3 years ago today

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KendraDZ1902

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I’m sorry, y’all. If you are tired of reading about my divorce, don’t continue.

3 years ago today, I walked down the aisle and said my vows in front of my family and friends. (Protestant wedding, fyi) I held my fiancé’s hands and listened to the chaplain speak about the beauties of marriage, fiancé had a tear fall down his cheek as he whispered, “you’re beautiful.” We said our “I Dos,” kissed, and walked up the aisle with our family and friends clapping and smiling at us. Our reception afterwards was amazing and so much fun. I left being scared (moving 8 hours away from family) and excited to start my life with the man that had just married.

Fast forward to this horrible day: Still married, but divorce is in process. Still loving this man, even after all of the heart break. And in so much pain today. I can’t stop thinking about our wedding, I mean, it IS our anniversary.

Right before lunch today I started crying in class today. Instead of going to get some lunch and relax, I cried for an hour in my car. I tried to listen to the radio coming home, actually Pandora. Anyway, every freaking song made me think of his tail. Country, Pop, Rap, EVERYTHING. I even used up my skips and couldn’t skip songs anymore.

I don’t really have a question or really a point to this. I just needed to vent a bit. And I hope he had a really lousy day.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
I’m sorry, y’all. If you are tired of reading about my divorce, don’t continue.

3 years ago today, I walked down the aisle and said my vows in front of my family and friends. (Protestant wedding, fyi) I held my fiancé’s hands and listened to the chaplain speak about the beauties of marriage, fiancé had a tear fall down his cheek as he whispered, “you’re beautiful.” We said our “I Dos,” kissed, and walked up the aisle with our family and friends clapping and smiling at us. Our reception afterwards was amazing and so much fun. I left being scared (moving 8 hours away from family) and excited to start my life with the man that had just married.

Fast forward to this horrible day: Still married, but divorce is in process. Still loving this man, even after all of the heart break. And in so much pain today. I can’t stop thinking about our wedding, I mean, it IS our anniversary.

Right before lunch today I started crying in class today. Instead of going to get some lunch and relax, I cried for an hour in my car. I tried to listen to the radio coming home, actually Pandora. Anyway, every freaking song made me think of his tail. Country, Pop, Rap, EVERYTHING. I even used up my skips and couldn’t skip songs anymore.

I don’t really have a question or really a point to this. I just needed to vent a bit. And I hope he had a really lousy day.
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

How about some talk radio?
 
I wish I had a better way of comforting you. All I can offer is my sincere prayers to have peace and happiness in your life.
 
Hi Kendra,

((Hugs)) to you. I am so sorry for what you are going through. :hug1:

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Xantippe said:
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

How about some talk radio?
Click to expand...
If ever there was a program guaranteed to make a person homicidal by the end of the day… 😉 😛

On the other hand, homicidal might be better than depressed, and might put you in the right frame of mind for the upcoming court proceedings…hmmm… 😉

That having been said, something other than Pandora might not be a bad idea for the moment. Alternately, perhaps create a station based on an artist like, oh, say, Pink, especially for the next few months.

In all seriousness, I am so sorry you’re going through this. 😦 Is there anyone who could take you out for dinner tonight? It sounds like you really need it. (((hugs)))

You will get through this, I promise. I know it’s hard to believe now, but you will. Really. This pain will ease, and things will get better. Just hang in there.

More (((hugs))) .
 
My motto in times of pain and heartbreak is time heals all wounds. It wont likely be tomorrow and may not be for a long time but if you have the will, time will heal all wounds. Once you get the annulment, dont make the same mistake a second time. Find a more stable man that wont leave you. You have already spent too much time crying over this loser.
 
UbiCaritas said:
If ever there was a program guaranteed to make a person homicidal by the end of the day… 😉 😛

On the other hand, homicidal might be better than depressed, and might put you in the right frame of mind for the upcoming court proceedings…hmmm… 😉

That having been said, something other than Pandora might not be a bad idea for the moment. Alternately, perhaps create a station based on an artist like, oh, say, Pink, especially for the next few months.

In all seriousness, I am so sorry you’re going through this. 😦 Is there anyone who could take you out for dinner tonight? It sounds like you really need it. (((hugs)))

You will get through this, I promise. I know it’s hard to believe now, but you will. Really. This pain will ease, and things will get better. Just hang in there.

More (((hugs))) .
Click to expand...
Pink may be a very good artist to put on my Pandora! She’s sassy, I need sassy right now.

No dinner plans. I have to put my nose in this NA book and study for my upcoming skills test. 33 chapters and 3 days of clinicals in 2 weeks is NO JOKE.

I sure hope it eases. I was begging God for it to stop earlier.

Thanks for all of the prayers and support, y’all!
 
TexasCatholic13 said:
My motto in times of pain and heartbreak is time heals all wounds. It wont likely be tomorrow and may not be for a long time but if you have the will, time will heal all wounds. Once you get the annulment, dont make the same mistake a second time. Find a more stable man that wont leave you. You have already spent too much time crying over this loser.
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I sure have spent tons of tears on him! I’m hoping to run out of tears pretty soon. My mascara was terrible post lunch. I think I’m going to write on my dressing mirror in lipstick your motto. I need to repeat it over and over. Thank you. 🙂
 
Yes. Time. What you need is time. There is not one thing that anyone can say or do that will make this better for you. Though I have never been through a divorce, I did have a finance end our engagement and I thought I would never get over that.

You are going to think about this constantly right now. It will be the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning. One day, it will be the second thing. It will slowly fade away from your immediate thoughts and go into the background.

This is not the end of your life, it is only the beginning of a new chapter. You will see what God has in store for you.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
I’m sorry, y’all. If you are tired of reading about my divorce, don’t continue.

3 years ago today, I walked down the aisle and said my vows in front of my family and friends. (Protestant wedding, fyi) I held my fiancé’s hands and listened to the chaplain speak about the beauties of marriage, fiancé had a tear fall down his cheek as he whispered, “you’re beautiful.” We said our “I Dos,” kissed, and walked up the aisle with our family and friends clapping and smiling at us. Our reception afterwards was amazing and so much fun. I left being scared (moving 8 hours away from family) and excited to start my life with the man that had just married.

Fast forward to this horrible day: Still married, but divorce is in process. Still loving this man, even after all of the heart break. And in so much pain today. I can’t stop thinking about our wedding, I mean, it IS our anniversary.

Right before lunch today I started crying in class today. Instead of going to get some lunch and relax, I cried for an hour in my car. I tried to listen to the radio coming home, actually Pandora. Anyway, every freaking song made me think of his tail. Country, Pop, Rap, EVERYTHING. I even used up my skips and couldn’t skip songs anymore.

I don’t really have a question or really a point to this. I just needed to vent a bit. And I hope he had a really lousy day.
Click to expand...
Kendra, Keep posting. Every time you post it reminds me to pray for you. And to hug my wife a little tighter.
 
I’m not so much of a Pink fan, but Carrie Underwood has a few sassy songs that I like.

Btw, the new avatar is cute Kendra. Or at least I think it’s new? Prayers coming your way.
 
I’m so sorry to read this, Kendra. My heart breaks for divorcees 😦 Does your church have a support group that you can attend?
 
love you girl, you’re always in our prayers.
He’s the one losing out.
You’re going to be ok…one day at a time…
xo
Clare
 
Havard said:
I’m not so much of a Pink fan, but Carrie Underwood has a few sassy songs that I like.

Btw, the new avatar is cute Kendra. Or at least I think it’s new? Prayers coming your way.
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She’s sassy and so is Miranda Lambert. I ended up singing/screaming “Gunpowder & Lead” by her earlier. LOL.

Yes, new avatar. I thought I needed an update. lol.

Thanks for all of the prayers!! :love:
 
caitlinm said:
I’m so sorry to read this, Kendra. My heart breaks for divorcees 😦 Does your church have a support group that you can attend?
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When I received my papers in the mail, Father was the first person I called. He didn’t mention a support group, though.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
Pink may be a very good artist to put on my Pandora! She’s sassy, I need sassy right now.

No dinner plans.** I have to put my nose in this NA book and study for my upcoming skills test. 33 chapters and 3 days of clinicals in 2 weeks is NO JOKE. **

I sure hope it eases. I was begging God for it to stop earlier.

Thanks for all of the prayers and support, y’all!
Click to expand...
This actually may be a really, really good thing. I come from a very dysfunctional family–left home at 18, and moved across the country to get away. I put myself through school, and kept very busy indeed those first five years. (Had to, if I wanted to both graduate and eat; I worked 35-50 hours most weeks.) It was very, very stressful, but I was also so busy that I simply didn’t have time to focus too much on either the bad stuff in my past or the difficulties I was facing in the present: all I could do was focus on getting through that shift/passing that test/writing that paper. I kind of anesthetized myself with work and school, but it was a good kind of anesthesia in that at the end, I had a degree, no one could take it from me, I’d done it all myself, and I’d been on my own for five years and processed a lot of the stuff I needed to process in the background, so to speak, without being able to stew in it for days as I could have if I were less busy.

Oh, and one last thing: if by “NA” you mean “nurse’s assistant,” if it’s anything like when I took the test a decade ago, you’ll do perfectly well if you can show up and simply not die before you finish filling in the bubbles on the test. 😛 Seriously. As I recall, one of the more…outstanding…questions was “Mr. Smith is diabetic, and needs his feet cared for. What temperature is appropriate for a footbath? a) 212 degrees F b) 80-95 degrees F c) 45 degrees F d) 25 degrees F”

So help me, I’m not making that up. You’ll do well. Study, don’t fret, and you’ll do just fine.

(If “NA” stands for something else entirely, ignore this except to get a laugh out of that question. 😃 )

All of that having been said, I also couldn’t have gotten through all that if I didn’t have a few friends who could meet me for coffee or dinner from time to time. Could anyone do that with you this week? If not, could you pick someone from your class and ask her if she’d like to grab a coffee?

Best of luck to you, girl. You’re doing wonderfully!
 
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