8 yr old exposed to pornography in school

[mommyof4]

I wouldn’t expect anything less from public school.

I work in public school, and believe me, inappropriate material is taken very seriously in my buildings that I work at, public or private. Also, having attended Catholic schools myself, and having a husband who works at a Catholic school, I can guarantee that they are not immune to the same issues that plague public schools, either.

OP, I would take the advice that others have given you. You need to CALMLY address this with the teacher and/or the principal. Parents are taken much more seriously when they are calm and rational versus when they are blowing up without getting all of the facts.

 

[Allegra]

So, what happened? Did you talk to the principal?

 

[EasterJoy]

Have you seen this book or do you know what it actually was? How do you know it was “porn”?

That actually seems a little excessive. You don’t mention how old your child is.

How is it the fault of any of these people?

Take a deep breath. Find out more facts. Talk to the parents. Talk calmly with the teacher about your concern about inappropriate books being passed around.

Why not? Again, that seems a rather extreme reaction.

This.

Once my kids said that a sort-of-bully at school was awarding popularity points to fellow students who “let him cut them.” This was a child who’d been in some trouble for coercing classmates into doing some truly questionable things. On talking to our boys further, however, it turns out that this was how the kids in that class referred to allowing someone to go out of turn ahead of you.

It is fine to investigate further, but withhold wrath. It rarely gets you anywhere when you haven’t earned it by going through some serious stonewalling. You haven’t, not yet, so put your six-shooters back in their holsters.

 

[CompSciGuy]

If it makes you feel any better, while you are right to be angry, I don’t think it would have a huge effect on him at that age. I remember when I was about 7 or 8, me and some neighbor kids were digging in their garage through their parents’ stuff (they had some genuinely cool things in there) and we ran across some of their dad’s old porno mags. We didn’t know what they were at the time and we thought the pictures were gross. My friend took it in and showed his mom, after that we weren’t allowed to go in the garage anymore. I didn’t suddenly get an urge to look at porn after that experience, and as far as I know, neither did my brother or even the neighbor kids who lived in that house.

I think that in this situation you should direct your anger toward the parents of that child, not toward the school and teachers themselves, as the staff and faculty are not omnipotent and can’t control everything that goes on.

 

[CompSciGuy]

I wouldn’t expect anything less from public school.

When I was growing up, my parents first tried homeschooling us, then sent us to private schools for four years, then public school for the rest of the time. I honestly don’t think that private schools are that much better in terms of sheltering kids from the outside world. The muck got into private schools same as in public schools. In fact a lot of kids in private school were worse, since it was a Christian environment and there was a strong sense of rebellion among some of the student population. Honestly I don’t think that sending kids to public schools is going to mess them up, it’s all about how you as parents bring them up, you instill in them your beliefs and value system, and you gain your kids’ respect, then your kids will carry that with them when they go to public school.

 

[pianistclare]

I went to private school…it’s no better…often the kids have more access to stuff (more smartphones per capita for sure.

Indeed. It was in the Catholic school where I worked that a girl sent naked pic of herself to a boy who couldn’t WAIT to show them to his friends.

She got expelled. The boy got his phone taken away, and the other boys got told that they need to report such behaviors immediately or face expulsion themselves.

OP, find out what the book really is, and ask the principal to remind students that such reading material is not to be brought to school, and if it is, expect dismissal.

but the principal has to investigate to see what REALLY happened.

 

[EasterJoy]

Indeed. It was in the Catholic school where I worked that a girl sent naked pic of herself to a boy who couldn’t WAIT to show them to his friends.

She got expelled. The boy got his phone taken away, and the other boys got told that they need to report such behaviors immediately or face expulsion themselves.

OP, find out what the book really is, and ask the principal to remind students that such reading material is not to be brought to school, and if it is, expect dismissal.

but the principal has to investigate to see what REALLY happened.

Yes, except I’d go to the teacher before going to the principal. A teacher should not come into his or her classroom to find that a parent has been reporting things to the principal that the teacher had not been told about first.

This is just common courtesy, and many of the wiser principals enforce it as a policy: Except when a teacher has given you a just reason to fear reprisals, do not tell me about problems in the teacher’s classroom when you have not said anything to the teacher yet. Start problem-solving with the teacher; inform me when you and the teacher are at an impasse.