7-year-old son missed mass

[2cats]

I’m a Catholic convert. My husband is a lapsed Catholic. We have two 7-year-old boys, whom we’re raising Catholic. They are in 1st grade. They’re enrolled in CCD, but they won’t have the “communion prep” class (or their first communion) until next year. Since they turned 7 (actually since before then), I’ve taken them to mass every Sunday. My husband usually comes too, but not always. I read somewhere that kids 7 and older are obligated to go to mass, so I’ve made sure they never missed – until today. One of the kids had an earache this morning so I told him he could stay home with my husband. I took my other son to mass. By afternoon, my “sick” son was feeling better. He seemed to want to go out and play with his friends, but I told him if was well enough to play, he was well enough to go to the last mass of the day at 5:30 pm. He chose to stay inside rather than playing with friends. I asked my husband to take him to the 5:30 pm mass anyway (by this point we both felt our son was feeling fine and probably just trying to get out of going to mass), but my husband didn’t want to, and my son didn’t want to go. Should I have gone a second time and made my son go with me? Do I need to confess this? Does my son need to confess it, even though he hasn’t received communion or learned how to make a confession yet? I don’t want to have put his soul in jeopardy.

 

[1ke]

Should I have gone a second time and made my son go with me? Do I need to confess this? Does my son need to confess it, even though he hasn’t received communion or learned how to make a confession yet? I don’t want to have put his soul in jeopardy.

You did not commit a sin. Your son did not commit a sin.

Can. 11 Merely ecclesiastical laws bind those who have been baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it, possess the efficient use of reason, and, unless the law expressly provides otherwise, have completed seven years of age.

Your son has not completed seven years of age, therefore is not under the canon law obligation of attending Mass each week. Moreover, one is not obligated to attend Mass when one is sick. And lastly, if he has not yet begun going to confession you should follow the guidance of your priest. Seven is an approximate age for “age of reason” but it is individual to each child. If you think your son needs to make his first confession and begin confessing regularly, talk to your priest.

I think you are being scrupulous.

 

[paperwight66]

The God Whom Jesus describes to us, and about Whom the church teaches us is a loving Father, not a tyrant. Your son’s soul is not in jeopardy, and for heaven’s sake don’t torment youself with such doubts of God’s goodness, wisdom and plain commonsense. And I do hope you kept your thoughts from your son, by the way.

 

[2cats]

Can. 11 Merely ecclesiastical laws bind those who have been baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it, possess the efficient use of reason, and, unless the law expressly provides otherwise, have completed seven years of age.

Your son has not completed seven years of age, therefore is not under the canon law obligation of attending Mass each week.

I think you are being scrupulous.

Maybe I am, and I do tend to be scrupulous sometimes, but don’t you “complete 7 years of age” when you turn 7? Because you complete your first year of age when you turn 1.

Oh, and to the poster who said he/she hoped I didn’t convey my fears to my son – no, of course I didn’t! I’m neurotic, but I am careful not to pass my neuroses on to the kids!

 

[Ashton_Gaskill]

I would explain to your son about how important and beautiful the Mass is, and try to get your husband to go regularly as well. If the father figure isn’t attending Mass, then it doesn’t look very manly to go. And if it isn’t manly, young boys probably don’t want to do it.

That comes from my background, and the reason I got so many “stomach aches” as a child on Sunday mornings.

 

[1ke]

Maybe I am, and I do tend to be scrupulous sometimes, but don’t you “complete 7 years of age” when you turn 7?

I believe you “complete seven years of age” when you are not longer 7, i.e. when you turn 8.

 

[Ashton_Gaskill]

I don’t think you should be worried about the law word-by-word. After all, Jesus got onto the Pharisees on a regular basis for getting to caught up in what the law said explicitly and forgetting the spirit behind the law. When your son goes to Reconciliation, he can decide if he needs to confess it or not. The important thing is to teach and show him WHY going to Mass is important so that he’ll want to go instead of finding ways out of it. While you need to address the symptoms, it is more important to fix the cause.

 

[Wowbagger]

Based on the facts given, I see no sin here on anyone’s part except his father’s. But it’s a very dangerous situation – your son seems to (from what you said) really want to avoid Mass. Where does that come from? Of course, I thought Mass was the most boring thing in the world when I was seven (I think nearly all seven-year-old boys do), but it never occurred to me to simply not go, because I knew, in that primitive seven-year-old way, that it was what God wanted me to do.

Again, there’s no sin here except in the father’s decision not to attend (which is at the least a grave matter, and at the most a moral sin), but his example creates a very dangerous role model for your kids in the future. You’re right to be worried, I think.

So sayeth this random internet denizen.