N
nuprin
Guest
I am a Catholic and I’m married to a Jehovah’s Witness! I figured I’d grab your attention right from the start. This is a story…my story…and I don’t know what I’m really intending to do here. Maybe it’s to give a different perspective…maybe it’s to help educate on JW points of view…or maybe it’s even a cry for help and sympathy. Either way, this is just a story without any real advice on how to “evangelize” or “rebuttle” to a JW. First of all, I’ve been a Catholic from birth…I’m also not a very good Catholic until recently separating from my wife. But I do firmly believe everything I’ve ever been taught about the Catholic faith. About three years ago I met and had a relationship with a JW girl. Yes, we were physically intimate outside of marriage. I was going through a tough spiritual crisis in my life and was coming close to leaving the Catholic Church. However, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to leave out of fear of breaking my parents’ hearts (they’re imigrants to this country and they have sacrificed over 20 years of their time, blood, sweat and tears in giving me and my three brothers educational opportunities and spiritual guidance). So, while I was dating this girl, we were both feeling lousy because we were both doing things against our faithful practices (she was especially torn about being with a “wordly” person…or someone who isn’t a JW). So, needless to say, a year later, we were ready to make a change or a difference or to progress (or end things). On the edge of ending our relationship, we decided actually to do the one radical act that started even more trouble…we eloped. Yes, we got married in a “chapel of love” if you will. My intention was to make things better for her (see, if a JW is married to a “wordly person”, it’s ok, because the marriage…even a civil one…nullifies any her from any wrongdoing or any intention of being with a non-JW). On the other hand, I was beginning to feel very guilty about my decision even a month into the marriage. My Catholic upbringing kept ringing in my ears and before I knew it, we separated. It’s been very very difficult because I still love her very much (and I’m still very much IN LOVE with her). But evetnually, with the help of my family and spiritual guidance from a couple of priests, I was able to decide that this was wrong, for me to live with a woman whom I married outside of the Church. So now, I’m living in a different city than her, I’ve reconciled with the Church and I can again receive the sacraments. But the story doesn’t end there. What came up after my separation with her was a fact that I didn’t know about the JW faith before I married her: they cannot divorce (and remarry) for any other reason than infidelity. So, from her point of view, I’ve bascially left her without a choice to ever leave me (unless I force a divorce upon her and remarry another person…which right now is very much out of the question because, like I said, I’m still very much in love with her in a deeply personal and emotional way…she was my best friend). To make things worse, before we got married, I never informed her about the Catholic sacraments and how I can seek a divorce or separation from her if we weren’t married in the Church with the sacrament of matrimony. So, you see, I’ve bascially feel like I’ve ruined her life. And I do speak with her every now and then (again, we were best friends in love), and every time we speak, I am consumed with a guilt so tremendous that I cannot help but break down, cry, become depressed at what I’ve ultimately done to her life. I’ve been able to get back on track with my faith, but I’ve chosen to be alone and separate from her. From her point of view, I’ve taken away our relationship from her, and she probably does blame the Catholic Church for advising this “unfair” situation for her. I’m not sure where to go next with this but to keep praying and to keep moving toward a better understanding of my faith (for the first time in my life). But even in doing this and praying everyday until I cry, I can’t seem to escape my guilt and the terrible feelings of being responsible for her depression. I’ll end my story here (I’ve only given broad strokes). And please forgive me for the length. But putting this down and verbalizing it has helped me deal with this just a tiny bit. Thanks to anyone who has listened.
Besides is she interested in marrying someone else? obviously you are not. So i guess the real issue here is getting your religions straight and working on you marriage.