40% of babies born to unmarried women !!!

[severus68]

But of course, both the mother and the father have chosen to punish the child by depriving him of the benefits of a two parent family. It’s a sad situation. It’s not about punishing anyone. It’s about doing what’s best for the child.

Really ? Even in a marriage, either parent may run off, either parent may die, by that reasoning, the children should be adopted out. There are many one parent families in which the children thrive and there are two parent families in which the children suffer. Its not for us to decide and an unwed mother should not be forced to give up her children - what a terrible thing!

 

[iloveangels]

And this surprises you because???

This has been going on for years, unfortunately.

 

[severus68]

Are you kidding me? I have a lot of things to say to that but they would get me banned. My mom was married when she conceived me but left my father while she was pregnant because he was an abusive alcoholic.

I had a one parent household. We did live in poverty, frequently without utilities. But I had a great childhood, I don’t know anyone who had it better. My mom was an amazing mom, my older brother is one of the best men in the world, and if I believed in angels I would be sure that my grandma was one. I never knew my dad or his side of the family, but the idea that I would be better off with another family because they had more money and a father is appalling, offensive, and completely wrong.

Yes, extremely offensive. Yours is an example of how single parents do all they can for their children and there are so many.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Yes, extremely offensive. Yours is an example of how single parents do all they can for their children and there are so many.

I wasn’t “punished” with a single parent household. I wasn’t “deprived” of a complete and loving family. I had (and still have) a very wonderful family who taught me nothing if not self-sacrifice. I learned what was really important in life, how to get by without material things, what it meant to stick together, and so many other very important things. I saw my mom work hard and give everything she had for us. She inspired me to want to do the same.

The idea that it would have been better for me to be given to a two-parent household that had more money is so utterly insane. My mom was wonderful, but she didn’t do anything extraordinary that no one else could. If a single mom is willing to do what it takes to love and protect their child, and make the necessary sacrifices, then there is no reason to think that the child would automatically be better off elsewhere.

As for not wanting children to grow up in poverty, here’s a little known secret: If a parent is a good parent, the kid doesn’t realize the family is poor until they look back as an adult. I had more dress up costumes, books, and dolls than any of my friends. My mom went to auctions and bought boxes of random stuff for a dollar each to keep me entertained and to make sure that I had stuff to read. She bought a chalk board and taught me numbers, arithmetic, and shapes before kindergarten because we couldn’t afford preschool. She also had me reading at a 4th grade level before I started school because she felt so bad that I might fall behind without preschool she worked to compensate, and did a very good job. It never occurred to me that everyone else had lights on all the time, or that they ate differently than we did. We always made sure to donate our change whenever the opportunity came up, and we volunteered all the time. No matter what my mom always made it clear that we were fortunate for everything that we had and that there were people out there with even less. Honestly, I am so thankful that I grew up poor. I know what it means to have it rough, I know how to scrimp and save, I know how to get by, and I appreciate even the little things so much more.

 

[Pitcharan]

I wasn’t “punished” with a single parent household. I wasn’t “deprived” of a complete and loving family. I had (and still have) a very wonderful family who taught me nothing if not self-sacrifice. I learned what was really important in life, how to get by without material things, what it meant to stick together, and so many other very important things. I saw my mom work hard and give everything she had for us. She inspired me to want to do the same.

The idea that it would have been better for me to be given to a two-parent household that had more money is so utterly insane. My mom was wonderful, but she didn’t do anything extraordinary that no one else could. If a single mom is willing to do what it takes to love and protect their child, and make the necessary sacrifices, then there is no reason to think that the child would automatically be better off elsewhere.

As for not wanting children to grow up in poverty, here’s a little known secret: If a parent is a good parent, the kid doesn’t realize the family is poor until they look back as an adult. I had more dress up costumes, books, and dolls than any of my friends. My mom went to auctions and bought boxes of random stuff for a dollar each to keep me entertained and to make sure that I had stuff to read. It never occurred to me that everyone else had lights on all the time, or that they ate differently than we did. We always made sure to donate our change whenever the opportunity came up, and we volunteered all the time. No matter what my mom always made it clear that we were fortunate for everything that we had and that there were people out there with even less. Honestly, I am so thankful that I grew up poor. I know what it means to have it rough, I know how to scrimp and save, I know how to get by, and I appreciate even the little things so much more.

When I read your post, the thoughts sound like my own.

 

[Pitcharan]

I wasn’t “punished” with a single parent household. I wasn’t “deprived” of a complete and loving family. I had (and still have) a very wonderful family who taught me nothing if not self-sacrifice. I learned what was really important in life, how to get by without material things, what it meant to stick together, and so many other very important things. I saw my mom work hard and give everything she had for us. She inspired me to want to do the same.

The idea that it would have been better for me to be given to a two-parent household that had more money is so utterly insane. My mom was wonderful, but she didn’t do anything extraordinary that no one else could. If a single mom is willing to do what it takes to love and protect their child, and make the necessary sacrifices, then there is no reason to think that the child would automatically be better off elsewhere.

As for not wanting children to grow up in poverty, here’s a little known secret: If a parent is a good parent, the kid doesn’t realize the family is poor until they look back as an adult. I had more dress up costumes, books, and dolls than any of my friends. My mom went to auctions and bought boxes of random stuff for a dollar each to keep me entertained and to make sure that I had stuff to read. She bought a chalk board and taught me numbers, arithmetic, and shapes before kindergarten because we couldn’t afford preschool. She also had me reading at a 4th grade level before I started school because she felt so bad that I might fall behind without preschool she worked to compensate, and did a very good job. It never occurred to me that everyone else had lights on all the time, or that they ate differently than we did. We always made sure to donate our change whenever the opportunity came up, and we volunteered all the time. No matter what my mom always made it clear that we were fortunate for everything that we had and that there were people out there with even less. Honestly, I am so thankful that I grew up poor. I know what it means to have it rough, I know how to scrimp and save, I know how to get by, and I appreciate even the little things so much more.

After experiencing such wonderful love, were you ever drawn to seek the Author?

 

[KayDeeNici]

Really ? Even in a marriage, either parent may run off, either parent may die, by that reasoning, the children should be adopted out. There are many one parent families in which the children thrive and there are two parent families in which the children suffer. Its not for us to decide and an unwed mother should not be forced to give up her children - what a terrible thing!

I believe you articulated what I was thinking! I have never heard the call from any group demanding that a suddenly single parent ought to adopt their children out, so the argument that an unmarried mother should does not make sense to me.

 

[severus68]

I wasn’t “punished” with a single parent household. I wasn’t “deprived” of a complete and loving family. I had (and still have) a very wonderful family who taught me nothing if not self-sacrifice. I learned what was really important in life, how to get by without material things, what it meant to stick together, and so many other very important things. I saw my mom work hard and give everything she had for us. She inspired me to want to do the same.

The idea that it would have been better for me to be given to a two-parent household that had more money is so utterly insane. My mom was wonderful, but she didn’t do anything extraordinary that no one else could. If a single mom is willing to do what it takes to love and protect their child, and make the necessary sacrifices, then there is no reason to think that the child would automatically be better off elsewhere.

As for not wanting children to grow up in poverty, here’s a little known secret: If a parent is a good parent, the kid doesn’t realize the family is poor until they look back as an adult. I had more dress up costumes, books, and dolls than any of my friends. My mom went to auctions and bought boxes of random stuff for a dollar each to keep me entertained and to make sure that I had stuff to read. She bought a chalk board and taught me numbers, arithmetic, and shapes before kindergarten because we couldn’t afford preschool. She also had me reading at a 4th grade level before I started school because she felt so bad that I might fall behind without preschool she worked to compensate, and did a very good job. It never occurred to me that everyone else had lights on all the time, or that they ate differently than we did. We always made sure to donate our change whenever the opportunity came up, and we volunteered all the time. No matter what my mom always made it clear that we were fortunate for everything that we had and that there were people out there with even less. Honestly, I am so thankful that I grew up poor. I know what it means to have it rough, I know how to scrimp and save, I know how to get by, and I appreciate even the little things so much more.

What a wonderful mother. Mine was like that.

 

[severus68]

I believe you articulated what I was thinking! I have never heard the call from any group demanding that a suddenly single parent ought to adopt their children out, so the argument that an unmarried mother should does not make sense to me.

I have read strong views on other threads that an unwed mother should give up her child as if being unwed removes love for your child.

 

[Sam_777]

We are amidst a time in which to be truly fatherly and to be truly a mother is becoming more and more against the law throughout society, and against societal social rules.

Tracing the problem of abortion to contraception is a start, but it is not the root, it is further along the branch towards the trunk.

If the corrupted tree is not cut down at the root, it will not fall. But then, I have heard it said more than once, that we are at a stage where a societal collapse is inevitable – there will be anarchy, though there will likely be tyranny first in an attempt to restrain it.

The corruption of social mores is too complete.

Thank you Shin for your contribution to this thread, you have a great wisdom…

 

[Sam_777]

Wake up, Maybe shame and the fact you are already watching one child starve is enough to help these women learn not to have sex until they can afford the fruits of it.

http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon14.gif, but also add men to that formula…

 

[Sam_777]

In our society marriage is becoming less important, less valued, and less common.

 

[Sam_777]

40% of babies may be born to unmarried women, but more than 95% of people have had sex before they were married. The only difference then is that these women are now “caught.” The plausible deniability is gone.

, where are the parents, why they are not raising their children right!, teaching them to distinguish right from wrong, so it will not lead to such consequences :dts:.

 

[Sam_777]

I seem to keep mentioning Carle Zimmerman’s book “Family and Civilization,” in a lot of threads, but it is pertinent. He studied family structure over the course of several millenia. It changed from the tribal paternalistic extended family to the nuclear family to the atomized family in which family ties were broken down.

Family structures changed a lot over thousands of years but not as drastically as one might think. It is only when family structures reach the stage of atomization that civilization is threatened with collapse, and he found that occurring only three times in history, once in ancient Greece, and once in ancient Rome, following which the civilization did indeed collapse. The third instance he finds is our own time.

A 40% out of wedlock birth rate is a sign of an atomizing family structure; in some communities it is as high as 70%. Such families can no longer serve as the basis of any civilization and indeed, if the trend continues, our own civilization will no doubt collapse.

http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon14.gif Good theory to read…

 

[Sam_777]

Just cause these women are having babies and not married, doesn’t mean they won’t be allowed “into the Kingdom of Heaven”. As it’s been said many times on this site, that’s God’s decision and we don’t know what’s gonna happen over there on The Other Side.

http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon13.gif, DaddyGirl I think you should read this again and again:
(1 Corinthians 6:9-10):
“Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

 

[Sam_777]

And this surprises you because???

This has been going on for years, unfortunately.

Because US is the largest country for Christians, so I think their duty to educate and warn others, Christians should be role model for all other religions to admire.

 

[severus68]

Because US is the largest country for Christians, so I think their duty to educate and warn others, Christians should be role model for all other religions to admire.

There are more Christians in the rest of the world than there are in the US.

 

[Lightsway]

---

Being “Old fashioned” does not make it right. There was a time when unwed mothers were not only shamed – but the child was called derogatory names. Parents would not allow their children to play – with the child of a “fallen” woman.

Now I am not a Catholic anymore but I was well versed and classically trained by my father: So you do realize that illegitimate children do not have the same standing in the catholic church as legitimate children.

Such as an illegitimate child can not be a priest, unless a dispensation has been granted. Also these children do not have a rights to inheritance. This comes from one of the churches greatest thinkers Thomas Aquinas. He was very smart man and if you believe in natural law, which he is a master of. I would defer to his teaching as opposed to your “feelings” on this matter.

newadvent.org/summa/5068.htm#article2

You will see they can indeed be made legitimate, but I doubt that even enters into peoples minds these days.

 

[Lightsway]

I would certainly say that there are a of consequences to having a child when you can’t afford one. I mean, huge, difficult, life-altering consequences. You seem to think that the WIC program completely negates what a mother goes through.

By the way, you would do very well to read my signature and think about it long and hard.

Please answer the first question should I be forced to pay?

If yes

I am going to kill my brother unless you deposit money into my account. Since blackmail appears to morally acceptable to you and the others here

Also if you do not deposit into my account and I kill my brother, I should not be punished because we all make mistakes and I should be forgiven and loved. Its punishment enough to have a dead baby… brother,

If No than we have no problem. You can donate but do not steal from me through the government.

Just as a side note to answer your touchy-feelly quote with reality. At eighteen, I was disowned, I worked,and put myself through college without debt and yes I staved and lost some of my height and I even ate paper to keep the pain at bay, but you know what? Not once did I believe I had a right steal from others, aka food stamps, I did not deserve food just because I am alive. I am much better now, but I have no pity for any one who does not work,or produce. Do you know how I decided to help the world? I work, a lot usually over 80 hours a week. I have developed enough capital and yes connections to open my own businesses that now employs people. I also suspect you do not believe this but, YES I BUILT THAT. That’s my idea of charity and reality. Reality is simply cruelly balanced , if you make mistakes all the responsibility is yours but if you do right the reward is all yours.

If it makes you feel better my husband jokes with me, you were always a good man of business.

 

[4Squarebaby]

, where are the parents, why they are not raising their children right!, teaching them to distinguish right from wrong, so it will not lead to such consequences :dts:.

The parents came of age during the 1960s through 1980s and they also engaged in pre/extra marital sex and don’t necessarily believe it is wrong. They are the ones throwing the baby showers and no longer sending their daughters off to their out of town aunts to secretly give birth and give their grandchild up for adoption to avoid public shame and scandel. For the most part the proverbial shotgun is gone. The expected mother might convince a boyfriend to marry and have a “premature baby” but fathers and brothers no longer act as the big stick in the background should the man refuse. Only the state steps in, and in that case just to sieze money if the father has any.