35 in college. Want to change my major

[Kount_C]

Hello everyone. I am trying to think how to put this correctly.
but for about 15 years I worked in power plants. I started going back to school when I was 30 for mechancial engineering. After another internship this summer at a local power company. I feel like nothing has changed.

I have a lot of emotional baggage from having a father that worked in the power industry.
Basically everyone that my father worked with, him included, are all either alcoholics or divorced alcoholics. They all work 7/12;'s to get away from their wives and families.

I realized that I’ve become extremely unhappy in this enviroment. I am only 10 classes away from a Mecahnical Engineering degree, but Also about 14 classes away from a CS degree. I need something new. When I first went back I thought that I could work towards being like a pharmacist or physcial therapist. Until I saw the kind of people that go to those programs and how superior they are to me.

Its gotten to the point where I’ve got serious depression and self destruction issues.
Because my mom is relying on me to be able to help with money. Also, I did not want to drag this out until I am 37. I have been in school since I was 23. I also do not want to miss my opertunitites to become wed and have a family.

I pray about things, but everytime I do, they get worst for me. Has anyone been in a similiar situation about changing majors. I am tired of my body hurting from stress, thinking about going back to power plants. Amongst alcoholics and meth users, who share their wives. This is what it was like at my previous two plants. ( Sister companies)

Has anyone this similiar situation before ?

Thanks,

 

[C794]

If you won’t be happy with a mechanical engineering degree, then by all means change majors. Don’t worry about the extra time it will take. It’s worth not forcing yourself into an environment where you won’t be happy. Since there’s only a four class difference between that and a CS degree, you could switch to that – if CS really interests you. From your post you seem more interested in Physical Therapy or Pharmacy. If that’s the case, I strongly urge you to pursue it. Don’t worry about the people seeming superior to you; they aren’t, I’m sure your just as good. Also, that won’t determine how good you are – you’re more likely to excel at something you love, don’t worry about others. Also, it could be a field God is calling you to; if you’re interested and feel pulled in that direction, try it and work as hard as you can to succeed at it. I’m positive you will.

Regarding marriage: you can date and get married while in college. Many of my friends are currently doing so. I can’t give advice in how that would work, but if you want a family there’s no reason you can’t try to start now.

I’ll pray for you.

 

[ChrisRedfield47]

Choose which ever major you want. And pray about it. God will guide you.

 

[1newcatholic]

If you won’t be happy with a mechanical engineering degree, then by all means change majors. Don’t worry about the extra time it will take. It’s worth not forcing yourself into an environment where you won’t be happy. Since there’s only a four class difference between that and a CS degree, you could switch to that – if CS really interests you. From your post you seem more interested in Physical Therapy or Pharmacy. If that’s the case, I strongly urge you to pursue it. Don’t worry about the people seeming superior to you; they aren’t, I’m sure your just as good. Also, that won’t determine how good you are – you’re more likely to excel at something you love, don’t worry about others. Also, it could be a field God is calling you to; if you’re interested and feel pulled in that direction, try it and work as hard as you can to succeed at it. I’m positive you will.

Regarding marriage: you can date and get married while in college. Many of my friends are currently doing so. I can’t give advice in how that would work, but if you want a family there’s no reason you can’t try to start now.

I’ll pray for you.

This is excellent advice.

I worked in a factory setting for awhile and I too felt like some of my coworkers were really on the bottom run of the moral ladder, so I found another trade. Eventually I went back to school and pursued the things I loved. Fortunately I had a spouse who supported my dreams. It sounds like you are single, so you have the freedom to make your own choices. You don’t have to put all your relationships on hold while you pursue your education, however–don’t keep waiting to finish school to live your life. It doesn’t last forever.

 

[meltzerboy]

Hello everyone. I am trying to think how to put this correctly.
but for about 15 years I worked in power plants. I started going back to school when I was 30 for mechancial engineering. After another internship this summer at a local power company. I feel like nothing has changed.

I have a lot of emotional baggage from having a father that worked in the power industry.
Basically everyone that my father worked with, him included, are all either alcoholics or divorced alcoholics. They all work 7/12;'s to get away from their wives and families.

I realized that I’ve become extremely unhappy in this enviroment. I am only 10 classes away from a Mecahnical Engineering degree, but Also about 14 classes away from a CS degree. I need something new. When I first went back I thought that I could work towards being like a pharmacist or physcial therapist. Until I saw the kind of people that go to those programs and how superior they are to me.

Its gotten to the point where I’ve got serious depression and self destruction issues.
Because my mom is relying on me to be able to help with money. Also, I did not want to drag this out until I am 37. I have been in school since I was 23. I also do not want to miss my opertunitites to become wed and have a family.

I pray about things, but everytime I do, they get worst for me. Has anyone been in a similiar situation about changing majors. I am tired of my body hurting from stress, thinking about going back to power plants. Amongst alcoholics and meth users, who share their wives. This is what it was like at my previous two plants. ( Sister companies)

Has anyone this similiar situation before ?

Thanks,

The one thing that stood out to me when I read your post was your statement that people majoring in pharmacy and physical therapy appear superior to you. Nonsense! If you are motivated toward achieving your degree in either of these fields and they appeal to you, please go for it and you are bound to succeed. And don’t worry about your age. I’m a college professor and have some adult students in my classes who are older than you and have aspirations in many different fields, including the two you mention. It’s the drive and effort you expend that counts, not your age or your background.

 

[tawny]

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance & direction in your time of need. Praying for your intentions.

 

[sscott]

You are fairly close to two different degrees. Now you are unsure. My worry for you is that you have an aversion to finishing things, the reasons, are red herrings. There have to be places in engineering where the fellow employees are nice people you could work with. They don’t have to be your friends. Just work mates.
You should not try to pursue physical therapy because it is a very long course: eight years. Pharmacy may be faster but it’s still four years. Any profession has people you won’t like. There are nice people and dishonest people in every profession. Don’t keep changing direction. Pursue you nearest degree and get out and find a job. I am sure there are plenty of nice people you could work with. Speak to a counsellor at you college before you change yet again.

 

[Scottgun]

You are fairly close to two different degrees. Now you are unsure. My worry for you is that you have an aversion to finishing things, the reasons, are red herrings.

That is my concern as well. I would bring this up with a flesh-n-blood spiritual advisor and ask for a No-BS assessment.

 

[MaryElizabeth26]

I struggled for many years to find the right major for me. When I was younger (before college age), I wanted to become a veterinarian, but that wouldn’t work for me because I have allergies. Then, when I actually went to college, I was “undecided” for a long time. I took the Myers-Briggs Test but that just made me more confused. A major part of my struggle was depression and anxiety which caused me to withdraw from classes (both officially and unofficially - i.e. I just stopped attending). I cared little about homework or lectures. I lost interest in a subject fairly quickly. I changed from nursing to radiology to art curation to biology to history, etc.

I really was stuck on nursing for the longest time and decided to get my license to be a Certified Nursing Assistant to make sure I liked it. I loved my CNA studies and made high grades in both the sessions (and VERY high marks on my internship) but the actual practice of being a CNA wore me out to the point of a near-nervous breakdown. I knew I needed to really buckle down and get my A.A. and then make the determination as to what to do long term. I received my A.A. in May 2012 after studying for it 10 years off and on.

I eventually decided I would do very well with medical office or administration work because I’m excellent with computers and public speaking but I also love medical terms and healthcare. I went back to college to get my A.S. in Medical Office Administration. I took several classes and made straight As. I knew I was in the right field. I quickly applied to the 4-year university for Health Administration so I could continue and get my Bachelor’s degree. I got accepted early so I never got my A.S. degree. I am 1 year away from receiving my Bachelor’s and I am totally sure this is the field for me. I’ve never been so sure in my life.

Part of the solution was testing out my skills and also making sure I was getting adequate treatment for depression since that can make you lose focus and interest. It can also make you indecisive. It may not be your fault. Now that I’m on the right medication and completed Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (which I HIGHLY recommend), I am more focus and centered than ever.

Since you are depressed, I recommend seeking medical treatment to make sure it’s not a clinical condition that requires treatment. When you take care of that, you’ll be much more able to make the right decision. Talk to your academic advisor - that’s what they’re there for. I hope this helps!

 

[Kount_C]

The one thing that stood out to me when I read your post was your statement that people majoring in pharmacy and physical therapy appear superior to you. Nonsense! If you are motivated toward achieving your degree in either of these fields and they appeal to you, please go for it and you are bound to succeed. And don’t worry about your age. I’m a college professor and have some adult students in my classes who are older than you and have aspirations in many different fields, including the two you mention. It’s the drive and effort you expend that counts, not your age or your background.

The problem is. Early on in school I would study like 7/12’s or sometimes 14 hours a day.
I’ve copied down entire books and re written entire problems word for word. and I’ve rarely gotten A’s. I’ve been in school since I was 23. The first two years I was in school was for welding. I hated it , and I thought that Mechanical Engineering would be a different environment. The problem is also, I’m 35, I’m meeting women in church with out children whom I would like to court, but I do not want to be 40 years old, adopting someone’s children and not having my own.

My mom relies on me to make income to live. She raises my 8 year old nephew. So its like, I feel that I just needed to get stable in my environment. I at first loved ME. But it was going back to the old environment that makes me sick.  I do not understand how I could study for 7/12's and get 50's and 60s on a lot of exams. My extended family, lives 1000 miles away. So any idea of not having success and money, to bring an opportunity of courtship in the future is just insane. I don't have a choice if I want a future , but to make 65 K a year or more.

People tell me to work hard, but what am I suppose to do? 18 hours every day ? I’ve done 18 hour days in the books, and that has never helped me. I’ve tried to use a fisherman or barge workers schedule, coming from an industrial environment as a former boiler welder.

My last boss, had taken pictures of him @#$@#$ my other boss and his wife, and everyone thinks its funny that this stuff goes on. They welcome the man at their homes. I would keep him at gun point if he came on my property.

Thank you everyone for the responses. I’ve until tomorrow to add drop my classes.
PS… my transcripts look like alphabet soup, that’s why I think I would have zero chance of an advanced graduate school.
God bless,

 

[Kount_C]

The one thing that stood out to me when I read your post was your statement that people majoring in pharmacy and physical therapy appear superior to you. Nonsense! If you are motivated toward achieving your degree in either of these fields and they appeal to you, please go for it and you are bound to succeed. And don’t worry about your age. I’m a college professor and have some adult students in my classes who are older than you and have aspirations in many different fields, including the two you mention. It’s the drive and effort you expend that counts, not your age or your background.

If your a professor, why is everything in the universities a scam ? Its like they want you to cheat, but no one talk about it. Its ridiculous, that I could go to a class and get C’s for being honest, because I didn’t use the old testing exams. Or other un authorized materials.
All of these Golden students at my university cheat their butts off. Or take speed. It was my naiveness that kept me from getting high marks in the beginning because, I wanted to actually learn the material. Instead of using the old material.
Thinking,
" I could do anything if I work hard" .

   I know roughly 3 medical students, and now residency doctors, whom, relied on

un-authorized exams, and old materials, before graduating. But the universities play these games of smoke and mirrors preaching integrity or quality ect. When that is how you play their games.

Just want your thoughts on the matter. Thanks

 

[MaryElizabeth26]

If your a professor, why is everything in the universities a scam ? Its like they want you to cheat, but no one talk about it. Its ridiculous, that I could go to a class and get C’s for being honest, because I didn’t use the old testing exams. Or other un authorized materials.
All of these Golden students at my university cheat their butts off. Or take speed. It was my naiveness that kept me from getting high marks in the beginning because, I wanted to actually learn the material. Instead of using the old material.
Thinking,
" I could do anything if I work hard" .

   I know roughly 3 medical students, and now residency doctors, whom, relied on

un-authorized exams, and old materials, before graduating. But the universities play these games of smoke and mirrors preaching integrity or quality ect. When that is how you play their games.

Just want your thoughts on the matter. Thanks

I’m a university student and I earn high marks (As and Bs) through my own studying and hard work. The only time I used study materials outside of my textbook is when I was taking Latin - when it was permissible. Other than that, I study very hard and don’t procrastinate. Just because some students in your school cheat, it doesn’t mean every student does. There are students who truly care about their future and work hard to see their goals through.

It may not come so easy to you, and that’s OK. Some people need outside help. My university offers tutors and so did the junior colleges I attended previously. Many professors care about their students and will help them during office hours if an appointment is made.

All I’m saying is, don’t take the easy way out by blaming your problems on others. Get the help that is provided and you will find that you are much better off. If it doesn’t work out after that, well, then at least you tried and you know you need to do something different.

I don’t mean to be harsh, but I’ve been in your shoes and I know what it takes to do what you have to do through other people helping me when I asked for it. Prayers!

 

[1newcatholic]

The problem is. Early on in school I would study like 7/12’s or sometimes 14 hours a day.
I’ve copied down entire books and re written entire problems word for word. and I’ve rarely gotten A’s. I’ve been in school since I was 23. The first two years I was in school was for welding. I hated it , and I thought that Mechanical Engineering would be a different environment. The problem is also, I’m 35, I’m meeting women in church with out children whom I would like to court, but I do not want to be 40 years old, adopting someone’s children and not having my own.
…
People tell me to work hard, but what am I suppose to do? 18 hours every day ? I’ve done 18 hour days in the books, and that has never helped me. I’ve tried to use a fisherman or barge workers schedule, coming from an industrial environment as a former boiler welder. …

Thank you everyone for the responses. I’ve until tomorrow to add drop my classes.
PS… my transcripts look like alphabet soup, that’s why I think I would have zero chance of an advanced graduate school.
God bless,

I finished a trade program in carpentry and also earned a couple of different college degrees. I can honestly tell you that the grades you pull don’t matter nearly as much as finishing–once you have the degree, no one really cares what your GPA was.

The quality of teacher and the school environment can have a huge impact on your grades. My wife is a very smart, but she had a professor (from a country where women are treated like dogs) who thought that girls didn’t belong in the engineering field. She has a degree in Mathematics, and earned scholarships, but this professor gave her an F because he didn’t like the fact that she refused to drop out of his class. She studied and studied, too, and tried to see him during office hours, but he would just ignore her and make her sit outside in the hall. It was a traumatic experience for her, but it helped her to detach her self-worth from her transcript. I think you should, too.

My trade school was filled with blue collar types, crack heads, and real macho men who smoke and drank and did the kinds of things you described regarding your work environment. My experience there was much more important than the actual degree/certification, because it showed me what my strengths and weaknesses were. I was never at the top of the trade school class, and felt inept and foolish most of the time, always wondering why I didn’t fit in. On the other hand, I pretty much walked through my B.A. program at Cal, because that’s where my strengths were.

Take heart in the fact that you know what you DON’T want to do–that is an excellent place to be. What do you ENJOY doing? Go study that. It worked pretty well for me. And if you’re meeting women at church who you would like to court–children or not–court them. Time waits for no one.

 

[Kount_C]

Man. I went to trade school too for like 2 years. That was my welding school.
It was basically like motivation to study other things.
The biggest problem is, I felt that ME was my way out of my situation that I’m in.
I thought I could capitalize on my past experience and then have a change of environment.

The problem with the transcripts are, if I ever was able to study for an advanced clinical program of some sort… Which it looks like its to late now. I would not even be recognized.
Having like a 2.57 in my program, and that’s at times taking only 2 classes.

I really wanted to just not be ignorant anymore. I was treated very badly as a contract mechanic/ welder with the power company I was in. I can’t get over that now.
quite honestly I wanted to do mathematics, and then go for something in grad school.
But I’m getting older, and I’m not that smart a guy. Everyone I know who is in grad school is a top academic earner. The GPA’s matter there, for say… PT or Pharmacy or medicine or something of that nature.

Its distressing knowing that have like zero talents in my life.
I went to confession today and talked with the priest about a lot of my issues. He recommended a friend of his that is a head shrinker whom, I’m suppose to call tomorrow.

Cheers!

 

[Kount_C]

I’m a university student and I earn high marks (As and Bs) through my own studying and hard work. The only time I used study materials outside of my textbook is when I was taking Latin - when it was permissible. Other than that, I study very hard and don’t procrastinate. Just because some students in your school cheat, it doesn’t mean every student does. There are students who truly care about their future and work hard to see their goals through.

It may not come so easy to you, and that’s OK. Some people need outside help. My university offers tutors and so did the junior colleges I attended previously. Many professors care about their students and will help them during office hours if an appointment is made.

All I’m saying is, don’t take the easy way out by blaming your problems on others. Get the help that is provided and you will find that you are much better off. If it doesn’t work out after that, well, then at least you tried and you know you need to do something different.

I don’t mean to be harsh, but I’ve been in your shoes and I know what it takes to do what you have to do through other people helping me when I asked for it. Prayers!

Hi Mary,

You do not sound harsh at all. I think you have to see the cut throat environment. I’m just curious what your major is? I don’t want to knock it. But when there is a class of 200 people in mathematical modeling that is graded on a curve, and 180 people have the old exams, and programs. At what point do ethics cross the line. Its the way the systems are set up , in a shadow of smoke and mirrors. That is why there are fraternities.
Thanks for the reply… Cheers!

 

[Kount_C]

I finished a trade program in carpentry and also earned a couple of different college degrees. I can honestly tell you that the grades you pull don’t matter nearly as much as finishing–once you have the degree, no one really cares what your GPA was.

The quality of teacher and the school environment can have a huge impact on your grades. My wife is a very smart, but she had a professor (from a country where women are treated like dogs) who thought that girls didn’t belong in the engineering field. She has a degree in Mathematics, and earned scholarships, but this professor gave her an F because he didn’t like the fact that she refused to drop out of his class. She studied and studied, too, and tried to see him during office hours, but he would just ignore her and make her sit outside in the hall. It was a traumatic experience for her, but it helped her to detach her self-worth from her transcript. I think you should, too.

My trade school was filled with blue collar types, crack heads, and real macho men who smoke and drank and did the kinds of things you described regarding your work environment. My experience there was much more important than the actual degree/certification, because it showed me what my strengths and weaknesses were. I was never at the top of the trade school class, and felt inept and foolish most of the time, always wondering why I didn’t fit in. On the other hand, I pretty much walked through my B.A. program at Cal, because that’s where my strengths were.

Take heart in the fact that you know what you DON’T want to do–that is an excellent place to be. What do you ENJOY doing? Go study that. It worked pretty well for me. And if you’re meeting women at church who you would like to court–children or not–court them. Time waits for no one.

Hey I don’t want to bug you. But I saw on your profile that you are a theology PhD student. How did you know that was what you wanted to do ? I for one love mathematics.
But I’m not that good at it. I have to slog through everything. Another reason why I chose ME was because it had like the most math. The ideas of doing something I love, are new to me. Coming from a family of industrial workers, that is a foreign concept I’ve just started to hear about recently.

Cheers!

 

[1newcatholic]

Hey I don’t want to bug you. But I saw on your profile that you are a theology PhD student. How did you know that was what you wanted to do ? I for one love mathematics.
But I’m not that good at it. I have to slog through everything. Another reason why I chose ME was because it had like the most math. The ideas of doing something I love, are new to me. Coming from a family of industrial workers, that is a foreign concept I’ve just started to hear about recently.

Cheers!

Young Man: How did you become successful?
Old Man: By making good decisions.
Young Man: How did you learn to make good decisions?
Old Man: Experience.
Young Man: How did you get your experience?
Old Man: By making bad decisions.

It’s an old joke, but there is some truth in it. I came from an academic family, but somehow it never occurred to me that I would be, at heart, an academic.

I tried several things and, over time, I realized that I was happiest teaching and writing–just like my father.

But I had to learn some lessons about the world and myself before I was ready to admit that, and I learned those lessons by taking some calculated risks, sometimes failing, sometimes succeeding. (I have also accumulated substantial student debt). At one point I was a juggling a full-time construction job, a full-time college load, and trade school. It was exhausting, but because I doubled down on my workload and made some sacrifices, I’ve come farther than I ever really planned. Now I’m juggling parenthood and a PhD program, and it’s insane, but I’m loving every day (I’m also very tired).

I wish I had sage advice for people thinking about exploring new careers or trying new paths, but honestly I didn’t plan my life according to any traditional blue print, and yet it has just come together unexpectedly well. I guess I just had this naive faith that if I tried really hard, and got up every time I fell, I would eventually get where God was leading me.

 

[MaryElizabeth26]

Hi Mary,

You do not sound harsh at all. I think you have to see the cut throat environment. I’m just curious what your major is? I don’t want to knock it. But when there is a class of 200 people in mathematical modeling that is graded on a curve, and 180 people have the old exams, and programs. At what point do ethics cross the line. Its the way the systems are set up , in a shadow of smoke and mirrors. That is why there are fraternities.
Thanks for the reply… Cheers!

I’m in the program for Health Administration and college where it is situated has very strict guidelines about who can stay and who can be admitted to the program. It’s not as competitive as the nursing program but it is pretty rigorous. It requires a lot of studying, especially since I’m a full-time student.

May I ask, do you live outside the U.S.?

 

[MaryElizabeth26]

Hey I don’t want to bug you. But I saw on your profile that you are a theology PhD student. How did you know that was what you wanted to do ? I for one love mathematics.
But I’m not that good at it. I have to slog through everything. Another reason why I chose ME was because it had like the most math. The ideas of doing something I love, are new to me. Coming from a family of industrial workers, that is a foreign concept I’ve just started to hear about recently.

Cheers!

If you love mathematics but dislike the engineering program so much, why not major in Mathematics? It’s actually a highly sought major. Find what you love and go for it. Don’t let family situations hold you back from accomplishing your dreams. Here is an article that may be of interest to you:

dailyfinance.com/2010/05/10/the-10-most-profitable-college-majors/

money.cnn.com/2009/07/24/news/economy/highest_starting_salaries/

 

[Kount_C]

If you love mathematics but dislike the engineering program so much, why not major in Mathematics? It’s actually a highly sought major. Find what you love and go for it. Don’t let family situations hold you back from accomplishing your dreams. Here is an article that may be of interest to you:

dailyfinance.com/2010/05/10/the-10-most-profitable-college-majors/

money.cnn.com/2009/07/24/news/economy/highest_starting_salaries/

I don't know anyone who makes a living with a math degree though?

I’m really not that good at it. Its just somthing I have to work extremely hard at to pass.
Do you know any math majors making money ? I honestly would kill for a phd in mathematics. But I’m not that smart