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anp1215
Guest
Unfortunately this isn’t news to me…All you have to do is look around…
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royal_archer
Guest
This is the result of innitiatives like Gay “marriage”, loose divorse courts, tax laws/ “entitlement” programs that punnish marriage, and laws preventing neighbors from enforcing traditional social norms.
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Orleans_Attny
Guest
I was stunned to find out that 72% of black children are born to unwed mothers. (cite)
And of all developed countries, the United States has the highest percentage of single-parent families. A percentage that has grown exponentionally since the early 1970s, when on 13% of U.S. families were headed by a single parent. (cite)
Sad . . . and trending toward absolute tragedy.
Pax,
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portarica
Guest
When the middle class family was a stereotypical working father and stay at home mom, the tax code in the form of the marriage deduction was an incentive to be married, now there are few middle class jobs that one earner can support his family on. Especially if one has to pay for healthcare.
To support marriage we need a single payer system of healthcare and a return of good manufacturing jobs to the US.
Peace
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JimG
Guest
From 13% to 70% in the span of 40 years is indicative of a society in the process of rapid decay. Or, to use the national average, from 13% to 45%.
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royal_archer
Guest
Going to a taxpayer funded health care system will just make things worse. With employer provided health care being provided to the primary bread winner and their spouse, their is an additional financial incentive to stay married. When the government supplants the father as the provider it will further devistate families.
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royal_archer
Guest
Remember that the rates are skyrocketing like that despite millions of children being murdered prior to birth and the rampant use of birthcontrol.
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spunjalebi
Guest
I personally think the reason why marriage is becoming obsolete is because people are not willing to follow Christian teachings. It’s either because they’re “too old-fashioned”, “unnecessary,” “that was a different time,” “that’s when women were treated as property,”, or “we love each other, that’s all that matters.”
I can recall, attending my marriage preparation retreat and many of the couples who were there admitted to living together before marriage, and even implied that they were sleeping together. The folks in charge of leading the retreat just sat there and did nothing! My husband and I were actually surprised. Maybe it wasn’t their place or might have not been appropriate, but you’d think if the Church could at least teach in MARRIAGE preparation what is appropriate and what isn’t, a lot of these issues would be taken cared of.
How can people possibly think that marriage is a credible, useful, and holy institution when people just treat it as another “partner option”???
I can recall, attending my marriage preparation retreat and many of the couples who were there admitted to living together before marriage, and even implied that they were sleeping together. The folks in charge of leading the retreat just sat there and did nothing! My husband and I were actually surprised. Maybe it wasn’t their place or might have not been appropriate, but you’d think if the Church could at least teach in MARRIAGE preparation what is appropriate and what isn’t, a lot of these issues would be taken cared of.
How can people possibly think that marriage is a credible, useful, and holy institution when people just treat it as another “partner option”???
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mjs1987
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Feminism is why marriage is becoming obsolete.
Men want a housewife, not a complainer. Men want a woman that doesnt argue so much and doesnt give him a hard time. The reason men cheat on their wives with their secretary and maids? Those women are willing to do things for them that their wife refuses to do. If women stopped being so demanding of their husbands and started to be more of a follower than men would take marriage more seriously.
The problem with marriage is you cant have two co-equals in everything. Someone needs to be the leader to lay down the law. Woman today do not want to give men any control in marriage. Most men find that emasculating and eventually men start to tune out of marriage and to dislike being married.
Women want to have it both ways. They want all this feminism stuff and for men to sacrifice for them but they also want the man to stay the same as they were before, minus everything that made men who they were before feminism. Women want too much and they cant have it all.
Give men the authority back and give men a secure marriage with a woman that wont stand in his way and challenge his authority then you will have fewer divorces.
Men want a housewife, not a complainer. Men want a woman that doesnt argue so much and doesnt give him a hard time. The reason men cheat on their wives with their secretary and maids? Those women are willing to do things for them that their wife refuses to do. If women stopped being so demanding of their husbands and started to be more of a follower than men would take marriage more seriously.
The problem with marriage is you cant have two co-equals in everything. Someone needs to be the leader to lay down the law. Woman today do not want to give men any control in marriage. Most men find that emasculating and eventually men start to tune out of marriage and to dislike being married.
Women want to have it both ways. They want all this feminism stuff and for men to sacrifice for them but they also want the man to stay the same as they were before, minus everything that made men who they were before feminism. Women want too much and they cant have it all.
Give men the authority back and give men a secure marriage with a woman that wont stand in his way and challenge his authority then you will have fewer divorces.
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spunjalebi
Guest
There is nothing in the Bible that says a wife should be a doormat.
Marriage isn’t about control, it’s about selfless giving to your spouse and setting aside your own needs for theirs. There is a reason why a wife is an ezer kenegdo, or rescuer alongside. Look at what the Bible says and it doesn’t say anything about “control,” “laying down the law,” etc.
You’re right a husband is supposed to be the Head of his wife, but in no way does that mean a wife cannot question his actions. There have been numerous discussions on that topic and if a husband’s actions are clearly out of line with Catholic and scriptural teaching, a wife should question her husband. That doesn’t mean nag either. And “stand in his way”-- last time I checked, most men wanted a wife who would walk with them, alongside…
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mjs1987
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Culturally speaking, men have always had control and authority in marriage. Men have not adapted to this new reality of independent and strong women. That is why men are abandoning marriage. That is why the black family has been destroyed. That is why the European family has been destroyed. If you dont give men a reason for marriage, they wont want to get married. Take away what made them strong as fathers in marriage and you make them not men but sheepish boys.
There is also nothing in the bible that says men CANT have control and authority or lay down the law. That is what men want. That is what most men seek. That is why marriage fails very often.
Some men have adapted to the new women that is overly romantic, independent, strong and assertive. Most have not. That is why divorce is so high. If you want less divorce and more men to take marriage seriously, you need to give men a reason to want to stay married. What are the incentives for a guy to get married and stay married?
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spunjalebi
Guest
Strong fathers and strong husbands aren’t the same as “laying down the law.” Do you really know what you are talking about? You’re talking about a husband basically treating his wife to the point of a child, where he has the final and ultimate control over his wife. And historically that has not been shown to be beneficial either because these same husbands wanted their mistresses, abused their wives, etc. all while the wife had to grin and bear it.
Um, you seem to know what the entire male population wants based on your own opinions. Nothing in the Bible talks about what you are speaking of. Read what Paul and Peter said, and Ephesians. It says nothing about that. In fact, nothing about the concepts of “laying down the law” and “control” are supported in the Bible. What is in the Bible is sacrifice, and for a wife to respect and honor her husband.
First of all, “overly romantic” existed far beyond our modern times. Ever read Song of Songs?
Wives are encouraged to be independent, strong and assertive-- ever read the Proverbs Wife?
Divorce is high because we live in a lackadaisical society which encourages people to treat things like garbage, including spouses. There is hardly any mention of self-sacrifice, other-focus, etc. Marriage isn’t about “me” or “I”, it’s about an “us,” and honestly most people who are married do not truly understand that. Or, they are not willing to work through the problems, which is necessary to understanding that.
Believe it or not, most men that I’ve met don’t want a wife to dominate, control, lay down the law, etc. with. They want a wife who will respect and love them, honor their leadership, share emotional and physical intimacy with, mesh with their intellect,and have the same values. And more importantly, they want someone who will stand by them.
I have a feeling your personal experiences with women have unfortunately colored your views on these issues. I will pray for you
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illmatic
Guest
While marriage traditionally was considered a stable framework for children to be raised in, it is now thought of as consummation of love and, considering that for the non-chaste, all post-marriage ‘pros’ are readily available with cohabitation. Marriage to an extent is obsolete out-with religion.
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royal_archer
Guest
I am going to give you the bennefit of the doubt on that one. Let me rephrase that: The adults in a house need to be leaders and rule with the concurence of the spouse even with out consulting the other spouse but that leadership role does not have to be the same in every situation My wife has complete and unitarian authority over the conduct of the household. Ihave complete and unitarian authority over the garage, basement, and yard. we both make decisions taking the others desires under considerations but do not always have to consult for every little detail. A problem in society today is too many poeple think we always have to have consensus on every detail. Further when someone with rightful authority makes a decision and that decison gets undermined (especially in front of kids) it leads to strife.
As for feminism, I think some women are getting pressured to stretch themselves too thin. there are advantages to the sepparation of labor in a traditional marriage and when either spouse tries to take on too many roles it leads to needless stress and strife.
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royal_archer
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Point of order: While Our Bible is complete and truthfull in all it contains, it does not a complete and issolateable instrument for the entire revealed truth.
Church teaching as a whole instructs that a spouse should not be used as a door mat.
Being controling is not the same as taking charge and being a leader. I hope the prior poster meant to take a leadership role and take charge while taking into account the greater good and the desires of the spouse. Just as I want my (stay at home) wife to take charge of things like dinner. I really don’t need a day to day say in what we are going to eat each night outside of general preferences and I do not consider it controlling that I have to eat what she serves.
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anp1215
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You know what phrase irritates me so much? Whenever I hear (often famous) couples (who are live-in, and usually have several children) say, “We don’t need a piece of paper to show our love to each other.” or “We don’t need a piece of paper to be married.”
So frustrating!
So frustrating!
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royal_archer
Guest
They just aren’t in love enough that they are willing to put it in writing.
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spunjalebi
Guest
I agree with you. However (and not picking on any particular poster), the attitude behind the postings and words have made it clear that it was about CONTROL, not leadership. A good leader knows that they have to ask for (name removed by moderator)ut from others, sometimes defer to others, and also admit that they need help is necessary. That does not mean they are incapable of “taking charge.” I have already experienced this in my marriage. If my husband didn’t “take charge” when it came to setting boundaries and limits when it came to my parents we’d have a disaster on our hands. Not to mention, even though I may not agree with what his decisions are, I trust him enough to respect him and honor him. There have been times where my husband has told me “this is what we are going to do to handle the situation next time, okay?” along with “I don’t want you returning their calls or seeing them for a while.” (I should note my parents were abusive. He does not trust them).
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OrdinaryMelkite
Guest
Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell are a good example of that.
Goldie even went further than that at a talk show------when she said that it was obvious to her that Men were just Not Naturally Monogamous and just “cannot help themselves” and Women should just accept that.
But of course, Reverse Sexism is OK since Women cannot be Reverse Sexist----can they?
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