die before I do I will be very very sad and I would miss them terribly, just like I miss their brother even though I know he’s in an awesome place.

 

[Litcrit]

Your daughter sounds very intelligent, wise, pious and mature!

She seems to have accepted the fact of death in a very healthy way.

You could tell her that she is unlikely to die just right now, and that she is most probably going to live a long and full life before that.

 

[PotassiumCl]

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I pray everyday, that we are leading her to the Lord. What would I do w/o CAF:shrug: