A Catholic obligation toward persons who experience same-sex attraction

[renee1258]

A Catholic obligation toward persons who experience same-sex attraction.

I live in Massachusetts, where any discernment regarding homosexuality can easily be described as a form of hatred, so Iwe are obligated to explainour positions regarding loving those who experience same-sex attraction. I believe many will be surprised.

Taken from Rev. Gabriel B O’Donnell, OP Columbia Magazine publication of the Knights of Columbus/ January 2007 p. 24

“The Church does not condemn homosexuals or homosexuality. Every person, created in the image and likeness of God, possesses a dignity and worth that demands respect and compassion from one’s brothers and sisters in the human family. While the origins of same-sex attraction are not yet scientifically clear, most of those who are oriented do no choose this sexual attraction. A man or woman cannot be blamed or condemned merely because he or she experiences such an attraction….

The Church must condemn homosexual acts because they are contrary to God’s plan expressed in natural law and in divine revelation. The complementarity of man and woman as male and female is inherent in God’s creative design for human race. “Precisely because man and woman are different, yet complimentary, they can come together in union that is open to the possibility of life.”

Most important was this paragraph.

“Same-sex attraction is a source of great suffering for many men and women who call themselves ‘gay.’ Often misunderstood and rejected by their families and friends, they fear they will not be able to live normal, productive lives. As they retreat into enclaves of like-minded persons, the homosexual subculture provides an apparent safe haven, but it does not really solve the problem.”
Many persons with same-sex attraction have been mislead regarding the teachings of the Church. They are told that we hate them, and that there is no room at the God’s table for them. Many heterosexuals who endorse homosexual behavior, merely agree with it to deny their own sexual sins. We (as in heterosexuals) engage in sexual behavior just as sinful.

Below is the Church’s ministry for those who have same-sex attraction.

COURAGE

For those who do not have same-sex attraction please pray that they will not be mislead into the gay culture as the only way to feel wanted. Reach out and tell them know they are wanted by you.

From Courage

Heavenly Father, you sent us your son Jesus. He died for our sins and rose from the dead demonstrating Your immense love for us. You also gave us your mother Mary to be our mother. Thank you Father for your love.

Lord, convince us of Your deep love for us and help us to see the ways that we distance ourselves from You. Guide us towards making amends for these actions. Help us to love You more.

Father, we implore you to bless the Courage Apostolate. Grant them Your protection and guidance. Help them in their ministry to bring your love, fellowship and direction to those experiencing same-sex attractions.

Please increase the numbers of those willing to bring this important message to those in need and give them the courage and graces necessary to do so. Lord, so much work has yet to be done in this area. I commit to (express your commitment) for this intention.

Amen.

 

[Jennifer123]

Thank you for posting this , if I may add the Catechism, which says, “homosexual people “must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided” (CCC 2358).”

For me personally, I found this paragraph interesting too:

“Yet the Church does not condemn homosexuality in itself. Rather, the Church declares it to be what it is: a disorder contrary to the right ordering of human sexuality. Men and women who experience same-sex attraction are burdened with this disorder, and the Christian community is obliged to support and aid them in their struggle to find their place in the world and within the Church. The Church does not condemn homosexual persons, but only homosexual acts, just as it condemns acts of violence, injustice or greed.”

This was enlightening to me personally.

 

[Other_Eric]

How is it that the Church does not condemn homosexuality itself? The attraction is one that is in direct opposition to the Natural Law enacted by God. Its only possible expression is an evil one. I think this is an instance of an over-reach.

 

[Riley259]

A Catholic obligation toward persons who experience same-sex attraction.

I live in Massachusetts, where any discernment regarding homosexuality can easily be described as a form of hatred, so Iwe are obligated to explainour positions regarding loving those who experience same-sex attraction. I believe many will be surprised.

Taken from Rev. Gabriel B O’Donnell, OP Columbia Magazine publication of the Knights of Columbus/ January 2007 p. 24

“The Church does not condemn homosexuals or homosexuality. Every person, created in the image and likeness of God, possesses a dignity and worth that demands respect and compassion from one’s brothers and sisters in the human family. While the origins of same-sex attraction are not yet scientifically clear, most of those who are oriented do no choose this sexual attraction. A man or woman cannot be blamed or condemned merely because he or she experiences such an attraction….The Church must condemn homosexual acts because they are contrary to God’s plan expressed in natural law and in divine revelation. The complementarity of man and woman as male and female is inherent in God’s creative design for human race. “Precisely because man and woman are different, yet complimentary, they can come together in union that is open to the possibility of life.”
Most important was this paragraph.

“Same-sex attraction is a source of great suffering for many men and women who call themselves ‘gay.’ Often misunderstood and rejected by their families and friends, they fear they will not be able to live normal, productive lives. As they retreat into enclaves of like-minded persons, the homosexual subculture provides an apparent safe haven, but it does not really solve the problem.”Many persons with same-sex attraction have been mislead regarding the teachings of the Church. They are told that we hate them, and that there is no room at the God’s table for them. Many heterosexuals who endorse homosexual behavior, merely agree with it to deny their own sexual sins. We (as in heterosexuals) engage in sexual behavior just as sinful.

Below is the Church’s ministry for those who have same-sex attraction.

COURAGE

For those who do not have same-sex attraction please pray that they will not be mislead into the gay culture as the only way to feel wanted. Reach out and tell them know they are wanted by you.

From Courage

Heavenly Father, you sent us your son Jesus. He died for our sins and rose from the dead demonstrating Your immense love for us. You also gave us your mother Mary to be our mother. Thank you Father for your love.

Lord, convince us of Your deep love for us and help us to see the ways that we distance ourselves from You. Guide us towards making amends for these actions. Help us to love You more.

Father, we implore you to bless the Courage Apostolate. Grant them Your protection and guidance. Help them in their ministry to bring your love, fellowship and direction to those experiencing same-sex attractions.

Please increase the numbers of those willing to bring this important message to those in need and give them the courage and graces necessary to do so. Lord, so much work has yet to be done in this area. I commit to (express your commitment) for this intention.

Amen.

Thank you for sharing these enlightening passages. I, too, am from Massachusetts and am frustrated with the increasingly militant speech of gay activists when referring to those who disagree with them. We’re referred to as hateful and engaging in bigotry. They see us as wanting to deny them basic civil rights that they feel are due to them but in reality they are misguided and lost. Pray for them.

 

[renee1258]

How is it that the Church does not condemn homosexuality itself? The attraction is one that is in direct opposition to the Natural Law enacted by God. Its only possible expression is an evil one. I think this is an instance of an over-reach.

Speaking with persons immersed in the gay culture and listening to them, you will realize they have no control over this attraction. They have not only no interest but no frame of reference what it is like to have any attraction to the opposite sex. I speak of pregnancy and childbirth, and the vulnerability of the mother and the need of a father and simply they don’t understand it at all. So sadly they minimize the importance of child bearing and raising by moms and dads, and dismiss the family by neutering the definition of marriage.

It is our obligation not to lead them to evil, and by not addressing their needs as human beings to be loved and accepted (not as persons with same sex attraction) they will only seek acceptance in gay culture. The problem is as heterosexuals understanding family it is hard for us to understand that they don’t. We must offer is freindship, support as God’s creation not as a gay person, and prayer. That they can live out a productive life as Christians.

We live in an over sexualized culture, and many teens simply are going through an akward stage can be mislead into the gay culture. Two of my best friends “became gay”. One I knew simply had a hard time dealing with boys, because many young men and women are taught it is ok to be dishonorable regarding all things sexual. Her lesbian relationships were desasterous. Another couldn’t relate to his peers and hung out with girls, but as his girlfriends began to settle down and get married he couldn’t relate to marriage and motherhood.

If you read the content of the Courage website, it is incredibly interesting. For instance many men with same sex attraction would love to learn at least the basics of sports so they could enjoy watching a game or participate at a family/company outing. So a part of their retreat is learning how to throw a football. In our society rather then taking the time and effort to make sure all young men can be one of the boys, we tell him go play with the girls and put on tiara and play princesses.

We can no longer ingore these people in great need.

 

[Jennifer123]

In our society rather then taking the time and effort to make sure all young men can be one of the boys, we tell him go play with the girls and put on tiara and play princesses.

We can no longer ingore these people in great need.

IMHO it’s also a matter of us being so desensitized to the needs of boys. We live in such an overscheduled, hectic environment, and it is much easier for girls to “behave” than boys as far as sitting still, being quiet and such, that we as a society prize these tendencies in girls, therefore make boys try to be like girls in these ways, boys see that this is valued, and mock traits that are easier for girls, therefore being less “boyish” IMHO.

Boys need rough play, they need to be loud, they need to express things through body movement. Most parents, educators, etc. today just don’t have time to have a little more patience for the way boys have to express themselves.

It’s a real shame.

 

[Jennifer123]

How is it that the Church does not condemn homosexuality itself? The attraction is one that is in direct opposition to the Natural Law enacted by God. Its only possible expression is an evil one. I think this is an instance of an over-reach.

I too am confused by this.

 

[rlg94086]

I too am confused by this.

I believe it is because of the nature of mortal sin:

CCC:

[1860](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/1860.htm’) Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man. The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.

The Church does not say what causes homosexuality or SSA. Homosexual acts are sin, but the desires themselves may not be something freely chosen. If someone really is born with these strong desires, then they certainly have more difficulty with self-mastery but they are still human beings called to God.

I don’t believe kleptomania (a disordered desire to steal) is a sin either, but stealing is.

 

[estesbob]

How is it that the Church does not condemn homosexuality itself? The attraction is one that is in direct opposition to the Natural Law enacted by God. Its only possible expression is an evil one. I think this is an instance of an over-reach.

I am an alchoholic. Even after 21 years of sobriety i still have a occasional deisre to drink . Should the Church condemn recovering alcholics?

 

[setter]

How is it that the Church does not condemn homosexuality itself? The attraction is one that is in direct opposition to the Natural Law enacted by God. Its only possible expression is an evil one. I think this is an instance of an over-reach.

The Church recognizes the distinction between the person and the disorder. The person with a psychological disorder is not condemned or beyond sanctification.

 

[Jennifer123]

The Church recognizes the distinction between the person and the disorder. The person with a psychological disorder is not condemned or beyond sanctification.

Speaking on my behalf, and I suspect of Eric also, we believe that homosexuals can be in God’s grace even while experiencing SSA, though not while participating in it.

But where I am confused is that homosexuality involves lusting after another of the same gender. As a clumsy analogy, a man can lust after another’s wife, and though he isn’t going to have an actual physical affair, he still longs lustfully for another man’s wife. Isn’t that too a sin even though technically it isn’t adultery?

 

[Jennifer123]

I don’t believe kleptomania (a disordered desire to steal) is a sin either, but stealing is.

Thanks all for your help. I think this is helpful.

 

[Other_Eric]

I am an alchoholic. Even after 21 years of sobriety i still have a occasional deisre to drink . Should the Church condemn recovering alcholics?

The Church recognizes the distinction between the person and the disorder. The person with a psychological disorder is not condemned or beyond sanctification.

I have not said that the person with same-sex attractions was to be condemned. I specifically used the word “homosexuality,” not “homosexual” to refer to the condition, not the man. Therefore, while I find it plausible that the Church might condemn alcoholism, she will never unilaterally condemn the alcoholic except to perhaps suggest that the label “alcoholic” is a reductionist reference for a Child of God. I find it interesting that in your rush to respond to me, you have both managed to fudge the distinction between the condition, which I believe is an evil that the Church condemns, and the man, who is made in the image and likeness of God and is deserving of respect as such.

 

[rlg94086]

Speaking on my behalf, and I suspect of Eric also, we believe that homosexuals can be in God’s grace even while experiencing SSA, though not while participating in it.

But where I am confused is that homosexuality involves lusting after another of the same gender. As a clumsy analogy, a man can lust after another’s wife, and though he isn’t going to have an actual physical affair, he still longs lustfully for another man’s wife. Isn’t that too a sin even though technically it isn’t adultery?

Yes, it is, and that man would need to go to confession. In the same way, a homosexual man who lusts after another man would also need to go to confession.
The Church in the Catechism:

2351 *Lust *is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

Someone with SSA would have to be on guard against sin in the same way a consecrated celibate would need to be on guard against sin. This is even more difficult IMO than a married man, such as myself, to guard against the sin of lust.

That’s why St Paul said…
St. Paul in 1 Corintians 7:8-9:

8 6 Now to the unmarried and to widows, I say: it is a good thing for them to remain as they are, as I do, 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry, for it is better to marry than to be on fire.

 

[hasikelee]

I believe it is because of the nature of mortal sin:

The Church does not say what causes homosexuality or SSA. Homosexual acts are sin, but the desires themselves may not be something freely chosen. If someone really is born with these strong desires, then they certainly have more difficulty with self-mastery but they are still human beings called to God.

I don’t believe kleptomania (a disordered desire to steal) is a sin either, but stealing is.

I think this goes along the same lines as anything that is not perfect or working well in life. Remember, after the original sin, life became imperfect and we all need to be redeemed.

There is suffering, death, darkened minds, temptation and more in this world.

Feeling temptations, whether it be to the same or opposite sex, are just that: temptations. And the Church has always taught that those are not sinful or even necessarily from the person. It could very well be a demon standing over that poor soul, tempting the poor human and extrapolating every weakness.

Another point of view is that SSA is simply a disorder. Of course, recently the APA denounced this idea, but using it as an analogy can help to understand why the Church does not condemn those who are tempted with SSA. Say someone is diagnosed as depressed. They may have suicidal temptations. The actual act of suicide is said to be a mortal sin. But feeling tempted to commit suicide yet still trying to fight against it is a good thing, not something to comdemn.

 

[setter]

I have not said that the person with same-sex attractions was to be condemned. I specifically used the word “homosexuality,” not “homosexual” to refer to the condition, not the man. Therefore, while I find it plausible that the Church might condemn alcoholism, she will never unilaterally condemn the alcoholic except to perhaps suggest that the label “alcoholic” is a reductionist reference for a Child of God.
A needed clarification of distinction.

I find it interesting that in your rush to respond to me, you have both managed to fudge the distinction between the condition, which I believe is an evil that the Church condemns, and the man, who is made in the image and likeness of God and is deserving of respect as such.

You are sounding defensive here.

 

[frommi]

If you read the content of the Courage website, it is incredibly interesting. For instance many men with same sex attraction would love to learn at least the basics of sports so they could enjoy watching a game or participate at a family/company outing. So a part of their retreat is learning how to throw a football. In our society rather then taking the time and effort to make sure all young men can be one of the boys, we tell him go play with the girls and put on tiara and play princesses.

We can no longer ingore these people in great need.

Doesn’t that statement presuppose that man who are attracted to other men don’t like sports?

My observations have led me to believe there is a difference between desiring to be feminine and having a same sex attraction to men.

I know plenty of gay men who like to watch sports, and who could kick my tail in at a variety of sports.

Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things.

That’s where I think Courage falls a little short in their ministry, although I think the ministry they conduct is quite valuable.

 

[renee1258]

Doesn’t that statement presuppose that man who are attracted to other men don’t like sports?

My observations have led me to believe there is a difference between desiring to be feminine and having a same sex attraction to men.

I know plenty of gay men who like to watch sports, and who could kick my tail in at a variety of sports.

Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things.

That’s where I think Courage falls a little short in their ministry, although I think the ministry they conduct is quite valuable.

I know quite a few too, and none of them likes sports. I only assuming it is mentioned, because this is what the people have been asking for. Competitve sports start off way too soon, nothing wrong with keeping score at a game but children are too soon to be dismissed as non-taltented in a sport before they can grow any appreiciation for it.

I agree there seems to be a difference to SSA and wanting to be feminine.

 

[Holly3278]

Courage Apostolate is a great ministry. I love their ministry and I applaud them for what they are doing.