7 years without confession...what to expect?

[wartee]

OK, I converted in 2001, and after my first confession I have been scared to death to go back. Nothing bad happened, I’m just terribly embarrassed and it has taken me this long to get up the courage (mostly it is my 2nd grade daughter that has convinced me!). I plan to call tomorrow to set up a time with my parish priest.

I’m sure I’m “in for it” and am ready to accept what the priest tells me. If anyone has been in this situation I would love to hear how things turned out for you.

Also how do you prepare yourself when you have probably forgotten several years worth of sins?

 

[KCT]

Tell the priest your situation . . . and how nervous you are. A good priest will coach you through it.

 

[maryjk]

It sounds like you are making an appointment, that is a good start. Believe me, you aren’t the worst one he will have seen. I bet seven years doesn’t even come close. :blushing:

Confess the biggies. You know the ones. The sins that are weighing on your mind. Look online or if you have a church store, look there, for “An examination of Conscience.” It will help. Generally they are lists of questions, broken down by the Commandments.

Then ask him for guidance. Once you say “seven years,” he will know you will need direction.

Then try to get into the habit of confession. Try to do an examination of conscience every night or at least every week. That way you will know what to say next time.

 

[FM927]

WARTEE, I also went to formal confession after 6 or 7 yrs. (lost count) I used to think that confessing my sins directly to God was enough. So after reading so many posts on CAF I told myself that it was time I went to see a priest. When I went to confession I had a choice of being behind a screen or face to face with the priest. Before I walked in the reconciliation room, I was debating which way I should do it, but as I walked in something came over me, I can’t explain the feeling but I chose to face the priest. I did not even remember how to start, but words just poured out and it felt as if I was speaking to God but I knew that this time I would HEAR the absolution. Needless to say I felt so good after that and stayed for the Mass and when I received Communion it was just perfect!

 

[Pax_Vobiscum_57]

I was away from the Sacraments for nearly 20 years. What you can expect is to feel ten pounds lighter from the weight of sin disappearing.

Unless your priest is an ogre, let him know how nervous you are, and I’m sure he’ll guide you through it. My first time back to confession, the priest had to lead me through the Act of Contrition.

 

[Maria1212]

Dear OP,

Lots of churches have guides on how to make a good confession. You can also find some online. That helps a lot. I also practice in my head before I go in and always try to spend some time in quiet prayer beforehand. The Holy Spirit will guide you. It also helps to confess the sins you are most embarrassed about first. That way you get it out of the way and are less likely to forget to confess them.

The priest will be very happy you are reconciling you back and will welcome you. I am always amazed by the mercy and I experience when going to confession. Remember, you are confessing to Jesus and he is in there with you in the confessional.

You will feel so good after you go!! Making an appointment is great. I also find it inspirational to go during regularly scheduled times because I see other people go in, and that encourages me.

Don`t put it off! You will feel so great once you go. I will keep you in my prayers.

Sincerely,

Maria1212

 

[Elizabeth502]

I also find it inspirational to go during regularly scheduled times because I see other people go in, and that encourages me.

Me, too! This is a powerful visual reminder that we are all pilgrims together, that we are sinners, & most importantly, that we sin against a community (as well) whenever we sin. Sometimes I see that other people appear nervous, too. Last month there was a man in my line who kept allowing people behind him to go ahead of him. I thought he was just trying to prepare better, but when I came out, he was no longer in line, so he may have just not been prepared, or have lost his courage momentarily; I prayed that he would come back again.

For the same reason, I additionally like the entire Days of Reconciliation when they are held in certain parishes once or twice a year. Similar, very powerful reminder when the church is filled with us sinners, and there are 6 or 7 priests stationed around the church for private confessions. There’s something very biblical about this, too – like Jesus’ new followers coming to him asking for forgiveness after listening to him.

OP, I PM’ed you.

 

[I_Believe]

OK, I converted in 2001, and after my first confession I have been scared to death to go back. Nothing bad happened, I’m just terribly embarrassed and it has taken me this long to get up the courage (mostly it is my 2nd grade daughter that has convinced me!). I plan to call tomorrow to set up a time with my parish priest.

I’m sure I’m “in for it” and am ready to accept what the priest tells me. If anyone has been in this situation I would love to hear how things turned out for you.

Also how do you prepare yourself when you have probably forgotten several years worth of sins?

I confessed for the first time in 35 years in early '06. I was a nervous wreck until I got into the confessional, but then as I knelt, a great calm came over me. I had typed up a list of my sins, along with the order of things. How to begin, etc. It went very well. I was given pennance, absolution, and was told to make an appointment with my pastor for spiritual direction.

Here you will find all you need to know to make a good confession.
fisheaters.com/penance.html

J+M+J

 

[narrowpath]

Hey, who on this thread uses anonymous confession (the screen), and who actually goes face2face w/ the priest?

 

[Elizabeth502]

narrowpath, The last two times I’ve gone anonymously. That was mainly because the chair area was so cramped! It’s an old confessional in a very old church, never intended for modern confessional rites. They’d have to remodel to make that more comfortable; as it is, the chair is squeezed against the wall; very intimate quarters. I’d love to go face to face again, somewhere. I once went face to face standing, & that was very powerful. In some ways it feels similar to “standing before God” at The Judgment. Jews confess standing on Yom Kippur (communally); would not think of doing otherwise when acknowledging personal sin. Lutherans also confess standing. I have no problem sitting. I just feel that a ramrod-straight chair & 3 inches between me and the priest is not optimal for openness.

 

[puzzleannie]

OK,
Also how do you prepare yourself when you have probably forgotten several years worth of sins?

God bless your daughter for evangelizing you! I love it! I see it every year, as I help the children prepare for sacraments, that their parents, padrinos and family come back to sacraments as well. What a powerful grace! you are blessed. My suggestion, since you are helping your child prepare, ask her to teach you how to make an examination of conscience, and ask her to teach you what to say and how to do it when you go in.

 

[acadian]

You can expect to be met with kindness and gentleness and mercy.

I went in 2001 after being away for 8 years. I had piled up many serious things in those years to confess. The priest did not gasp in horror or fall off of his chair.

I stayed and went to Mass and received the Eucharist for the first time in a long time. I floated through the next several days. It was an awesome life-changing experience.

It took me a couple of months to prepare and to convince myself that I NEEDED to go and to figure out how I was going to arrange it with my schedule and the schedule of my 2 young sons. My sins pretty easily fell into categories - I missed Mass often, I used artificial birth control - FOR EXAMPLE - and it didn’t take me long to get through the list. I didn’t go into each and every incident and I didn’t bother too much with venial sins.

It was during Advent that I went, and it was great to truly “Come Home for Christmas” that year. The best Christmas present I got was God’s mercy in that confession.

Do tell the priest that you’ve only been one other time - 7 years ago - and that you would appreciate a little help because you are very nervous.

I will say a prayer for you. Be not afraid!

For whoever was asking - I prefer face to face. To each, his own.

 

[Pax_Vobiscum_57]

This site might help you: frpat.com/examen.htm

When I went to confession, I had written down the big sins so I would be sure not to forget anything. And I do used the old confessionals. We have one that serves as both face-to-face, and one with the big heavy curtains. There’s just something about kneeling down & making that little red light go on above the confessional.