A bit confused ahead of first confession

[leylacharles]

I’m in the strange situation of having completed my RCIA & about to make my first confession. I say “strange,” because after Easter I begin the process of applying to have my first marriage annulled. This took place well over 30yrs ago, & I was remarried in a Methodist church not long after my divorce. I’m struggling in my examination of conscience, as I’m given to understand that I have committed a mortal sin, even though all my heart & soul argues that isn’t the case! I know I won’t be able to take part in the Eucharist until this issue is hopefully resolved, but how do I reconcile this conflict for confession? Any advice on how I address this & how this should be voiced within the confessional would be appreciated, as I’m having restless nights thinking about part of my life I left behind & chose to forget so many years ago.

 

[on_the_hill]

Hmmm…have you discussed it with a priest?

If I were in your position, I’d ask a priest to sit down and discuss it with me, not within the Rite of Penance/Reconciliation/confession, but as a counseling session. Then you could conclude by shifting from the discussion into the Rite.

Just a thought.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

I’m in the strange situation of having completed my RCIA & about to make my first confession. I say “strange,” because after Easter I begin the process of applying to have my first marriage annulled. This took place well over 30yrs ago, & I was remarried in a Methodist church not long after my divorce. I’m struggling in my examination of conscience, as I’m given to understand that I have committed a mortal sin, even though all my heart & soul argues that isn’t the case! I know I won’t be able to take part in the Eucharist until this issue is hopefully resolved, but how do I reconcile this conflict for confession? Any advice on how I address this & how this should be voiced within the confessional would be appreciated, as I’m having restless nights thinking about part of my life I left behind & chose to forget so many years ago.

I think #2 is good advice. But no man can read the conscience of another. You have to judge yourself on what you knew about the Commandment regarding marriage. Christ clearly condemned divorce and remarriage, so did the Apostles. If you knew that and went ahead and did it any way, you committed a serious sin, no exceptions for any reason. However, if you did not know of Christ’s condemnation or had been constantly indoctrinated by non-Catholic pastors that it was O.K., your culpability would perhaps be less.

Then there is the question of your current situation. You and your current partner ( she cannot be regarded as your wife yet) will have to live as brother and sister - strictly - until the first marriage is annuled. And if it cannot be annuled, you will have to live apart from each other. That is if you want to be a Catholic in good standing. I am a little surprised you are being considered for initiation into the Church before the marriage issue has been resolved.

Linus2nd

 

[bzkoss236]

I believe that in your current situation, if you confess to the sin of this situation (being married without an annulment from a previous marriage) you can partake of the Eucharist IF you make the commitment that until the annulment goes through, and you get your answer as to whether your first marriage was not a marriage (annulled), that you and your spouse live as brother and sister (meaning no sex).

CCC 1650
“Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ — “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery”—the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.”

The last (bolded) part, explains what I just said.