A bit stuck here, no churches to go to?

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Hope_Philomena

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My schedule:

5:00 PM Sunday - 6:00 PM Friday: Father’s house

7:00 PM Friday - 4:00 PM Sunday: Mother’s house. My mom lives one hour away from my dad.

(Yay for double custody I suppose)

I’ve been looking around my area to find some Catholic churches, and there seem to be very few. In my dad’s town, there is one parish, but I wouldn’t be able to get there on Sundays, which is a big problem. In my mom’s town, there is one parish but I would only be around for basically Saturday and early Sunday. Because of this, I completely miss all the Confession times and other things that are important. Maybe I could schedule a Confession at a time available to me, but I’d feel too rude for making anyone go out of their way just to fit my unfortunate schedule.

So I’ve been trying to find a place in the middle. Thirty minutes from my dad, thirty from my mom. Sadly, I’ve yet to find anywhere like that. My mom or dad might not even drive thirty to get to “A silly old church” as they say. Actually, my mom had expressed interest in going to church but she decided not to, saying: “I enjoy my lazy Sundays and not having to do anything”.

I am too young to drive, have no rides, no connections, buses and taxis don’t exist anywhere near me, etc… I seem to be a bit stuck. 🤷 :confused:

Is there any way that I can fully participate in one church when I live in two different places every week? If not, any advice on a compromise? I’ve nobody to talk to about this.

I feel really terrible, never attending Mass once in my life… And my housing situation is irritating me and I feel very foolish and petty for being stuck in such a 21st century situation. And I feel I cannot wait any longer, with my sins piling up, I feel like I am shrinking and dying with each one. Should I try walking?
 
I’m nothing.

I’ve got no experience.

Not with anything religious.

My lack of experience makes this all even more confusing.
 
You might try contacting the parish and seeing if there are parishioners who live in your area who might be able to give you a lift to Church.

Otherwise, nothing you can do if you are truly stuck with no transport.
 
Don’t worry! Have faith. God does not expect the impossible. I would think that your Mom or Dad would take you to a nearby Catholic Church at least occasionally. Do you know any Catholics from school? Perhaps their family could take you?

What you want is to enter the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) class. You would receive Baptism, Confirmation, and First Holy Communion. You have no need for the Sacrament of Penance/Confesssion before Baptism as Baptism washes away all previous sins.

You can watch Mass on EWTN on the internet or TV. You can read about Catholicism online. The ‘Catechism of the Catholic Church’ and the shorter ‘Compendium of the Catechism’ are available free online.

Maybe ask for a copy of the YouCat youth catechism for Christmas.

The worst case is that you might have to wait a few years to become Catholic but that is a small price to pay for Heaven. As I said, don’t worry. Have faith.
 
Hi Hope Philomena,

I agree with PaulfromIowa.

Try asking some of your school friends and see if they belong to any of the churches in the area where you live, to see if you could get to church that way.

It would be nice if your parents could take you, but if that isn’t possible, try and learn what you can about the Catholic faith on-line.
 
Don’t beat yourself up over it. You might find a parish listing and contact them as suggested, to possibly find a ride…
masstimes.org/

If you are not Baptised then you don’t necessarily need to worry about getting to confession. However its great that you recognize your sins! 👍 In that case, you can certainly pray an Act of Contrition…

catholic.org/prayers/prayer.php?p=43

Prayer regarding communion which you can not now receive…
catholic.org/prayers/prayer.php?p=447

As previously mentioned, you can catch Mass on EWTN (if you have it available). Go to the UCCB and read the official readings for Mass…

usccb.org/bible/readings/122313.cfm

And also prayerfully read other scripture. You can start with the synoptic gospels of Mathew, Mark or Luke. God Bless you! Saying a prayer for you…
 
Hope,

How wonderful you’re trying to get to Mass!

I agree; don’t beat yourself up.

:hug1:

SM
 
I’m not sure if you are aware of common Mass/confession times, but most Catholic churches have a “vigil” Mass on Saturday evening that counts for Sunday Mass. Also most churches have Saturday afternoon (usually just before this Mass) as their regular confession time. Perhaps your Mom would be willing to go to a Saturday evening Mass with you - this preserves her “lazy Sunday mornings.” It might even be a nice little habit to get into, to go to Mass on Saturday evening, then to have a little outing for Saturday night - dinner, shopping, pick up a movie to watch, etc…

Also, are you familiar with masstimes.org ? It will help you search for a church by location, in case you’re missing one. Additionally, if there is a college near where your Father lives, it might have a late evening Mass on Sunday night.

If none of this works, then as the others said, don’t beat yourself up over it. Spend your time learning about the faith, and praying at home. And look forward to getting your license and being able to go at your convenience.

God Bless you!
 
BTW, I noticed you asked if you should try walking…if the church is close enough to walk, and it can be done safely, then sure! Or biking (assuming the weather is appropriate). But don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation - traffic wise, or personal safety-wise. If you’re not sure, have your mother help you decide. It really is ok for you to decide not to go, because your only option of getting there is a walk or a bike ride that you’re not certain is safe enough. A Catholic is NOT obligated to go to Mass if it requires putting him/herself in danger to get there.

As for your sins piling up, since you are not Catholic, you may need to start with a conversation with a priest, rather than go to confession. In this case, you would call the church and make an appointment to speak to the priest at a time that is convenient to you.
 
Hope Philomena,

You sound old enough that you should start to have some say in your living arrangements and schedule. Think about how whether or not your living arrangements work for you (church, RCIA, extracurriculars, opportunities to see friends, etc.) and start thinking about a better schedule for you. I don’t know what the legal side of this looks like in your state, but it is not at all uncommon for teenagers with divorced parents to have a say in where they live. Google around a bit to see what your options are.

teenadvice.about.com/od/teenlifefaqsandqas/a/divorce_custody.htm

It would not be unreasonable, for instance, to first talk to your dad about your needs and tell him that if you can’t agree to a schedule that works better for you, that you will need to start talking to your mom about it. Give them a list of what your priorities are–number your wish list in order of priority. I would suggest giving them the list and then asking to talk to them in a day or two, so they have a chance to reflect. You may need to make some concessions in order to get your parents to accommodate you–more chores, some sort of grade minimum, etc. If they keep saying no, ask them, “What would I need to do for you to drive me?” Try not to whine, but don’t be afraid to be persistent.

The good news is that this problem is very self-limiting. In a few years, you will be 1) able to drive yourself 2) have more friends who are driving or 3) be living elsewhere. In the meantime, do your best, but nothing unreasonable. Biking in much of the US is often very dangerous for long distances, and I think walking more than 30 or 45 minutes one way would probably be unreasonable for a teenager, particularly on the shoulder of busy roads. And of course, consider carefully who you get rides with. Aside from perverts, inexperienced drivers are also a problem. Be safe!

Best wishes!
 
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